


Stranded

by alicesprings



Category: As the World Turns
Genre: Amnesia, Desert Island, M/M, Stranded
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-13
Updated: 2011-12-17
Packaged: 2017-10-27 07:35:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 42,248
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/293274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alicesprings/pseuds/alicesprings
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Luke and Reid are on their way to their honeymoon when their plane hits some turbulence...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote the first draft of this for NaNoWriMo, which was a great challenge and lots of fun! I didn’t reach the 50k word count goal, but the fic is now complete and I'll be posting a chapter a day for the next few days. A big thank you to rhiannonhero and cindergal for the beta!

“Cheers,” Luke says, tapping his glass against Reid’s in a toast.

“Cheers,” Reid says, a small smile playing on his lips before he sips his sparkling cider.

“Can you believe we’re on our _honeymoon!_ ”

Reid rolls his eyes. “I believe it,” he says. “I believed it the first time you said it, and the second time you said it, and the third-”

“Okay, okay,” Luke says, shutting him up. “Don’t ruin it.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it, Mr. Snyder,” he says, putting his glass down and threading his fingers through Luke’s.

Luke grins and brings Reid’s hands up to his mouth, pressing a kiss against Reid’s knuckles. “I can’t believe we’re on our _honeymoon!”_

Reid snorts, but says nothing, just grabs a medical journal and starts flicking through it with one hand. Luke shifts in his seat and faces Reid. He can’t keep the smile off his face. He’s never been so happy. He and Reid got married yesterday, by Snyder Pond, with their friends and family watching, and today they’re in his grandmother’s private jet, flying to an exclusive island resort in the South Pacific, where they’ll stay for ten days, with nothing to do but eat, laze on the beach, and each other. Luke grins again.

Reid snorts again, and looks over. “You’re starting to look demented, you know,” he says.

“Oh, Reid!” Luke mocks. “You say the sweetest things!”

Reid smiles, leaning forward to smack a kiss against Luke’s lips. “I’m happy, too,” he says.

Luke’s smile widens. “I know you are,” he says. Luke shakes his head. “I just can’t believe… I didn’t know it was possible….”

Reid kisses him again. “I know,” he murmurs. “Me too.”

Luke sighs happily and leans back in his chair, closing his eyes. He and Reid made love half the night, and then were up early this morning for their flight. He’s finally starting to feel tired, the endorphins wearing off, and he decides a nap is in order. He falls asleep with a smile on his face.

*

Luke’s jolted out of his seat by a fierce shaking. He blinks awake, confused, and looks around the cabin. Reid’s clutching the armrests with both hands, his knuckles white.

“Hey,” Luke says. “You okay?”

Reid nods. “The pilot said we were gonna hit some turbulence,” he says. “I guess it’s started.”

Luke nods, tightening his seatbelt before laying a hand on Reid’s thigh. “It’s okay,” he says, rubbing his hand soothingly. “It’s a normal part of flying.”

“I know that,” Reid says through gritted teeth. “I just don’t like it.”

Luke smiles reassuringly. “I’m sure we’ll be out of it in no time.”

Luke looks out the window. It started raining some time during Luke’s nap, and all he can see is grey. This is the longest flight Reid’s ever taken, and Luke knows he only agreed to it because Luke had his heart set on the island ever since he saw it on the internet, but planes always aggravate Reid’s claustrophobia, and Luke feels guilty.

The turbulence continues for several minutes, and Reid starts to sweat. Luke keeps rubbing his thigh gently, and talking in a low voice, keeping up a reassuring monologue for Reid to concentrate on. Reid popped a Xanax before the flight, and Luke hopes it’s enough to keep him relatively calm, but as Reid tugs at his collar, undoing a couple shirt buttons and loosening it, he looks like he’s about to have a full-blown panic attack. Luke moves his hand up higher on Reid’s leg, his fingers brushing against Reid’s groin.

Reid turns, both eyebrows arching. “Mr, Snyder,” he says. “I’ll have you know I’m a married man.”

Luke grins. “I don’t think your husband would mind,” he says.

Reid’s eyes take on that predatory gleam Luke knows so well, and he shivers.

“Are you suggesting we join the mile high club?”

“It wouldn’t be the first time,” Luke says, happy he seems to have distracted Reid, at least, temporarily.

Reid smirks, no doubt remembering the last time they’d taken the jet – to a medical conference in Las Vegas. Reid’s claustrophobia had kicked in then too, and he was on the verge of panicking when, instead, he’d dragged Luke into the bathroom and pressed up close behind him, the outline of his hard cock digging into Luke’s ass. Luke had been shy, protesting that it was his grandmother’s jet, that he’d known the pilot since he was a little boy, that it wasn’t the right time, and everything else he could think of to put him off, but Reid had been persuasive, and ten minutes later, his palms flat against the mirror, and his cheek pressed to the cold glass as Reid pounded into his ass, he decided that it had been one of Reid’s best ideas ever. Reid had been a lot more relaxed afterwards.

Reid puts his hand over Luke’s and presses it closer to his groin. Luke smirks, leaning forward to kiss Reid as he rubs Reid’s hardening cock through his pants. Suddenly, the plane hits a particularly rough spot, and Luke is sent lurching against Reid, their foreheads knocking together.

“Ow,” Luke says wryly, rubbing his head.

“You all right?” Reid asks, rubbing his own head.

“Yeah, I think so,” Luke says. “I guess we should wait until we’re out of this storm.”

Reid nods, his lips pressed into a line. “It’s okay,” Luke reassures him, just as a flash of lightning lights up the window.

Reid’s Adam’s apple bobs nervously, and Luke squeezes Reid’s leg. “Close your eyes,” he says. Reid dutifully does what he’s told – a sure sign he’s even more freaked out than Luke thinks. A rumble of thunder makes Luke wince, and he notices Reid’s grip of terror on the armrests has returned.

“I’ll get your iPod,” Luke says, fishing it out of Reid’s carry-on bag and popping a bud in each of Reid’s ears. He cranks up the volume and hopes it will drown out the increasingly loud sounds of thunder and the lightening which keeps flashing.

The plane drops dangerously, and Luke lets go of Reid’s leg to grab his own armrests. Reid yanks the earbuds from his ears and swallows hard, his eyes blinking rapidly.

John, the pilot, comes through the intercom. “Sorry Luke, Dr. Oliver,” he says. “I tried to go around the storm but it seems to be following us.”

“Great,” Reid mutters under his breath, just as the plane lurches and drops again.

“I’m afraid we’ve gotten a little off-course,” John continues. “I’m doing my best but the radio’s not working at present.”

“What?” Reid practically shouts. “The radio’s dead?”

“Shh, it’s okay,” Luke says, reaching over to lay his hand on top of Reid’s. “It’s probably just temporary, until we get past the electrical storm.”

“What do you know about flying? Or radios?”

“I know a little,” Luke says. “I took a few lessons, with John actually, a few years ago.”

“You did?”

Luke nods. “When I was in hospital, waiting for the kidney transplant. I was really out of it. I was having hallucinations about being on a plane that was crashing.”

“Christ,” Reid mumbles.

“It freaked me out, too,” Luke says. “When I got better I hopped some flights with John and learned a few things.”

“You know how to fly?”

“Well, no, not really,” Luke says. “I know basically how the controls work, and I could land in case of an emergency. I think. It’s been a while.”

“You never cease to surprise me, Mr. Snyder,” Reid says.

Luke smiles, glad he’s distracted Reid temporarily, but the smile falls from his face a second later as the plane begins to drop again, rocking from side-to-side roughly as the plane shakes.

“Oh God,” Reid says, his voice high pitched.

“John!” Luke calls out. “John?” Luke’s voice is lost in the noise from the storm, and he unbuckles his seatbelt.

“What are you doing?” Reid says, gripping Luke’s arm tightly. “Keep your seat belt on!”

“I’m just going to check on John,” Luke says. “It’s okay, I’ll be right back.”

Reid swallows hard, then gives a jerky nod, and Luke makes his way to the cockpit, holding on to the seats as the plane lurches and shakes.

“John?” Luke knocks on the door of the cockpit. “Are you all right?”

There’s no reply, and Luke opens the door to see John slumped over in his chair.

“John!”

“What’s wrong?” Reid shouts.

“John’s sick,” Luke calls back. “Come here!”

Luke falls into the seat next to John’s and puts a hand on his shoulder. “John, what’s wrong?”

John moans and clutches his chest. “My chest... tight,” he gasps.

“Reid!” Luke shouts.

“I’m here,” Reid says, swaying dangerously in the door. “What’s wrong?”

“I think he’s having a heart attack!”

Reid is tossed into the cockpit by another rough patch of turbulence, almost falling on top of Luke as the plane starts to shake even harder.

“Luke, who’s flying the plane?” Reid asks, panic evident in his voice.

“Uh,” Luke looks down at the controls. “John, have you got this?”

John’s face is deathly pale, and his eyes slip closed.

“Do something, Reid!”

Reid gestures wildly at the controls. "You do something!"

Luke takes over control by activating the co-pilot yoke while Reid takes John’s pulse and undoes the top two buttons of his shirt. “John!” Reid calls loudly, slapping his cheek lightly. “John, are you with me?”

Reid maneuvers John out of the chair and onto the floor and starts performing CPR.

Luke’s on the verge of panic himself, and he picks up the radio. “Mayday, mayday,” he says. “Come in, someone, please. Mayday!”

The radio is silent, and another flash of lightening illuminates the cockpit. “Reid?”

Reid shakes his head. “He needs to be in a hospital. I need a defibrillator. I can’t do much for him like this.”

The plane lurches and Reid is knocked over.

"Reid!" Luke says. "You have to sit down and buckle up."

Reid swears under his breath, and starts compressions again. John's not responding, and the plane jerks, sending Reid flying again.

"Reid, sit down!" Luke shouts.

“Are you handling the plane?”

“I don't know!" Luke says, clearly out of his element.

"You just told me you could!”

“I said maybe! It’s been years! And I don’t even know where we are!”

“Well you better remember fast,” Reid says. “We can’t keep flying blind like this!”

“I know that!” Luke shouts.

The plane nosedives and Reid is knocked all the way to the floor. Luke wrestles with the controls, trying to get a handle on the plane.

“Oh God,” Reid says, crawling toward John again. “We’re going to die.”

“Leave him! Sit.” Luke points at the seat next to him.

Reid curses softly, abandoning John, and managing to climb into the chair. He starts hyperventilating, and babbling about crashing and burning and dying and how burning is a terrible way to die, though drowning isn’t any better, and burning while drowning is the worst of all.

“Shut up!” Luke says. “We are _not_ going to die! Buckle up,” Luke says, and then takes a deep breath, struggling with the controls from the still lurching plane.

He begins a steady descent, and as they finally emerge from the worst of the storm, Luke looks around for land, and attempts to get his bearings, but it’s difficult to see through the rain. He tries the radio again but it’s still dead, and he swears in frustration.

“What?” Reid asks shrilly. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, Reid,” he says. “It’s fine. Try and relax.”

“Relax?” Reid says hysterically. “How can I relax when we're hurtling toward death?”

“Okay don’t relax,” Luke snaps. “I love you, Reid, but shut the hell up so I can try and fly the damn plane!”

Reid is blessedly quiet after that, and Luke continues to guide the plane through the bad weather. “I have no idea where we are,” Luke says in frustration. “John said we’d gotten off-course but I’m starting to think we’re more than just a little off. I think we’re way off.”

“Christ,” Reid mutters.

“Reid!”

Luke hears Reid take a deep breath. “Sorry,” he says. “It’s okay. You’re doing a great job, Luke. You can do this; you can.”

Luke nods firmly. He can do this.

A second later, the engine goes out and the plane drops rapidly, leaning dangerously to the left. Luke struggles to regain control. "I have to land!"

" _Where?_ " Reid shouts. "In the water?"

Suddenly, Luke spots a dark mass down below, and he guides the plane toward it. “I see land, Reid!”

“That’s great,” Reid says, but he sounds all high-pitched and panicked, and then seems to try to make up for it by adding, “You can do this."

Luke squeezes his eyes closed for a second, trying to remember what John had taught him all those years ago, and then he opens his eyes, exhales, and begins preparations for landing.

The plane descends lower and lower, and as they approach the land mass, Luke sees that it’s an island. A relatively small island, with no man-made features as far as he can tell, but with a fairly long stretch of beach which will do as a runway in a pinch.

He tries the radio one last time but is met with only silence. He begins his approach. He senses Reid’s stillness beside him, and a quick glances shows Reid still struggling to stay calm.

“Reid, I’m going to try and land on the beach.”

“Okay,” Reid says. “You've got this. I have faith in you.”

“I love you, Reid.”

“Luke?” Reid’s voice is strangled. “We’re going to be fine, right?”

“I’ll do my best, Reid, but I- I love you so much.”

The wheels have been lowered and Luke reduces speed, the plane prepping for landing, but he’s still going way too fast and he knows it. Still, he can’t do much else but slow down as much as he can from this angle, and hope for the best.

The wheels hit the sand hard and they start to spin out of control. Luke pulls hard on the controls and tries to slow down, but the plane groans and shakes, and the sound of screeching metal fills the air. They’re going way too fast, and the entire plane is shaking from the force of hitting the ground. The plane veers off to the side and into the jungle, the wings crashing through the trees. Luke is pushed up and out of his seat and the last thing he hears before he’s lost to blackness is Reid saying I love you too.

*

Reid blinks his eyes open and looks around. The cockpit. An emergency landing. Right. _Luke_.

“Luke!” Reid scrambles out of his seat and lurches forward. The force of the crash has propelled Luke forward and he is slumped across the controls, unconscious.

“Luke,” Reid says, brushing the hair away from his forehead. He feels a huge lump on the top of Luke’s head, and he swallows nervously.

Reid turns to John, still lying on the floor of the cockpit, and holds two fingers to the pulse point in his neck, but there’s nothing. Reid’s almost certain he was dead before they even hit the ground. He turns back to Luke.

“Luke,” he says gently, checking for other signs of injury and feeling for broken bones. “Luke,” he calls again, more firmly this time. Luke groans.

“Luke!” Reid says, relief rushing through his veins. “Don’t move just yet.”

Luke’s eyes blink open and he groans and closes them again, bringing his hand up to his head. “My head hurts.”

“I know it does,” Reid says gently. “You must have hit it pretty hard, you’ve got quite a lump.”

“What happened?”

“We crashed,” Reid says, swallowing thickly. “The pilot had a heart attack. You landed the plane.”

Luke groans again and starts to sit up.

“Wait,” Reid says. “You could have a neck or spinal injury.”

Luke stills, then pauses for a few seconds. “I don’t think so,” he says. “It just feels like a really bad headache.”

Luke cautiously sits up and rotates his neck gently a couple times. “I think it’s fine,” he says, and given their present situation, Reid’s not sure what else he could do anyway. He doesn’t have a neck brace, or a spine board, and Luke’s range of movement seems okay.

Reid grabs the radio and holds his thumb against the button, bringing it up to his mouth. There’s no crackle of static, there’s nothing. He throws it back down and the plane creaks in protest.

Reid curses under his breath and turns to Luke. “Let’s get out of here,” he says. “I don’t know if it’s safe.”

Luke clutches his head with one hand and follows Reid out of the cockpit. The force of the crash split the plane in two, and Reid blinks in astonishment at the sight. The back half of the plane is slammed against a bank of trees in the distance.

“Oh my God!” Luke gasps from behind him.

“Come on,” Reid says grimly, fighting his way through the mangled and twisted metal. He pauses at the threshold of the broken plane, looking down into the jungle. He sits down, then hoists his body over, holding on with his hands before he drops. The fall is just a couple of feet from that angle, and he lands on his feet, looking back up at Luke who is looking dubiously over the edge.

“It’s okay,” he says. “It’s not that far. Swing your legs over the side and let yourself fall. I’ll catch you.”

Luke hesitates a second, then takes a breath and does what he’s told.

“How’s your neck?”

“It’s okay,” Luke says. “No pain.”

“Okay,” Reid nods. “You should be all right then.”

Luke visibly swallows, then swings his body over the side the same way Reid had done. Reid grabs him around the waist and helps him down the last couple of feet.

“You okay?” Reid asks again.

“Yeah,” Luke says, wincing a little as he rubs his head. “Just a nasty headache.”

Reid exhales in a rush. “Thank God,” he murmurs. “Thank God you’re okay.” He cups Luke’s cheeks between the palms of his hands and leans forward, pressing his forehead against Luke’s. “Thank God you’re okay,” he repeats. “I love you.” Reid presses his lips against Luke’s and closes his eyes, reassuring himself that Luke is safe and alive and warm beneath his hands, just before he’s unceremoniously shoved away.

“Dr. Oliver!” Luke gasps. “What do you think you’re doing?”

Reid blinks, confused. “Uh, kissing you?"

"But why?" Luke splutters.

“Luke?” Reid slowly shakes his head.

“It’s Luke now? What happened to Mr. Snyder?” Luke looks around at the battered remains of the plane. “Oh God,” he says. “The hearing. You’re going to miss your hearing!”

“What?”

“Your hearing,” Luke says. “To get your medical license back. The Annie Judd case! What's wrong with you? Did you forget?”

No. No no no no. Reid shakes his head. This can’t be happening.

“Dr. Oliver?” Luke says cautiously. “Are you all right?”

No. No. No. No.

“Dr. Oliver?” Luke says gently. “What’s wrong? You look white as a sheet. I think- I think there’s something wrong with you. You- you kissed me before.”

 _No._

“Dr. Oliver?” Luke says, his eyes round with concern.

Luke has amnesia.

*

“Come on,” Reid says, turning away. “Let’s head for the beach, see if we can figure out where we are.”

“Beach? What beach?” Luke asks from behind him. “We were flying to Dallas, we wouldn’t have passed over any water.”

Reid pinches the bridge of his nose between two fingers and powers ahead, ignoring Luke’s questions for now. Reid emerges from the trees and finds himself on the beach where they first touched down. Long, deep skid marks stretch out in the sand and the vegetation where the plane barreled into the jungle is broken, including several trees which have been ripped out of the ground by their roots.

Clear, sparkling blue water stretches as far as the eye can see, and the white sand is pristine and clean. This would be paradise, under different circumstances, but right now it’s hell. Reid needs to find help.

The beach is deserted, and Reid looks around helplessly, hoping for signs of life, but there’s nothing, just the warm sun, and a slight breeze in the trees. Luke emerges from the jungle and winces at the bright sunshine. “Woah. Beach. You were right. Where the heck did we land?”

Reid takes a deep breath. “Come on,” he says, guiding Luke to a shady spot. “Sit down and let me examine you.”

“I’m fine,” Luke says, but dutifully sits anyway. "It's just a headache."

Reid snorts, and pinches the bridge of his nose again. “What’s the date?” Reid asks.

“April 22.”

“What year?”

Luke gives him a ‘duh’ look, then replies. “Twenty-ten.”

Reid exhales. “Who’s the President?”

“Obama, of course.”

“What’s your name?”

“Dr. Oliver, this isn’t necessary-”

“What’s your name?” Reid repeats tersely.

“Luke Snyder.”

“Where do you live?”

“Oakdale, Illinois.”

“How old are you?”

“Twenty-two.”

“Your parents’ names?”

“Holden and Lily,” Luke says. “And Damian,” he adds quietly.

Reid nods. Retrograde amnesia. Textbook case.

“I’m going to say three words now, and I want you to remember them, okay? I’ll ask you what they are later.”

“Dr. Oliver, what’s this about?”

“It’s a simple neurological exam. Just listen, okay?”

Luke nods.

“Okay, these are the words. Remember them. Truck. Ball. Rainbow.”

“Truck, ball, rainbow,” Luke repeats.

“Good,” Reid says. “Don’t forget.”

“I’m not an idiot, Dr. Oliver, despite what you call me.”

Reid takes a deep breath. “You suffered a severe blow to the head. You might have a concussion,” he says. “Possibly even a brain bleed. You need to be in a hospital for tests. I can’t tell just by looking at your noggin, even if I am the best neurosurgeon in the world.”

“Full of yourself much?” Luke snorts. “And what makes you think it’s that serious? I told you, it’s just a headache. And I just answered all your questions correctly. There’s nothing wrong with me." Luke pauses. "I did have a brain bleed when I was a baby though.”

“I know.”

“You do?” Luke’s surprised. “How did you know that? Did you pull my medical files, Dr. Oliver? Cause I gotta tell you, that’s a serious breach of ethics, and I don’t care how much you dislike me, that’s-”

“Shut up,” Reid says. Luke looks outraged, and no doubt about to start up again when Reid cuts him off. “Please,” he says gently. “Shut up. I didn’t pull your medical files. You told me.”

Luke scrunches his face up. “No, I didn’t. Why would I tell you that? _When_ did I tell you that? I don’t remember that at all.”

“Luke…” Reid trails off. How can he do this? How can he tell Luke?

“Dr. Oliver?” Luke says quietly. “Are you okay? I’m sorry, I’m just… I’m just a little confused. How did we end up on a beach? What’s going on? Please tell me. I’m starting to get a little, uh, scared.”

Reid swallows hard. “Luke, you hit your head pretty hard when we crashed.”

Luke nods.

“Luke, you have amnesia.”

Luke blinks, then a moment later breaks into laughter. “Dr. Oliver! Be serious please!”

Reid swallows again, and rubs his hand across his hair nervously.

“Luke, I wish I was kidding, but I’m not. It’s not 2010, it’s 2014, and we weren’t flying to Dallas, we were flying to the Cook Islands, that’s why we’re on a beach.”

“No,” Luke shakes his head. “It can’t be.”

“I’m sorry, Luke. But that’s the truth.”

“I don’t believe you!” Luke says sharply. “You’re lying! I don’t know what game you’re playing but I want you to tell me the truth!"

"I am telling you the truth, Luke! We were flying to the Cook Islands, we hit a storm, the plane went off course -"

Luke interrupts. "And why on earth would we be flying there?"

“We’re on our honeymoon, Luke.”

“Ha! That’s a good one,” Luke says, agitated now. “As if!”

Reid winces, and drops his face into his hands, rubbing his eyes and attempting to fight off his own monster headache, which is descending rapidly.

Luke makes a strangled sort of noise and Reid looks up sharply. “What’s wrong?”

Luke’s eyes are wide and they’re darting from Reid’s hand down to his own, and back again. He’s spotted the wedding rings.

“I know this is a shock,” Reid says. “But I need you to try and stay as calm as you can.”

Luke licks his lips and swallows hard, twisting the ring nervously around his finger before slowly pulling it off. He swallows again, then looks at Reid, his eyes wide and terrified.

Reid takes off his matching ring and places it on his open palm, holding it out to Luke.

Luke’s trembling fingers take the ring, and he holds it next to his own, which looks exactly the same, just a little wider than Reid’s, who has slimmer fingers.

“Look inside,” Reid says quietly.

Luke rotates the rings a little, and it’s obvious when he finds the inscriptions, because he freezes completely. Reid watches Luke’s face as he reads the simple words they chose to commemorate their wedding day. _Forever yours. 11-10-14_

"We're married, Luke," he says quietly.

“No,” Luke shakes his head. “This is... a trick! Who put you up to this? And why? Was it Damian?"

"It's not a trick, Luke."

"Some sort of sick joke then. Noah…”

“Noah’s in L.A,” Reid says. “He moved there four years ago.”

“His sight…”

“I fixed it,” Reid says. “We went to Dallas for the hearing, I was reinstated, and I operated the day after we got back.”

“Noah can see?” Luke’s grin is breathtaking, and inexplicably, Reid feels a twinge of jealousy. Luke is his _husband_ , jealousy over Noah Mayer at this point would be just ridiculous.

“Yeah,” Reid says curtly. “He can see, he’s been pursuing a film career in L.A.”

“That’s incredible!” Luke beams. “Thank you, Dr. Oliver!”

Reid frowns. "Can I have my wedding ring back now, Mr. Snyder?"

Luke holds it out and Reid snatches it, putting it back on his finger. Luke doesn't seem to know what to do with his, so he just puts it back too.

“So, Noah’s in L.A, huh?” Luke’s brow furrows. “We never got back together? After he got his sight back?”

At least Luke seems like he believes Reid now. Or at least, is willing to consider it might possibly be true. Reid shakes his head. “Not really.”

“Not really? What does that mean?”

“It means not really,” Reid says gruffly, standing up and brushing the sand from the back of his pants. “I’m going back to the plane, see if I can scrounge up some water. It’s hot out here. You stay put.”

“Wait, we haven’t finished talking about this yet!”

“Later,” Reid says. “How are you feeling? Sleepy?”

“Not at all,” Luke says.

Reid nods. “Good. Stay awake, I’ll be back in a little bit.”

“I want to come with you.”

“You should rest,” Reid says. “You’ve had a severe injury.”

“I’m not staying here by myself!”

Reid sighs. He really doesn’t want to deal with Luke’s mile-wide stubborn streak right now. “Fine, whatever.”

Reid heads back into the jungle towards the plane, and he hears Luke following along a few steps behind. Reid sees a flash through the trees in the distance, and realizes it’s the sun glinting off the wreckage from the back of the plane, and he heads in that direction.

The back of the plane is a shocking sight, with its twisted metal and fuselage scattered through the jungle. One of the wheels is lodged among a tree’s branches, and the groaning sounds coming from the plane aren’t particularly reassuring. Still, he needs to gather as many supplies as he can. He wonders where their luggage ended up, and a second later is gripped with fear as he realizes he needs to find Luke’s carry-on. It has his anti-rejection medication in it, and given no one knows exactly where they landed, and the radio’s dead, it might be a few days before they’re rescued. The last thing Luke needs is to catch some jungle virus and compromise his health. He needs to find those meds. He peers into the plane’s cavity, hesitating just a moment before pulling himself inside.

“Wait up,” Luke calls out. “Wait for me!”

“Stay outside,” Reid calls back. “It’s not safe.”

“You should get out too, then.”

Reid rolls his eyes and ignores him, stepping gingerly through the mess inside the plane. The plane split just outside the cockpit, and he sees the seats where he and Luke had been sitting during the flight, so he heads that way. Luke’s carry-on had been tucked under his seat and he sends up a silent prayer to any deity that might possibly be listening that it’s still there. He breathes out a sigh of relief when he finds it, miraculously still wedged in under the seat. His own carry-on is a few feet away, and looks undamaged, and he makes his way over to the wall where the bar fridge and snacks were. He grabs all the water, and the juice, hesitating over the soda. Caffeine’s a diuretic and they really don’t need to court dehydration - that’s already a threat, but he finally just grabs everything and tosses it into his bag. He grabs the sandwiches and chips, nuts and candy, and shoves what won’t fit in his bag into his pockets, then makes his way back out.

Luke’s standing at the entrance, peering into the plane, and brightens up when Reid approaches.

“Here,” Reid hands over Luke’s carry-on, then his own. “I’m gonna go back and see if I can find our luggage.”

Luke nods.

“There’s water in my bag, drink some,” Reid says. “But not too much.”

Luke nods again and Reid turns and heads back into the plane. He has no idea where their luggage was stored. It’s usually _under_ the plane, at least, on commercial flights. He looks around the plane but doesn’t see any sort of storage area, so he heads back to where Luke’s waiting. There’s no way to get under the plane – not when it’s sitting on the jungle floor and wedged in between trees.

“Do we- do we need this stuff right now?” Luke asks hesitantly. “We’ll be rescued soon, right?”

Reid has his doubts about that, but the last thing he wants to do is freak Luke out even more. “We were a little off-course,” Reid says carefully. “It might be a day or two before they find us, so I figured we’d just get this stuff now.”

Luke seems satisfied with that answer and Reid picks up both carry-ons. “Let’s go back to the beach. I’ll take these.”

“We should share the weight,” Luke says. “Carry one each.”

“You’re injured,” Reid dismisses the idea. “I’ve got this, just follow me.”

Reid starts walking away and after a few feet realizes Luke’s not following him.

“You coming?”

“Uh, sure, Dr. Oliver,” Luke says, and Reid winces. He likes it when Luke calls him that teasingly, as he still does sometimes, but Luke’s not teasing. Reid’s nothing to Luke right now except his recent ex’s surly doctor, and it upsets him more than he’d admit to hear Luke addressing him so formally.

“I would,” Luke continues, “but the beach is back that way.” Luke points over his shoulder.

Reid frowns. “You sure?”

Luke huffs. “I’m sure,” he says. “Have you ever been camping?”

“No,” Reid snorts disdainfully.

“Well, I have,” Luke says. “And I’m thinking my sense of direction out here is probably better than yours.”

Reid sizes Luke up. True, Reid’s kind of useless without the GPS in his car, and Luke _is_ a country boy, underneath it all. “You sure?” Reid asks again.

Luke rolls his eyes in annoyance and spins on his heel, heading back to the beach. Supposedly.

Reid sighs and trudges behind. He hadn’t really been paying attention to where he was going when he walked in, too preoccupied with Luke’s head injury. It’s not out of the realm of possibility that he would have gone the wrong way.

Several yards later they emerge from the jungle, and find themselves back on the beach. Luke’s raised eyebrows and smirk say _told you so_ , but thankfully he keeps quiet.

Reid dumps the bags on the sand and sits down.

“So, what now?” Luke asks.

 _I wish I knew._ Reid pulls out a bottle of water and downs half of it, stripping off his button-up and leaving himself in just his white undershirt. He’s sweaty, and tired, and his head throbs. And his husband doesn’t remember they’re married. Luke drops down next to him on the sand.

“Remember those three words I told you earlier?” Reid asks.

Luke nods.

“What were they?”

“Truck. Ball. Rainbow,” Luke says dutifully.

Reid exhales in relief. At least he doesn’t have Anterograde Amnesia too.

“Did I pass the test?”

Reid snorts. “Yeah, A+". Reid rubs his forehead, and tries to think. They need to get out of here. Priority one: Get help. Reid unzips his carry-on and pulls out his cell phone. It’s working, and the time display reads 6:14pm. Reid has no idea what time it is here where they are, but he suspects nightfall is coming, because the sun has already dipped low in the sky. The reception bars are non-existent, but he tries anyway, dialing the hospital. He figures someone’s bound to pick up there. The line’s silent, and Reid curses.

He fishes Luke’s cell out of his bag and tries that one, too. Again, there’s no signal and no connection.

Reid tosses it back in the bag and groans in frustration, pulling at his hair a little.

“No signal, huh?”

“Ya think?” Reid snaps. Luke holds his hands up in the surrender pose, and Reid sighs. “Sorry,” he mumbles. “I’m just frustrated.”

“Wow,” Luke says. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard you apologize before.”

Reid’s lips twist in a grimace. “I’ve apologized plenty of times, Luke. You just don’t remember any of them.”

Luke tilts his head, his eyes softening a little. Reid can’t deal with that right now, and he stands up, slapping his hands against his thighs. “Okay, we need to make a fire,” he says. “A big one.”

“A signal fire?” Luke asks.

“Yes,” Reid says. “And maybe a smaller one for tonight. I’m assuming the temperature drops at night, given that it feels like it’s been cooling down during the last few minutes. Let’s find some wood and then- oh, God,” Reid stops. “Matches. We need matches, or a lighter or something. Unless you know how to rub two sticks together to make friction?”

The words hang in the air a moment, and Luke looks down, a slight blush on his cheeks. Reid smirks when he thinks about the innuendo. It’s like his Victorian romance heroine is back.

“John was a smoker,” Luke says instead. “He’s probably got a lighter in his pocket.”

Reid nods. “I’ll go,” he says, wanting to spare Luke from the grim task of picking through a dead man’s pockets. “You start gathering wood.”

Luke nods and they both head into the jungle. At the plane, Reid hoists himself inside and heads for the cockpit. The pilot’s where they left him earlier, his skin already turning yellow, and his body starting to decay. Flies are already beginning to buzz in the tropical heat, and Reid shoos them away.

Thankfully, Reid finds a cigarette lighter in his pocket. There’s also a Swiss army knife, and Reid pockets it, thinking it might come in handy, and then fishes out his wallet, too. A picture of three similar-looking girls with brown hair and happy smiles, who look to be in their late 20’s is inside, and Reid can only assume they’re John’s daughters. Reid shakes his head, then stands, looking for anything else that might come in handy. He finds a couple of thin blankets in a cupboard behind the cockpit, and he lays one over John’s body, taking the other one with him.

Back at the edge of the jungle, Luke’s got an armful of small branches he’s dumping in a pile on the beach.

“Guess crashing through the jungle was good for one thing, huh?” Reid says, noticing that most of the firewood was created by the plane cutting through the trees.

“Yeah, it’s fantastic,” Luke says dryly, and Reid snorts in amusement.

“I found a lighter,” he says. “And a blanket. I took John’s wallet, too. These his kids?” Reid asks, holding it open so Luke can see the picture.

“Yeah,” Luke grimaces. “I went to school with Lacey and Sarah. Jane’s a little older. I just saw them the other day but they look…different there.”

Reid looks at the picture. “Older?” Reid asks gently.

Luke bites his lip. “Yeah, that’s it,” he says. “I guess I really do have amnesia.” He laughs, a bitter sounding chuckle, and shakes his head.

“You didn’t believe me before?”

Luke looks at him, his brown eyes clear and appraising. He shrugs. “I guess,” he says. “I mean, the matching rings… the fact we’re on some tropical island… it’s just, crazy. I mean, it is crazy, right?”

Reid snorts. “Crazier stuff has happened in Oakdale. Hell, crazier stuff has happened to _you_!”

“Like what?”

“Like when you were kidnapped to Malta,” Reid says. “Or when those twin freaks kidnapped you.”

Luke’s eyebrows shoot up. “Wow,” he says. “You know about that?”

“You told me,” Reid says. “Years ago, after we’d been together a little while.”

Luke shakes his head. “I can’t get my head around this,” he says. “You and I dating? We can’t stand each other!”

Reid flinches. “Yeah, well,” he says. “Things change.” He bends down and picks up some wood. “Let’s get this signal fire started,” he says. “Down there looks like a good spot.” Reid nods a little further down the beach and Luke hesitates a second before following with his own arm load of wood.

*

They get a pretty big signal fire going just as the sun goes down. The temperature drops and Luke wishes he had something warmer to wear. As it is, he’s in a t-shirt and jeans, while Dr. Oliver – Reid – his _husband_ , and how weird is that? – isn’t doing a whole lot better in his jeans and undershirt, with a thin, long sleeved shirt over the top.

They build a smaller fire and settle in around it, having a dinner of sandwiches and water, with some candy for dessert.

“So,” Luke says, trying to break the awkward silence. “Where were we flying to exactly?”

“Raratonga,” Reid says. “It’s a resort in the Cook Islands. We reserved a villa right on the beach.”

“Sounds nice.”

“You picked it,” Reid says.

“I did?” Luke’s surprised. “I’ve never heard of it.”

“Yeah, well, me neither,” Reid says. “But when we decided to get married you wanted to be in charge of the honeymoon. You were researching places on the internet for months. This place is nice. Fancy and private.” Reid shrugs. “I wonder how long until they realize something’s wrong and start asking questions.”

“Surely someone knows we’re missing by now.”

“I guess,” Reid says slowly. “I wasn’t in the cockpit when the pilot lost radio contact. I’m not sure if he managed to get a mayday through, or alert anyone to our position. We were way off-course though. I know that much.”

“What happened to John?”

“He had a heart attack,” Reid says. “We were going through a pretty bad storm and you went to check on him. You called me into the cockpit and he was having chest pains. No one was flying the plane.”

Luke frowns. “I don’t remember any of that,” he says. “Who flew the plane?”

“You did,” Reid says. “You said you’d taken flying lessons a few years ago.”

“I did,” Luke says. “I remember that.”

“Just not anything from the last four years,” Reid says, a note of bitterness in his voice.

“I’m sorry.”

Reid sighs, and then pinches the bridge of his nose between two fingers, as if trying to stave off a headache. “Don’t apologize,” he says. “You have nothing to apologize for.”

Luke shrugs, staring into the fire. He knows it’s not his fault, mostly. But Reid looks so forlorn, and not at all like the abrasive guy he knows, that he can’t help but be sorry he’s… disappointing him somehow. It’s still almost impossible to believe he’s _married_ to the guy. He just broke up with Noah a week ago. Well, not really. Still, he strangely doesn’t miss Noah, or feel that pull he always felt about him in the past, and he wonders if it has something to do with the amnesia. Does his heart know more than his head right now?

“You should take your meds,” Reid says, breaking the silence and startling Luke. He’s looking at his watch in the dim light by the fire, his forehead wrinkled in concentration. “You’re about due, with the time conversion.”

“My meds?”

“Your anti-rejection meds, Luke,” Reid says impatiently. “They’re in your carry-on.”

“You- you know about my kidney transplant?”

Reid gives him a look which projects his contempt for the stupidity of the question, and Luke swallows. He doesn’t need to know Reid well to understand that look. Of course he would know about the transplant, he’s Luke’s _husband_. Yeah, he’s not getting used to that word any time soon.

Luke fishes through his carry-on, and finds an unopened bottle of his meds.

"You packed a new bottle," Reid says, nodding approvingly. "One-month supply."

"That's good, I guess." Luke shrugs. "But we'll be rescued in a day or two anyway, right?"

“Of course,” Reid says. “We’ll be rescued long before you run out. It’s just good, that’s all. Better to have too many than not enough.”

Luke nods. He realizes that Reid is _taking care of him_ , he's acting like a husband, and it's kind of weirding Luke out, but underneath that he's... impressed?

"So... you _love_ me?"

"I married you, didn't I?"

"Well, some people marry people they don't love," Luke says, thinking of Noah and Ameera.

Reid gives Luke a withering look.

"But I guess I wouldn't do that," Luke says.

"No, you wouldn't," Reid agrees. "And neither would I."

Reid's right. Luke would never marry someone he didn't love. So... it must be true. Reid loves him. And he must have loved Reid. He's surprised he hadn't realized it earlier, but now that he has, it's kind of blowing his mind.

"Uh," Luke tries to think of something to say. “Thanks for getting my bag from the plane.”

Reid nods. “How’s your head?”

“It’s okay, actually. I feel better now that I’ve had some food and water.”

Reid nods again. “I think you’re okay to go to sleep,” he says. “I don’t think you have a concussion but I might wake you up a couple times.”

“Aren’t you going to get some sleep too?”

“It’s okay,” he says. “Doctor, sleep deprivation. I’m used to it. Besides, I know how you sound when you’re sleeping. I’ll be able to monitor your breathing, I’ll know if somethings wrong.”

Luke swallows. Reid knows how Luke sounds when he’s _sleeping_? It’s kind of… creepy? No, that’s not right. If Luke _knew_ Reid, remembered marrying him, it’d be kind of sweet. As it is, he can’t get his head around this, so he says nothing.

“I wish we had our luggage,” Reid mutters, rubbing his hands against his forearms, trying to warm them up. “I’m going to go back tomorrow, see if I can get to it somehow.”

Luke nods, and scoots closer to the fire, putting his carry-on bag under his head for a pillow.

“Here,” Reid says, shaking out the blanket he got from the plane and covering Luke with it.

“What about you?”

“I’m okay,” he says, poking at the fire with a stick. “I’ll keep the fire stoked.”

“Are you sure?” Luke asks, his face splitting into a yawn on the last word.

Reid nods. “Get some rest,” he says.

Luke nods and closes his eyes, too tired to stay awake even if he wanted to. As his breathing steadies out, and he succumbs to sleep, he faintly feels the brush of fingers through his hair and a feather-light touch of lips to his forehead, and then everything is dark.


	2. Chapter 2

Luke’s awakened a couple times during the night by Reid, who shushes him back to sleep again almost immediately, and in what seems like no time at all, he wakes up to the feeling of warmth on his face, his eyes squinting a little at the brightness of the new day.

Luke sits up, groaning as his body protests sleeping on the hard ground all night. Reid’s sitting exactly where he was last night, opposite him by the fire, stoking the dying embers.

"Morning," Reid says.

"Morning," Luke croaks out.

"How are you feeling?"

"Like I slept on the ground all night."

Reid smirks. "You’re not as young as you used to be."

"Oh my God," Luke says as it hits him. "How old am I now? Twenty-six?"

"Twenty-seven," Reid says. "Almost twenty-eight."

"God," Luke moans, dropping his head into his hands. "I’m almost thirty and I don’t even remember my twenties."

Reid snorts, and Luke looks up. "Hey, I’m almost forty, what are you complaining about."

"Almost forty?"

"Fine, forty," he grumbles. "I’m forty."

Luke grins. "Aww, don’t worry, you look good," he says. "Uh, for your age, I mean." He stands up abruptly. "I need to uh, use the bathroom."

"Good luck with that," Reid says.

Luke stalks off into the jungle and relieves his bladder. He can feel himself blushing, and he hopes it dissipates before he goes back out there. Dr. Oliver – Reid – is an attractive man, Luke can see that. And there may have even been a little subtle flirting between them before this trip to Dallas. _Not to Dallas_ , Luke reminds himself. To their _honeymoon_. But Luke has no idea how they went from subtle flirting to married, and the weight of all the things he doesn’t know suddenly feels suffocating.

He stalks back to their campsite and confronts Reid, who’s eating some nuts for breakfast.

"How did we start dating," he asks, and Reid looks up, surprised. "How did we end up married? This is just too _weird_ ," Luke says. "I need some answers."

Reid looks at him thoughtfully for a long moment. "I kissed you in Dallas," he finally says. "And told you I had feelings for you."

"In Dallas?"

Reid nods. "After I was reinstated," he says.

Luke frowns, thinking, trying hard to conjure up some sort of memory of the event. There’s nothing. The last thing he remembers is boarding the plane, a bag of Al’s takeout chili in his hands, on the way to Dallas. Except, that was years ago, apparently. Luke remembers seeing Noah and Richard together in the diner, laughing and joking around, on a date, and he remembers the hurt he’d felt in that moment, but as he tries to dredge up that same feeling now, he finds that he can’t. The hurt’s no longer there, and it’s both strange, and a relief at the same time.

"And what? We just started dating?" Luke asks, incredulous. "Just like that?"

"Is that so hard to believe?"

Luke snorts. "Of course! Of course it is!" Luke says. "We can’t stand each other. All we do is is fight and insult each other and other and you call me names. This _is_ that hard to believe!"

Reid just chomps on his nuts.

"Reid!" Luke throws his hands up in frustration. "I have _amnesia_! I need you to fill in the blanks for me."

"Look," Reid says. "The truth is, you yanked me around for weeks. You couldn’t decide what the hell you wanted. I wanted you. You wanted Mr. Mayer, but Mr. Mayer didn’t want you. Especially not after he saw us kissing."

"He saw us _kissing_?" Luke asks, his eyes wide.

"He came to your house the day he got out of hospital. He saw us through the window."

"Let me get this straight," Luke says, his head spinning. "The day Noah was released from the hospital – by you, I assume?" Reid nods. "Instead of picking him up and driving him home, I was at home, kissing _you_ , and he saw us."

"In a nutshell."

"There’s no way I wouldn’t have been at the hospital with Noah the day he was released."

"He didn’t _want_ you there, Luke. He’d been pushing you away for months, or did you forget that too?"

Luke narrows his eyes, pissed now.

"When I released him from the hospital I asked him if he wanted to call you," Reid plows on. "He had some guy there instead."

"Some guy?"

Reid shrugs his shoulders. "Dorky looking. I don’t remember his name."

"Richard," Luke says, remembering him like it was just yesterday. That’s because it _seems_ like it was just yesterday.

"Richard," Reid repeats, then shrugs again. "Maybe. It kind of rings a bell."

Luke rubs his forehead. "And then what happened?"

Reid sighs, his annoyance evident.

"Mr. Mayer knocked on the door, we stopped kissing – just as it was about to get good, too." Reid frowns. "You went to answer the door but Mr. Mayer pretended he hadn’t seen us, that he was still blind."

"No way!" Luke scoffs. "There’s no way Noah would pretend that! Not after everything we went through."

Reid rolls his eyes. "Yeah, well, he did. We all went out for a drink together-"

"Oh yeah, I bet!" Luke scoffs. "I don’t ‘go out for a drink’," he says. "I don’t drink!"

"I know you don’t," Reid says, seriously.

Luke licks his lips and swallows. "I- I didn’t drink, did I?"

Red shakes his head. "Just soda."

"Oh." Luke exhales, feeling foolish.

"We had sodas," Reid says. "All four of us. I wouldn’t lie to you, Luke. I’m not that guy."

"I don’t know who you are," Luke says, quietly.

Reid’s lips twist into a sad little smile then, and he looks away. "We were at Yo's. I told you to make a decision – him or me, you chose him, then he told you he saw us kissing and dumped you, you came crawling back to me to lick your wounds and I kicked you out."

Luke blinks, trying to take it all in. "Noah dumped me? How could he? We weren’t even together. And wait, what? You kicked me out? So how did we end up _married_?"

"It’s a long story."

Luke laughs, a quick, high-pitched sound, bordering on the hysterical. "We’re not going anywhere in a hurry!"

"Christ, you’re like a freaking dog with a bone," Reid mutters under his breath.

"Charming," Luke says, sarcastically. "I can see why I married you."

Reid’s face changes then, it gets… harder somehow, and Luke feels a strange kind of clench in his chest.

"It was only two days ago," Reid says quietly. "Our wedding." He wipes a hand across his face. "It was a really... good day." Reid smiles sadly.

Remorse floods Luke. He might not like Reid too much, but he _is_ married to him, and Reid _loves_ him, and it's obvious this conversation is causing Reid pain.

"I’m sorry," Luke says. "That was uncalled for. I hurt your feelings."

Reid just shrugs, and there's awkward silence for a long moment. Luke decides to change the subject. "So I'm trying to remember what I learned about the jet when I was younger."

"Do you think there's some sort of emergency tracking device on board?" Reid asks. "Anything to help them find us?"

"I’m not sure," Luke says. "I don’t think so, but there might be some flares or something stowed somewhere. They might come in handy."

Reid nods, then scrubs a hand through his hair. He starts to pace by the fire, talking under his breath. Luke can sense his agitation.

"Look, it might take a couple days but they know where we were when we lost radio contact, and they’ll figure out a search area from that information. I’m sure my grandmother’s already got people working on it."

"You’re right about that," Reid says. "Lucinda’s the person we want on our side in a situation like this."

"Sure," Luke agrees easily. "So don’t worry. We just have to get by a couple days and we’ll be rescued in no time. In the meantime, let’s see what there is out there. Maybe this island isn’t as uninhabited as we first thought?"

Reid nods, and then claps his hands together. "If nothing else, we need to look for a water source. There's only a few bottles left, and dehydration could become a problem."

Luke nods and throws two bottles of water and the last two sandwiches in his carry-on bag, as well as the empty bottles, and shoulders the bag.

They start walking along the beach, and after a long time, Luke breaks the silence.

"How is everyone?" Luke asks. "My family? My parents, everyone in Oakdale?"

"Your family’s fine," Reid say. "Your parents are back together – again. We’ll see how long it lasts this time." There’s a note of derision in Reid’s voice, and Luke has to wonder how many other reunions his parents have had in the four years Luke doesn’t remember. If their track record is anything to go by, there's bound to be a few.

"Emma’s fine," Reid continues. "She’s slowed down a little since the stroke-"

"Stroke?" Luke asks, alarmed.

"Just a mild one," Reid says. "She’s okay, just taking it a little easier these days, instead of looking after all the crazies in your family tree."

"Hey!"

Reid smirks and continues. "Lucinda’s as fierce as ever," he says. "Still married to John Dixon."

"John Dixon? Again? How did that happen?"

Reid looks weird then, his face doing this strange, grimace type thing, and he looks away. "Long story," he says. "Natalie and Ethan are fine, doing well in school."

"That’s great!"

Reid nods. "Faith and Parker are holding it together too, for the sake of the demon spawn."

Luke’s eyes widen, and he grabs Reid’s arm, stopping him in his tracks. "What now?"

Reid sighs. "Your family dramas are so tiring," he says. "Even more so when I have to explain them because you don't even remember." He sighs again. "Parker knocked up Faith when she was seventeen, they have a kid. He’s a nightmare."

Luke blinks. "I have a nephew? I'm an uncle?"

Reid gives him a withering look.

"What's his name?"

"Edward," Reid mutters.

"Edward? That's a … serious name for a baby."

Reid gives an exaggerated shudder. "Yeah, well, when it turned out he didn’t sparkle, just cried and pooped a lot, they started to call him Eddie instead."

"He didn’t sparkle? Am I supposed to understand that?"

"Never mind. It was a movie. Or a book. I don’t know. Your sister has terrible taste, and her kid is a brat."

They follow the beach around until their camp is out of sight, and lapse into silence again as Luke tries to digest all the information Reid’s given him. He’s glad his parents and his brother and sisters are doing well, though he’s worried about his grandma’s stroke, and hopes she really is taking it easier, and not just _telling_ everyone she is.

Luke feels like there’s still a lot he doesn’t know about Noah and what happened between them, but Reid doesn’t seem like he wants to revisit that topic again in a hurry, so Luke puts it aside, for now.

As they walk, they keep an eye out to sea, hoping to spot a boat, or even another island, but there’s nothing. The jungle isn’t giving up much either, the overgrowth looks thick and untouched, and Luke’s rapidly losing hope this island has anyone else on it besides them. They walk another half-mile or so, as the beach twists back around until their signal fire's visible in the distance, and then Luke’s hand shoots out and grabs Reid’s arm, halting him in his tracks.

"Do you hear that?" Luke asks.

Reid tilts his head, listening, and then he hears it. "Water!"

Luke smiles and nods toward the jungle. "There must be a stream or something," he says. "Let’s go."

They enter the jungle and follow the sound of the water. It gets louder as they walk, and it’s only fifty yards or so until they find the source. It’s even better than Luke could have imagined.

"A waterfall," Luke says, his face splitting into a grin.

Even Reid cracks a smile then, and they walk closer. "But is it safe to drink?"

The waterfall’s about 50 feet high, flowing from above down into a sizable pool. "Look for animal tracks leading to the water," Luke tells him, remembering something Holden had taught him once. "If animals are drinking from it, it should be safe."

They do better than that, spotting some kind of odd looking native animal - a cross between a possum and a rat - drinking at the edge of the pond.

"It's fresh!" Luke sighs in relief.

Reid says, "But it could still contain parasites."

"Right, we have to boil it first." Luke frowns. "We don't have a container we can use, do we?"

"No, but we don't need one," Reid says.

"How are we supposed to boil it then?"

"I saw something on TV once," he says. "Believe it or not, plastic bottles also work for boiling. You just have to fill the bottle right to the top, cap it, and drop it on some hot coals. The lack of air in the bottle should keep it from melting."

"No kidding?" Luke's impressed. "Okay, let's fill these up."

They crouch by the edge of the pond and fill up the bottles, and when they're done, Luke stands up and strips off his shirt, then hesitates, his hand on the button of his jeans. _What the hell?_ Luke thinks, if Reid’s his husband he’s seen Luke naked before. Besides, he’ll keep his boxer shorts on. He kicks off his shoes and socks just as Reid fills his last bottle and looks up.

"What- what are you doing?"

"Going swimming," Luke says. "It’s hot out, and as long as I don’t get it in my eyes and don't swallow any, it should be fine."

"But- but," Reid stammers. "You have a head injury."

"I’ll try not to hurt my head then," Luke says, wading into the water. It’s cool, and feels amazing on his heated skin. He swims out to the center of the pool and then turns, treading water while he waves at Reid. "Come in!" Luke shouts. "The water’s great!"

Reid hesitates a second, then shrugs, and strips off his t-shirt. His chest is surprisingly well defined, firm abs on display, but it’s marred by a long scar right down the center of his chest. The scar’s thick, the skin white against the light tan of his chest, but it doesn’t detract from Dr. Oliver’s… beauty. Luke swallows hard and looks away, treading water while Reid makes his way over.

"There’s not a body of water out there that you won’t swim in," Reid says, grumpily.

Luke wrinkles his nose. "What?"

"That filthy puddle back home," Reid says. "You love it."

"The pond?"

Reid nods.

"I do love it," Luke smiles. "How did you- do we-"

Reid nods again, short and sharp. "You drag me out there whenever you get a chance."

"You don’t like it?" Luke tilts his head curiously.

Reid shrugs, one glistening shoulder emerging from the water.

Luke thinks there’s something more to the story, but Reid’s got that awkward look on his face again. The one that means Luke has asked certain questions that Reid doesn’t want to answer.

Reid swims over toward the waterfall, and Luke follows. Where the water hits the pool it splashes back up in needles, and mist fills the air. They tread water for a while, admiring the way the sun turns the mist into rainbows, the light refracting off the water.

"It's so pretty," Luke says.

Reid looks at him, a half smile on his face, and nods.

Luke pushes away and swims a lazy backstroke, turning in a wide arc in the water. He keeps his eyes on Reid though, who's swimming an improvised breaststroke without putting his head under water. Reid's hair glows a dozen different shades in the sunlight. Luke can't pick just one color to describe it - it's multi-faceted, kind of like Reid. There’s still so much Luke doesn’t know about the man he’s stranded alone on this island with, the man he’s apparently married to. He wonders what kind of things they do together, if they go to the movies, or bowling, or to the Farmer's Market on Saturday mornings. He wonders what they could possibly have in common, but there must be something. After all, he married the guy.

At that moment, Reid must have found a ledge of rock to stand on, because his torso lifts up from the water, and Luke again admires his stomach and the way the muscles in his arms flex in the sun. It occurs to Luke, in that moment, that he's touched that scar, and probably had his hands all over Reid’s body, that he's had his _mouth_ on Reid's skin, and on Reid's... penis. Reid’s eyes land on his and Luke feels exposed - an embarrassed blush heats his cheeks.

If Luke’s had his hands on Reid, then Reid’s had his hands on him, too. Luke squeezes his ass a little and notices that it's tender, and he's mortified to realize that it's because the night before last was his _wedding night_ , and Reid was obviously _inside him_ , because they are _married_. Luke feels a weird twist inside - he’s never even thought about being with anyone other than Noah. And until recently - _no, not recently, four years ago_ \- he’d thought he’d be with Noah for the rest of his life. Now, though, he’s staring at the body of a man who has intimate knowledge of Luke, and he feels the disadvantage in a visceral way. It’s one thing to try to accept that he’s lost four years of his life in what feels like a single day, but it’s another to _feel_ the physical effects of an intimacy that he can’t recall. It was his wedding night, and he doesn’t remember a thing about it.

"You okay?" Reid asks, swimming closer, an expression of concern on his face.

Luke stares at him, the realization that Reid’s emotions for him are deep and sincere, and that he’s been naked and incredibly intimate with this man, stuns him. He swallows hard, and then says, "Yeah. Just... it’s a lot to take in."

Reid frowns. "You should get out. You’re hurt."

Reid heads back to shore, and Luke follows him, deciding that since he can’t remember his entire relationship with Reid, he can either freak out about it, or stay calm, and he figures they have enough to worry about without adding a freak-out to the list. He sprawls out on the bank next to Reid, who is wiping water off his chest with his hand.

Luke tries not to look, but he can’t help sneak in a few surreptitious glances. Reid interlocks his fingers and puts them underneath his head, resting it there on his crossed arms, and from this angle Luke notices another scar, running from the front of his chest to his back, between two ribs, passing just underneath his armpit. Luke tears his eyes away, trying not to stare, though he's curious about the scars, wondering how Reid got them.

Luke can’t help himself. Reid looks good almost naked. Reid looks good _wet_ and almost naked. Luke wonders what he looks like completely naked, and it’s not hard to imagine, his wet boxer briefs are tight and… clingy. Luke squeezes his ass again, feels the tenderness where the penis outlined so clearly against Reid’s leg had obviously thrust into him so hard he can still feel it today, and then Luke clears his throat and forces his mind away from the thought before his body embarrasses him.

"So," Luke broaches the subject, anything to detract from his other thoughts. "How'd you get the scars?"

Reid frowns, and looks away, refusing to meet Luke's eyes. "Car accident," he finally says, and his tone of voice makes it clear that he doesn't want to elaborate, so Luke just nods.

They lie there for a few minutes, catching their breath. Luke closes his eyes, enjoying the feeling of the sun’s warm rays on his wet skin. When he opens his eyes, he catches Reid staring at him with a look Luke doesn’t think he’s ever seen before. Reid’s not looking at Luke’s body though, the way Luke was, he’s watching Luke’s face, and Luke turns away, flushing under the onslaught of such an intense look of… longing? Reid doesn’t look away though, and Luke sighs. Luke can’t _really_ say he wishes he remembered. Reid doesn’t mean anything to Luke. Not now. Not what he _should_ mean. If anything, Luke still feels like there should be a lot of antagonism between them.

Still, Luke _does_ wish he could remember, if only to take away the look of hurt that flashes across Reid’s face sometimes, before he notices Luke watching and schools his features back into a look of nonchalance.

"So," Luke says, breaking the silence. "The island’s deserted. There’s no one here to help us."

Reid rolls his lips inside his mouth for a moment, then releases them. "It doesn’t matter," he finally says. "Rescue’s on the way. We just have to sit tight for a day or two."

It hits Luke, in that moment, that Reid’s lying. "Oh my God."

"What?"

"You don’t actually believe that," Luke says. "I can tell you’re lying. I can _tell_! How can I tell?"

Reid rubs his forehead, briefly closing his eyes before reopening them. "You know me, that’s how."

"Oh my God," Luke says again. "So you _were_ lying."

"Fine," Reid says. "I was lying. I don’t think we’ll be rescued in a day or two. We were way off-course and now we’re on some tiny, uninhabited blip of an island in the middle of a vast ocean. I think it’ll take them a while to find us."

"Gah!" Luke throws up his hands. "Are you always this pessimistic?"

Reid shrugs. "Just realistic."

"And this is something I like about you?"

"Rumor has it that after years of being yanked around by someone who didn't know what he wanted, you're fond of my ability to cut through the bullshit and face facts, yes."

Luke frowns. His first instinct is to defend Noah, but it's not a strong instinct, so he ignores it. It's not like Reid's wrong about Noah's indecisiveness.

"Look, it’s okay," Luke says after a moment of contemplation. He hooks a thumb toward the waterfall. "We found water, which was the most important thing. I’ve got my meds, and I bet if we look hard enough, we’ll find something we can eat. Coconuts, or bananas or something. It’s not an ideal situation, but we’ll be all right until rescue arrives. Right?"

"Right," Reid says, and starts putting his clothes back on. Luke does the same, and Reid packs up their now full water bottles.

"So let’s go find some food."

They do find coconuts, and bananas, and lots of trees near the waterfall populated by fruit bats. The tiny red berries on the tree are delicious, tart and juicy, and Luke fills his stomach with them.

There's an abundance of coconuts, too, and Reid tells Luke the green ones are best for drinking. "Each coconut can contain up to a quart of water," Reid says.

Luke tilts his head curiously. "How do you know that?"

Reid lets out a somewhat self-deprecating chuckle. "I saw it on _Man vs. Wild_."

Luke's silent for a full ten seconds, then he bursts into laughter.

"Shut up," Reid mutters. "Bear Grylls is hot, and besides, I knew how to boil the water, didn't I? And now I not only know how to get those coconuts down." Reid points up, where the coconuts hang high above them. "I also know how to get them open."

Luke just laughs again, but when Reid shimmies his way up the tree, his jeans stretching tightly across his butt as he climbs, the laughter dies in his throat, and he almost gets clobbered in the head when the first coconut drops.

"Look out!" Reid shouts. "You've already got amnesia, you want to be unconscious next?"

Luke shrugs sheepishly, and pays careful attention as the rest of the coconuts drop. He pays even closer attention to the view on Reid's climb back down.

Later that day, Luke watches Reid quickly and efficiently get the camp fire started. “You're not too sucky at this survival stuff," Luke says. “For someone who's never been camping, you know almost as much as I do. Just how much Bear Grylls _do_ you watch? As your husband,” Luke begins, trying it out. It still sounds weird as hell. “Should I be jealous?" Luke grins.

Reid snorts, somewhat bitterly.

“What?”

“Nothing. Forget it.”

“Tell me,” Luke says.

“Just let it go! You’re so stubborn.”

Luke grins. “So just tell me. You know you will eventually, since I’m so stubborn and all.”

Reid shoots him a dirty look.

“Oh, wait,” Luke’s smile falters. “Is it… something I already know? From before?”

“No, I’ve never told you this before.” Reid shakes his head. “I’ve never told anyone this before,” he adds quietly.

“Oh,” Luke says. “Uh, you don’t have to tell me. It’s probably none of my business.” Luke silently curses his big mouth. Reid’s entitled to his private thoughts without Luke pushing. He always pushes. It's what Noah hated about him. It's the reason they broke up. He wonders if it's something Reid hates about him too.

Reid looks at him sharply then, his eyes piercing and intense. Luke squirms under the scrutiny, and Reid sighs, closing his eyes briefly and pinching the bridge of his nose between two fingers.

“I read a book once,” Reid says. “When I was a kid. About survival skills.”

Luke nods.

“I still remember it,” Reid says. “I have a photographic memory. It’s all coming back to me.”

“You have a photographic memory? Wow, that must have come in handy in med school!”

Reid sighs, and gives a tiny nod.

“So why’d you read the book?” Luke asks. “No offense, but you don’t strike me as the outdoorsy type.”

Reid snorts. “Angus, my uncle, he thought I was… weird. I was always reading medical books or playing chess. I didn’t have too many friends growing up.”

“You didn't have too many friends growing up?” Luke asks. "But you're so sweet and friendly!" He wrinkles his nose to take the sting out of his words, and Reid huffs.

"Anyway," Reid goes on. "Angus said he’d take me camping this one time. I read the book to prepare.”

“That’s cute.” Luke smiles. “How old were you?”

“Twelve.”

“So, how was the camping trip? Did you impress your uncle with all your knowledge?”

“We never went,” Reid shrugs. “Something came up.”

“That’s too bad.”

“I didn’t even want to go anyway,” Reid says. “I just didn’t want him to think I was the pussy little fag he said I was.”

“He called you that?” Luke’s incredulous.

Reid just shrugs again, and wipes his hand over his face. “Whatever,” he says. “It’s in the past.”

“Do you still talk to your uncle?”

“Not since I left for college,” Reid says. “Miserable, old bastard.”

Luke nods, feeling awkward, and not sure what to say. Finally, he recalls something Reid had said earlier in the conversation. “So... you play chess. I play too.”

Reid nods. “I know,” he says. “We play together sometimes.”

"Oh.” It's yet another thing he doesn't remember. Luke looks away, watching the waves break on the ocean. He tries to conjure up a memory of playing chess with Reid, of how Reid looks during a game. Is he all intense concentration? Or does he get that look of contentment on his face, the same one he had when they were trapped in the elevator together and he was describing the brain, and all the things in the world he loves. Luke takes a breath. “So,” Luke says, attempting to change the subject yet again. “We know my grandmother and my parents will be looking for us by now. Will anyone be missing you?" Luke asks. "Your family? Parents?"

"My parents are dead," Reid says.

"Oh," Luke says. "I'm so sorry."

Reid shrugs, and looks away.

"No other family?" Luke prods. “Besides your uncle?”

Reid looks at him, his eyes sharp. " _You're_ my family, Luke," he says, mouth pressing into a hard line. "And you don't remember me."

"Reid-"

Reid exhales sharply, and stands. "I'm going to take a walk."

Later, Luke’s poking at the fire with a stick, stoking it up for the night when he feels a drop of rain hit his nose.

Reid curses from where he’s sitting on the other side of the fire, and Luke looks up.

“It’s going to rain,” Reid says.

“Maybe just a quick shower?” Luke asks, hopefully.

Luke’s answer is a low rumble of thunder, and the sky, blue and clear just a few minutes ago is suddenly grey, ominous clouds gathering in the distance.

“Storm’s coming,” Reid says. Then, “Shit.”

Luke stands up and starts shoving things inside his carry-on bag. “Pack up your stuff,” Luke says, nodding down to Reid’s bag. “We have to get off the beach.”

“And go where?”

“I don't know,” Luke says. “But we can’t just sit out here. The fire will go out, and we’ll be wet and cold."

"We’ll have to go to the plane,” Reid says. "It's not too far."

“No,” Luke says. “I don’t like that idea.” The thought of sheltering next to John’s dead body freaks him out

“Well do you have a better one?”

Luke hesitates a moment. "The back of the plane, not the front. John's there and..." Luke trails off, but Reid's eyes widen in comprehension, and he nods. "The back it is."

Another loud rumble of thunder cracks in the sky, and fat raindrops begin to fall. Reid shoulders his bag and heads into the jungle just as a flash of lightning bursts in the sky, and Luke hurries after him.

By the time they get there, Luke’s soaked to the bone. They both clamber up into the wreckage and get out of the rain, and Luke shivers, shuddering at the feel of his wet clothes clinging to him uncomfortably.

“Get your clothes off,” Reid says, unbuttoning his shirt and pulling it off.

“Huh?” Luke asks, dumbly.

“Take your clothes off,” Reid repeats, stripped down to his bare chest now, as he wrings the water out of his shirt. “You have to dry off. You can’t risk getting sick. Not out here.”

Reid kicks off his shoes, then takes off his wet jeans, pulling the blanket out of his carry-on and rubbing it briskly across his damp body.

Luke swallows, and turns around, shucking off his wet t-shirt and jeans, and drying himself with the slightly damp blanket Reid hands him, while Reid wrings as much water out of Luke’s clothes as he can.

Luke scrubs the blanket through his hair, then wraps it around his body and watches as Reid spreads their clothes out across the chairs to dry, his wet underwear clinging to the not unimpressive bulge there. Luke shivers, the cold already setting into his bones, and his teeth chatter loud enough that Reid hears them over the sounds of the storm whipping outside.

Reid starts pulling out the armful of fire wood he gathered up and shoved into his bag back on the beach.

“It’s a little wet,” he says. “But hopefully it’ll take.”

"Maybe there's some dry paper or something in here," Luke says.

Reid starts prepping a fire close enough to the edge of the wreckage that the smoke will blow outside, but inside enough to keep them away from the rain that’s being kicked inside the wreckage by the wind, while Luke heads toward the back of the plane. He spots a copy of the _The Intruder_ on the ground and picks it up, bringing it over to Reid.

"Here, use this," Luke says.

“Good,” Reid says, grabbing a couple of pages from the center and scrunching them into a ball. He sets it under the stack of wood he’s arranged and then lights it up with John’s lighter. Luke holds his breath as the flame hovers under the damp wood, praying that it will ignite, and when it does, he lets out his breath.

Reid nods, and smiles up at Luke in satisfaction, his curly hair hanging in wet tendrils on his forehead, and Luke can’t help but return the smile.

"We make a good team," Luke says.

"We make a _great_ team," Reid says, and looks away, smiling a little sadly.

Luke swallows past the lump in his throat. “Here,” he says, unwrapping the blanket from himself and holding it out to Reid. “Get warm.

Reid shakes his head. “You keep it,” he says. “You can’t afford to let your body temperature get too low. Not with a compromised immune system. You can't afford to get sick out here.”

“Well you shouldn’t get sick either,” Luke says, shaking the blanket.

“I’m not taking it from you,” Reid growls.

Luke rolls his eyes and drops down onto the cold metal of the plane next to Reid. “Fine,” he says, handing one half of the blanket to Reid. “We’ll share.”

“We can do that,” Reid agrees, wrapping the blanket around his shoulders. He tugs Luke closer, wrapping them both more securely, and Luke shivers a little at the contact of their chilled skin pressed together.

“Cold,” Luke mutters, closing his eyes.

After a few minutes, the fire is roaring, and Luke greedily sucks up the warmth. Reid’s still shivering beside him, and Luke moves even closer, hunching over his folded up legs and managing to cocoon them entirely in the blanket.

The rain is falling hard, sheets of water cascading off the roof of the plane, some of it being whipped inside by the wind.

“That came out of nowhere,” Luke says.

Reid hums his agreement. “Tropical storm,” he says. “I think they do that.”

Luke shivers again, despite the fire, and the blanket they’re wrapped in, and Reid wraps his arm around Luke’s back, urging him closer to Reid’s body heat.

“Thanks,” Luke mumbles, another shiver going through his body, though this one’s not because of the cold, but because of the closeness of Reid’s body to his own. He swallows hard, and tries to tamp down the hard-on he feels stirring. _Christ. Not again._ Maybe Luke’s body knows what his brain doesn’t – he’s married to the practically naked, extremely attractive man sitting next to him.

They sit in silence, and watch the fire crackle and burn, while the occasional lightning strike lights up the sky. It’s dark outside now.

“Will we have to stay in here tonight?” Luke asks.

“Probably,” Reid nods slowly. “I don’t think the rain’s letting up. And even if it does, it’s too dark to find our way back to the beach. We don’t even have a flashlight. With any luck, this damn plane will hold together tonight.”

"At least we’re far enough off the ground that I don’t think wild animals will be a problem.”

Reid’s eyes widen. “Oh geez, I hadn’t even thought of animals.”

Luke chuckles. "It's okay," he says. "The fire will keep them away too."

“We should make some kind of shelter on the beach tomorrow,” Reid says.

“Do you… do you really think that’s necessary? We’ll be rescued in a day or two.”

Reid shrugs. “Yeah, but it might rain again tomorrow, and we’ll be more comfortable sleeping on the beach than we will be here.”

Luke can’t disagree with that. Even though they’re out of the rain, the wind is still tossing water into the plane, and Luke has no idea how they’re going to sleep huddled around the fire tonight.

Luke reaches an arm out of the blanket and snatches up the discarded newspaper, hoping for a distraction.

"Wow," he says, as he sees the date. _November 11th, 2014._ "That's really... weird. Seeing the date written out like that."

"You okay?" Reid asks, a note of concern in his voice.

"I- I guess." Luke's mouth wobbles, and he feels a surge of emotions swirling inside. It's cold, dark and raining, he's stranded on a desert island, and he doesn't remember the last four years of his life. He closes his eyes, blinking away the tears that are threatening to fall.

"It's okay," Reid says gently, as if he knows exactly what Luke's thinking. "I know it's tough right now but once we get out of here, and back to safety, things won't seem so bad, okay?"

Luke nods, but says nothing, too scared to open his mouth in case he starts crying. Reid just pulls him even closer and rubs a reassuring hand up and down his forearm. Luke shivers at the sweet touch, and Reid mistakes it for cold, and throws another stick on the fire. Reid's being kind to him, Luke notices, and it makes him feel good, if a little strange. Luke can count the number of times Reid's been kind on one hand. _Only because you don't remember any differently_ , he reminds himself.

They watch the fire for a long time, as the rain and wind continue to fall and howl outside the plane, then they each eat a couple of bananas for dinner, and wash it down with more water.

"It's so cold," Luke says. "I don't know how we'll get any sleep tonight."

"We won't," Reid says. "Not out here anyway. Our best bet is to sleep in the chairs." Reid nods back into the plane.

"Away from the fire?"

"Away from the fire," he says. "But also away from the rain and the wind. At least the seats are comfortable. We've both slept in them before."

"But it's so cold back there."

"We should... share a chair, and the blanket," Reid says. "Our combined body heat will be better than shivering on this cold metal by the fire. If that's all right with you?"

Luke swallows. "Of course, sure," he says. "Whatever you think is best. You're the doctor, and the survival skills expert," Luke nudges him, and smiles, and Reid snorts softly, smiling back.

"Come on then," he says, standing up and holding out a hand to help hoist Luke up.

They move their still damp clothes closer to the fire and stoke it up with a few more sticks for the night. They recline one of the chairs and then Luke hesitates. It's bigger than a standard seat, but not that big - it'll be a tight squeeze.

"Spooning up is best for sharing body heat," Reid says.

Luke blinks.

"Usually, you're the little spoon, but if you're more comfortable being the big spoon, then that's fine, but can you hurry up, I'm cold."

"Uh, no, that's fine," Luke says, climbing awkwardly into the chair.

A moment later, Reid's chest presses against Luke's chilled back, and he can feel Reid's hard nipples against his skin. He shivers, and Reid tucks the blanket in around them. "Okay?"

Luke nods, and Reid tangles their legs together so that their bodies are touching from head to toe. They fit together perfectly, and Luke wonders how many times they've slept this way in the past. They seem to just... fit, and Reid seems comfortable, showing no signs of the awkwardness Luke feels. After a few minutes, Luke starts to feel warm and he yawns widely, his tiredness catching up with him. He drifts off to sleep with Reid's arm snugly tucked against his chest.

*

Luke's dreaming. He feels warm and snug, and happy. Really happy. He's got a little morning wood, and he can feel another hard-on pressed against his ass. He moans happily, not quite ready to wake up, just enjoying the sensations for now. Soft kisses are pressed to the back of his neck and shoulders. Luke sighs, his whole body beginning to tingle, and then the hand that's resting against his chest slides lower, and grasps his erection lightly, the fingers teasing Luke's shaft. It's been so long since he woke up like this. So long since he last made love. It was months ago, before Noah's accident, and Luke rubs his face into the pillow, happy about the turn of events.

"Noah," Luke sighs. "Feels good."

Suddenly, the hand is gone, and Luke feels a rush of cool air on his skin as the body behind him moves away and the blanket is ripped off them. He blinks his eyes open, waking up, and is momentarily disorientated as he looks around. This isn't his bedroom, or even the one he shared with Noah. This is... his grandmother's jet. And that hand didn't belong to Noah. It belongs to Dr. Oliver. Reid. Luke's husband. He has his back to Luke and is picking up his clothing and putting it on.

Oh, God. That wasn't a dream, that was real. Luke's hard-on shrivels away, and he feels mortified. "Uhm," Luke clears his throat. "Good morning."

Reid grunts, but doesn't turn around. He just sits down and puts his shoes back on.

Luke runs a hand through his hair, trying to flatten it down into some semblance of normalcy, while Reid, finished with his shoes stands up and claps his hands against his thighs.

"I'm going back to the beach," he says, without turning around, and before Luke can answer, he drops over the edge of the plane, landing with a gentle thump on the ground outside.

Luke waves a hand after him. "Sure," he says to himself. "Okay, sounds great. I'll come with you. Oh wait, too late, you're already gone."

Luke sighs, and scrubs his hands across his face, wiping sleep from his eyes and standing up to pick up his own clothes. Once he's dressed, he heads for the beach, where Reid's forcefully throwing wood onto the signal fire.

"Need some help?"

Reid grunts, and bends sown to pick up more wood. "I've got it," he says, flinging logs onto the pile.

Luke hesitates. "Uh, about earlier-"

"It's fine, Mr. Snyder," Reid says, cutting him off.

 _Mr. Snyder? Ouch._ "It's just that-"

"I said it's fine," Reid says, throwing the last log with more force than strictly necessary, before turning on his heel and stomping off toward their camp.

Luke trails after him. It's clear Reid doesn't want to talk about it, but it feels weird not to acknowledge what just happened. Luke wants to talk about it, clear the air, but when he catches up, Reid's already shouldering his carry-on bag.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm going to get started on building a shelter," Reid says. "We don't want to get caught out like last night again."

Luke nods slowly.

"See if you can find some long lengths of wood. I'm going back to the plane to see if I can scrounge anything up from there."

"Want me to come with you?" Luke asks, but Reid's already stalking through the jungle, away from him. "Just look for wood," Reid calls back without turning around.

Luke sighs, and drops down to the sand. First thing's first. Breakfast. Some water, and then wood. And maybe later he'll try to talk to Reid again.

*

"Bonehead," Reid mutters under his breath as he heads for the plane's wreckage. "Bonehead, bonehead, bonehead."

Reid had been still half-asleep and not exactly cognizant of his surroundings when he'd grabbed Luke's cock this morning. He wasn't thinking yet, his brain not running on full capacity, and he'd done what came naturally, he'd touched Luke's morning hard-on, the same thing he did every morning - unless Luke got in first.

Luke saying Noah's name though, that was a shock. An unpleasant shock, like a cold shower he wasn't expecting, and his own hard-on had shriveled away.

"Don't take it personally," Reid tells himself. Luke has amnesia. Luke thinks it's 2010. Luke doesn't remember you. _Luke doesn't even like you_.

It's that thought that hurts the most, Reid can admit. He puts the thoughts out of his mind when he gets to the front of the plane, instead focusing on finding anything he can salvage and turn into a shelter. Some sort of tarp would be ideal, but he doubts there will be anything like that on board. After all, why would there be? As Reid gets close to the cockpit, where John's body lies under a blanket, he gags at the smell. John's body is decaying in the heat of the jungle, and Reid takes off his button-down shirt and holds it over his nose and mouth, attempting to block out the stench.

There's a narrow cupboard outside the cockpit, and Reid opens it up. There's a first-aid kit on one shelf, and Reid unzips the bag. There's a few basic supplies; band-aids, bandages, aspirin, and insect repellent, and Reid grabs it. Another shelf yields spare batteries, which Reid has no use for, while another has surplus toilet paper, bathroom soap, and toiletry kits comprising of toothbrushes and small tubes of toothpaste, which Reid puts in his carry-on with a silent thank you to whoever's listening from above. Finally, tucked away on the bottom shelf, Reid finds some rope and a couple of shiny, orange-colored sheets. Reid pulls one out: _Heatsheet: Two Person Survival Blanket._

Reid unfolds one, and it's sizable. It would have come in handy earlier, and Reid curses himself for not looking here yesterday. It's too late to cry about it now, though, so Reid grabs them both and heads back out of the plane. He heads for the wreckage further in the jungle. He tries to access the luggage hold but there's no possible way it can be done, so he heads inside to see what he can salvage. Their fire from last night is out, there's just a few charred remains, and Reid closes his eyes for a moment, remembering how Luke had clung him to him last night. _He was just cold_ , Reid tells himself. He doesn't feel anything for you. Reid shakes his head and heads in. He already went through the cupboards, so he knows there's no food or water to be found, but he eyes everything else, determining if it could be used to build a shelter in some way. There's nothing useful though, so he grabs whatever's not bolted down - the discarded newspaper from last night, a couple of plastic trays used to serve meals. If nothing else, they can use one of them to dig holes for latrines, and they have more toilet paper now. Reid suppresses a shudder at that thought, thinking of the luxuriously appointed bathroom in their house back in Oakdale, and wishing, not for the first time, that he was back there.

Back at camp, Luke's managed to find a few long, thin, branches, and has about a dozen of them lined up on the sand.

"How'd you do?" Luke asks.

"Good," Reid says. "Got some toiletries, and a few things. He throws a toothbrush kit at Luke, whose face lights up. Reid chuckles. "Got some soap and toilet paper too."

"What about the shelter?"

Reid pulls out the heatsheets and unfolds one. "I figure we could use this for a roof, if we can rig up some of those branches for support."

Luke nods. "Good idea."

Together, they manage to erect a basic lean-to by the camp fire, with Reid giving Luke instructions. The rope, and John's knife come in very handy.

"How do you know how to do this?"

"That book I read," Reid grunts.

"Right." Reid had told him about that yesterday, before everything had gotten weird and awkward between them.

"It's... cozy," Luke notes, as they construct the small shelter.

"The smaller the better," Reid says. "The bigger it is the harder it will be to keep warm."

Luke nods. That makes sense. He wonders if Reid's thinking about this morning, and how close they'd been then, how cozy, and warm, and about... what had happened.

As they spread the heat sheets over the shelter and secure it to the wooden frame, Luke decides to broach the subject again.

"Can we talk about this morning?" Luke asks, tentatively.

"There's nothing to talk about," Reid says, his jaw tightening.

"I think there is," Luke counters.

"You thought I was Noah," Reid says. "I'm not."

"I know that," Luke says. "I- I'm sorry, that I upset you. That wasn't my intention. But I don't remember the last four years." Luke waves a hand in the air. "I don't, and the last time I slept with someone, it was Noah, and this-"

Reid interrupts. "The last time you _remember_ sleeping with someone, it was Noah."

"Right," Luke says. "And this morning, I was still half-asleep and I forgot where I was, and what had happened to me."

Reid exhales. "I know all that," he grits out. "We don't need to go over it again. It was an honest mistake and now I'm _really_ done talking about this. I'm going to go get some water."

Reid swings up his carry-on bag, loaded with empty water bottles, and stalks off before Luke can say anything else.

"Stubborn ass," Luke mutters, sinking down onto the sand and scrubbing a hand over his face. Luke sighs. How in the heck did he marry that guy?

*

They’re sitting around the fire that night when Luke brings up the subject he’s been too scared to know more about until now. Still, he needs to know what he’s dealing with. “How long does amnesia usually last?”

“It depends,” Reid says. “Every case is different. Sometimes it lasts a few days, sometimes a few months.”

“Months!” Luke exhales sharply. Months of not remembering the last four years of his life? No. No way.

Reid pokes a stick at the fire, and opens his mouth, but doesn’t say anything.

“What?” Luke prods. “What aren’t you telling me?”

Reid looks up and meets Luke’s eyes, and there’s something in them Luke doesn’t like. “What?” Luke asks again, a chill running down his spine.

“Some people never get their memory back,” he finally says. “There are cases that stretch out for years. Decades, even.”

Luke’s eyes widen. “Never?” Luke swallows. “Is it… is that dangerous? Is there something wrong with their brains?”

Reid shakes his head. “You’re all right,” he says, reassuringly. “Even if you don’t get your memory back there’s no risk to your health. And you’ve only lost four years. In one of the most extreme cases I’ve read about, the patient lost 46 years worth of memories.”

Luke blinks. “I wish that made me feel better,” he says. “But it doesn’t.”

“How do you think I feel?” Reid snaps.

Luke swallows hard again. “I- I’m sorry,” Luke apologizes. “I know this is hard for you too.”

Reid snorts. “The last four years might not mean anything to you,” he says. “But they mean more to me than the 36 years that came before them.”

Luke shakes his head. “I’m sorry,” he says again, because he doesn’t know what else to say.

Reid stands up, tossing the stick into the fire. “I’m going for a walk.”

“It’s dark.”

“Don’t care,” he says, his voice cold. He stalks off down the beach, walking along the water’s edge, and Luke watches as he disappears into the darkness. He sighs, and clutches handfuls of his hair in his fists, squeezing his eyes closed against frustrated tears that are threatening to fall, and tries to remember something, anything, from the life he shared with Reid. If he could just remember one thing, just one memory, he knows it would help. It would help Reid, and it would stop the pit of fear he can feel opening up underneath him, just waiting to drag him down. He's terrified at the thought of never getting his memory back, of there being four years of his life he'll never be able to account for.

Luke concentrates, willing his brain to give him even one memory. He tries to picture Dallas, and his first kiss with Reid, he tries to picture them being at Yo’s with Noah and Richard, he tries to picture any of the things Reid’s told him about, but there’s nothing. Luke growls in frustration, slapping his hands hard against the ground, and watching as the sand flies up.

Luke used to drink to forget the things that were going on in his life. He used to drink to forget about his parents' endless marriage troubles, and then he drank to forget about his own problems with Noah. They had so many problems. But drinking never did help. When he’d sober up, the problems were still there, except they were worse than ever. He used to drink to forget, but now all he wants to do is remember.

Sometimes, Luke looks up from whatever he’s doing and he catches Reid staring at him, his face a mix of sadness and longing before he turns away abruptly, and it always unnerves him. Reid’s mourning for his husband, for the Luke who loves him, but Luke’s not that guy. He doesn’t remember any of their life together, and every time Luke sees that look on Reid’s face, his own gut twists in sadness, and a strange kind of guilt at not being able to ease Reid’s pain. He feels like an imposter. An intruder in Reid's husband's body. He wishes he could remember.

*

Reid walks quickly down the beach. It’s dark, but there’s enough moonlight for him to be able to walk without too much trouble. Sometimes, the weight of all the things Luke doesn’t remember gets too much and he needs to get away from him, to be alone. Reid sighs, and drops down to sit on the sand. He looks back up the beach, and sees their signal fire blazing in the distance, and their smaller camp fire further back. Reid rubs a hand over his face, sighing again.

Reid used to love being alone. He’d been alone practically his whole life before he went to Oakdale, before he met Katie, before he fell in love with Luke. He was used to it, he liked it, even. But he didn’t know what he was missing, because _not_ being alone? Being with Luke? It was ten million times better than the life he was living before Oakdale. And now he's stuck here on Amnesia freaking Island, and Reid _misses_ Luke. He misses kissing him, and the million different ways they touched each other every day. The thought of Luke not regaining his memory, of not remembering Reid, and the life they have together? It cuts Reid on a deep, primal level.

It’s true, what Reid told Luke. The last four years of his life have been the best. Better than anything that came before. When his parents died, he was twelve years old and his whole world fell apart. He went to live with Angus, who redefined the words ‘cold’ and ‘rude’. If Luke thought Reid was an ass when they first met, he’d have been shocked by Angus. Angus who didn’t care about anything except chess, and himself. Angus, who forced Reid to start playing again. He’d quit a year earlier, sick of being his parents’ trained seal, but when he went to live with Angus, the competitions started again. He saw Reid as his meal ticket, and whether Reid liked it or not, he was going to play, and play he did. He won every competition – legal or otherwise – that Angus entered him in, and when he was sixteen, and won a full ride to Harvard, he left Angus’s house without looking back. He was on his own from that day until January 19, 2010, when he walked into Memorial Hospital, met Luke Snyder, and knew he was in deep shit trouble.

Reid listens to the sound of the waves crashing, and water lapping at the shore. Sometimes the moonlight glints off a wave cap, lighting it up, and the horizon doesn’t seem so black and far away.

Reid stands and brushes sand off the seat of his pants and heads back towards camp, letting the fire guide him to Luke.

*

When Luke wakes up the next morning, he's alone in the shelter. He yawns widely, and rubs some sleep from his eye, then rolls outside and stretches. Reid's sitting by the remains of the fire, eating a banana.

"Morning," Luke says.

Reid just nods, his mouth full of fruit.

"Gimme one of those, please."

Reid tosses Luke a banana and they eat in silence for a moment. Luke still feels disconcerted after their conversation last night. Luke might _never_ get his memory back, and the thought terrifies him, but he can't help but feel sorry for Reid too. When he came back from his walk, he was calmer but quiet, and he went straight to bed. Now the air between them is strained, and Luke can't stand it.

"Tell me about some stuff," Luke says. "Maybe it'll jog my memory?"

"What kind of stuff?"

"Um... well the last thing I remember is getting on the jet on the way to Dallas," Luke says. "Tell me about the hearing."

"I won," Reid shrugs.

Luke rolls his eyes. "Gee, doc, all these details are really helping jog my memory."

Reid snorts, and rubs his eye. "When we first landed in Dallas, I took a cab to my place and you went to your hotel," he says. "I met up with you there later and we went over the details together. You helped me prepare for hours."

"I did?"

Reid nods. "I had all the facts and figures, and I knew there was nothing I could have done better or differently."

"I'm sure," Luke agrees earnestly. "You're a brilliant doctor. But what about Annie? What did you say about her?"

Reid blows out a breath, a small smile on his lips.

"What?" Luke asks, with his own smile.

"That's exactly what you wanted to know in Dallas too," Reid says. "You told me that Annie wasn't just facts and figures, that she was a person, and that that's what they'd want to hear about."

"That does sound like me," Luke grins.

Reid laughs.

"So what did you tell me?"

Reid takes a deep breath. "I told you that she had a nice smile," he says. "She did. And she always smiled when she saw me, no matter what, she lit up when she saw me."

Luke can't help his own smile forming.

"Not too many people smiled at me like that," Reid says. "Not back then."

Luke tilts his head. "They do now?"

Reid's eyes go soft. "One or two," he says warmly.

Luke's startled to find himself blushing, and he looks away, clearing his throat.

"Tell me more about Annie."

"I missed her," Reid says. "The world misses her, and they don't even know it. She was a great kid and I couldn't save her." He shakes his head. "I still miss her, sometimes."

"Reid." Luke swallows the lump in his throat. "You care," he says quietly. "That's why you're such a good doctor."

It's a big realization, an important one, and Luke's glad for it. Reid's a good guy. Luke's husband is a good guy.

Reid shrugs. "It worked, anyway," he says. "At the hearing. I was reinstated."

"I'm a good coach, huh?" Luke waggles his eyebrows, and Reid laughs.

"So what else did we do in Dallas?" Luke asks. "What _is_ there to do in Dallas anyway?"

Reid shakes his head, an amused smile on his face.

"What?" Luke asks, missing the joke, yet again.

"We went bull riding," Reid says.

"Get out!" Luke laughs. "We did not!"

"Oh, we did." Reid chuckles. "Well, mechanical bull riding."

Luke shakes his head in disbelief. "I can't even _imagine_ you doing that. It must have been my idea, right?"

"You talked me into it," Reid agrees. "It was actually pretty fun." Reid smiles. "You've talked me into doing a lot of things since then," he says. "I have to admit, it usually works out for the best."

Luke can't keep the grin off his face.

"Was this before or after you kissed me," Luke asks.

"Before," Reid says, his eyes darting from Luke's eyes down to his mouth and back again.

Luke feels a rush of heat in his gut and he pulls his lips inside his mouth to stop the ridiculous grin he feels threatening to overtake his face.

"So, do you remember anything?" Reid asks.

Luke shakes his head. "No," he says. "But thanks for telling me all that."

Reid just nods.

Later that day, Luke walks toward the waterfall. He's been collecting firewood for almost an hour, and he's worked up a sweat. He can hear the waterfall, the sound of water rushing getting louder with each step he takes, and he can practically feel how good the cool water will feel on his overheated, sticky skin. He’s looking forward to it so much he’s not really paying attention to his surroundings, so when he looks up through the trees as the pond comes into view, and sees Reid standing behind the sheet of water tumbling over the cliff above, he stops short, slapping a hand against his mouth to stop the loud gasp he can’t help but let out.

Reid doesn’t hear him though, too caught up in what he’s doing. And what he’s doing makes Luke feel even hotter than before. Reid’s jerking off. Reid’s _naked_ , and jerking off, with his eyes closed and his head tipped back. Water runs down his body, leaving slick trails behind it, and Luke can see that Reid’s panting, his chest expanding with each breath, and each stroke of his hand against the hard length in his hand. Luke swallows. Reid’s cock is thick and almost purple, it’s so hard. His pubic hair is dark with water, and his body is lean yet strong looking, his wiry muscles highlighted by the water. Reid’s fist moves quickly against his cock, his strokes speeding up, his hand blurring with the speed of his movements. Reid’s nipples stand out in hard little peaks against his chest, and the hand that’s not wrapped around his cock comes up to rub and pinch his nipples. Reid groans, loud even over the sound of the waterfall.

Luke’s own cock is hard in his pants, and he presses his palm against it, stifling a groan of his own. He wants to reach in and fish it out. He wants to stroke it in time with Reid’s strokes, but he’s also too scared to move. Reid’s fist speeds up even more, his groans getting louder, and Luke rubs his cock through his pants, his eyes riveted on Reid’s blurry hand, and then suddenly, Reid’s entire body goes stiff and tense, and he groans as come shoots out of his cock and splatters against his wet abs. Reid keeps milking his cock, more come spurting out, though with less force, and Luke’s own cock is so unbearably hard now that he doesn’t think he has a choice, he _has_ to jerk off. And then Reid’s cock is finally spent, and he rubs his come into skin, a low moan on his lips, along with one word. “Luke.”

Reid takes a deep breath and releases his spent cock. “Luke,” he says again, and brings up his trembling fingers to touch his own lips. His voice sounds so sad that Luke feels a prickle of tears behind his eyes, and he takes his hand away from his groin.

“Luke,” Reid whispers again, then steps under the waterfall and washes the come off his body. Luke turns, and runs back through the jungle toward camp, his mind whirling so fast he feels like he’s about to fall over.

*

Luke's shuffling uncomfortably at camp later that afternoon, his shoulders twitching underneath his t-shirt.

"What's wrong?" Reid asks.

"I got sunburned," Luke says, squirming a little. "I know, I know," he says, before Reid has a chance to speak. "I should have kept my shirt on, you told me."

Reid just rolls his eyes. "Show me."

Luke reluctantly takes his shirt off, wincing as the stretch hurts his burnt skin. "No 'I told you so's, please."

Reid observes Luke's red shoulders with a critical eye. "I saw some aloe vera growing a little ways in," he says, nodding toward the jungle. "Sit tight, I'll be back."

A few minutes later, Reid returns with a bunch of thick, fleshy aloe leaves, their ends dripping with juice. Reid cuts into them with the pocket knife, and drips the soothing liquid onto Luke's aching shoulders.

Luke sighs in relief.

"Feel good?" Reid asks.

Luke nods, and a moment later he feels Reid's fingers lightly brush his shoulders. He shivers a little, and Reid murmurs, "Sorry. Didn't mean to hurt you."

"You didn't," Luke whispers, feeling strangely choked up by the gentle touch. Reid's fingers rub the aloe into Luke's skin lightly, soothing the burn. Luke moans quietly, and then he feels Reid's cool breath against his neck as he blows soothingly on Luke's shoulders.

"Thanks," Luke says quietly, when Reid finishes. Reid nods and gathers up the used aloe leaves, walking back into the jungle to toss them. While he's gone, Luke readjusts his cock, willing away the hard on that developed while Reid was touching him.

Maybe Luke's body really does know something his brain doesn't remember - that he's sexually attracted to Reid. If he's honest with himself, Luke can admit there was something there between before they even went to Dallas. He vividly remembers the day Reid came over to explain about Dennis Judd. Luke has just broken up with Noah a few hours earlier, but when Reid had gotten mouthy and Luke had shoved him, there'd been a... spark. Reid had shoved him back, and Luke can admit, it felt good to experience that sort of passion. It had been a while since he and Noah had shown ardor like that. Probably not since that big fight that had led them to making love for the first time. There'd been passion then, lots of it, and when Luke and Noah had _finally_ made love after waiting so long, Luke had been giddy and almost out of his mind with happiness. It's kind of sad that Luke can't remember another time after that when things had been that good.

With Reid though, there was passion right from the start. Admittedly, not the fun kind to begin with. Reid was pissed that Luke had forced him to Oakdale with threats and blackmail, but after a while their arguments had taken on more of a flirtatious tone. Luke thinks back to that day in his house again, the way Reid's shoulders felt under Luke's hands, and the way Reid had gripped Luke's forearms firmly, his eyes blazing with fire as he panted. For a second, he'd thought Reid might even lean in and kiss him, but then he'd pulled away and left, and Luke chalked it up to his imagination.

Luke groans, his cock has grown hard again under the onslaught of memories.

Imagination? Luke's starting to suspect he was right the first time.


	3. Chapter 3

_Day four._

 

Reid's thumbing through his phone when Luke returns to camp from collecting berries.

"Whatcha doing? Did you get a signal?" Luke asks excitedly.

Reid shakes his head no. "Just looking at some pictures."

"Oh." Luke frowns. "I didn't even think to check my phone. I bet I have pictures in there too, huh?"

"A few," Reid agrees. "Your brothers and sisters, mostly."

Luke swallows. "I bet they're all grown up." Intellectually, Luke knows that they'll look different. Especially Ethan and Natalie, but he's not sure he's ready to see the proof of it just yet. "What are you looking at?"

"Pictures from our wedding."

Luke swallows. "Can I- can I see?"

"Are you sure you want to?"

Luke nods, and sits on the sand next to Reid.

Reid tilts his phone so Luke can see the picture on the screen. It's of he and Reid facing each other, kissing. It looks like they've just said their 'I do's'. They're both wearing suits, light grey for Luke, tan for Reid, and crisp white, open-collared shirts.

"We got married by the pond," Luke says softly.

"You picked it."

Luke nods. "I always wanted to get married out there. It's my favorite place in Oakdale."

"I know," Reid says, and brings up another picture. It's the two of them again, a close-up this time. Luke's looking right at the camera, grinning widely. Reid's smile barely turns up the corners of his lips, and he's not looking at the camera, he's looking at Luke, and his eyes reflect so much emotion, so much _affection_ , that Luke's mouth goes dry. The next picture is Luke and his parents. His mom's dabbing at her eyes with a handkerchief and smiling at the same time, one arm around Luke's waist. Holden's standing on Luke's other side, his arm around Luke's shoulders, and Luke feels a pang in his chest. He loves them, and misses them so much.

“They're probably mourning us right now," Luke says.

Reid clears his throat. "Don't think about it."

"How can I not think about it, Reid!"

Reid sighs, rubbing his eyes with his fingers. "I know this sucks," he says. "But we're going to get out of here soon, and back home. And until then, we need to focus on getting through each day out here, and that means not dwelling on things like that."

"How can you be so cold?" Luke asks. "Don't you have any feelings at all?"

Reid's head whips around, and he looks at Luke sharply. Luke swallows. Of course Reid has feelings. He's just seen a picture of them.

"You think I don't hate this too?" Reid asks. "Katie's probably having another breakdown, and the vultures are no doubt swooping all over Memorial, ready to take over my job."

"Katie?" Luke frowns. "Another breakdown? What are you talking about?"

Reid ignores him. "I can imagine what they're saying too, what sort of fake platitudes they're spouting. Just like last time. It's bullshit!"

"What are you talking about?"

Reid stands up, slipping his phone into his pocket. "I'm going for a walk."

"Reid!" Luke calls out, but it's too late, he's already disappeared through the jungle, and Luke's left feeling more confused than ever. He runs his hands through his hair, frustrated as hell, and wishing he had all the pieces to this puzzle, wishing he had his memory back, and wishing he knew what the hell was going on inside Reid's head. It's the secrets that he hates the most.

*

Reid stomps through the jungle, putting some distance between himself and Luke. He finds a fallen tree and sits down on it, picking at the rough bark with his fingers.

Luke's just so damn... emotional about everything. Reid hates to admit it, but he's having some _feelings_ about this whole situation himself. He hates feeling vulnerable, but sometimes, with Luke, he has to be. And he doesn't mind it so much then, because Luke _knows_ him, and loves him. But the Luke that's out here now? He doesn't know Reid, and he certainly doesn't love him. And what if he never does again? Reid can't put himself out there, he can't share all that private stuff about his accident and his recovery with a Luke who might never get his memory back. With a Luke who might not want anything to do with him once they're rescued and off this island. He shakes his head. _No_. Reid won't tell him about any of that stuff. Not now, not here. Maybe once they're rescued, and back in Oakdale, with the safety of a hospital nearby, an everlasting supply of Luke's meds, and their family and friends around...

Reid sighs, and rubs his eyes. He's tired, and he's frustrated, and he's sad. He hates that most of all. He just wants to put his arms around Luke and kiss him, and touch him, and have Luke want the same thing. But he doesn't. _And he might never again_.

"Shut up," Reid mutters.

*

 _Day five._

 

“I miss food," Reid says, throwing a shell into the fire.

“Oh God, me too,” Luke agrees, nodding his head vigorously.

Reid snorts.

“What?” Luke asks with a smile.

“I _really_ miss food,” Reid says. “I’m a big fan of food. You can't possibly miss food as much as I miss food.”

Luke eyes Reid’s slim physique skeptically. “Well you must not be too big of an eater,” he says. “You’re not carrying any extra weight.”

Reid smirks knowingly, and Luke turns away with a huff. So maybe Reid's caught Luke looking at him with his shirt off once or twice. There's no shame in that. It's not like Reid doesn't do it too.

“I have a fast metabolism,” Reid says. “I like to eat. I’d kill for some of Hank’s chili and cornbread right about now.”

“Mmm, I love Al’s chili and cornbread.”

“Sandwiches,” Reid says. “I miss sandwiches. Fresh white bread, mustard, mayo, ham, bologna…”

Luke takes over. “Lettuce, tomatoes, cheese.”

Reid moans appreciatively.

“And coffee,” Luke says.

“Mmm,” Reid groans. “Yeah, coffee.”

“Caramel lattes,” Luke teases. “Whipped cream, extra shot.”

Reid’s nose wrinkles. “I haven’t drank those in years.”

“Oh.” It’s disconcerting how often Reid corrects Luke, how many things are no longer what they used to be.

Reid breaks the awkward silence first. “Emma’s pies.”

“Huh?”

“Cherry, apple, key lime. I miss Emma’s pies,” Reid sighs. “She makes the best pies on the planet.”

Luke tilts his head to the side. “Yeah she does,” he agrees. “You’ve eaten them a lot?”

Reid’s lips twist a little, but he nods.

“Do we… do stuff?”

Reid raises one eyebrow, and runs his eyes slowly and deliberately up and down Luke’s body.

“ _Family_ stuff,” Luke huffs. “Dinners at the farm?”

“Oh,” Reid says. “Yeah we do that too.”

“You don’t strike me as the family dinner type.”

Reid shrugs. “I like food,” he says. “Emma cooks good food. Heck, great food, and I’ll put up with almost anything, including your crazy family, for a good meal.”

“Can't we get through one conversation where you don’t insult my family? Or me?”

“Where’s the fun in that?”

Luke rolls his eyes and Reid snorts in amusement. “I put up with all sorts of things since we got together, Luke. We can’t make it through one family dinner without your mother throwing some sort of snide comment my way.”

“My mom doesn’t like you?” Luke asks, perturbed by this new little factoid. Noah and his mom had always gotten along so well.

Reid shrugs. “She finally came around on our wedding day.”

“Our wedding day? But we were together for four years before that!”

“Believe me, I know,” Reid says drolly.

“So what made her finally change her mind?”

Reid looks at him for a long moment. “She said she could see how happy you were. How happy I made you, and that she couldn’t help but love anyone who made you so happy.”

Luke licks his lips, as a mix of emotions swirl inside him. He doesn’t even remember the last time he was truly happy. It was months and months ago. Before Noah’s accident, before Mason. It was probably back when he and Noah first started making love. Luke felt like their relationship was finally getting on track then. The happiness didn’t last long though. It never did. There was always some new problem or drama that would come up and then things would fall apart.

“I- I don’t remember being happy with you, Reid,” Luke says.

Reid gives a jerky nod, and looks away.

“But I wish I did.”

Reid turns back to Luke, his face a mixture of startled surprise and happiness, and Luke smiles. When Reid smiles back, Luke's stomach gives a little flip.

*

 _Day six._

 

“Okay, I’ve had enough.” Reid tosses his empty coconut aside and stands up, brushing sand off the seat of his pants.

“Enough of what?”

“Enough of coconuts, and bananas, and berries. I’m starving. I want some protein.”

“I’m hungry too, Reid,” Luke says. “But we don’t exactly have any other choice.”

“I’m going fishing,” Reid says.

“Fishing?” Luke laughs. “How? We don’t have any fishing line, or bait.”

“I’m going spear fishing,” Reid says, a look of determination etched on his face.

“Do you know difficult that is? How much skill is involved?”

“I’m a surgeon,” Reid says. “I have excellent reflexes, and I can stand still for long periods of time.”

“I don’t know…” Luke’s skeptical.

“Well we’re certainly not going to catch anything if we don’t even try,” Reid says, and disappears into the jungle.

“Where are you going?”

“To find a spear,” Reid shouts back.

Thirty minutes later, Reid’s sharpened the end of a long, thin tree branch into a sharp point with the pocket knife.

“That actually looks like it might work,” Luke says, surprised.

“Your faith in me is overwhelming,” Reid says drolly. “Really, I appreciate it.”

“Catch a fish and I’ll be impressed,” Luke counters.

“Watch and learn, Mr. Snyder,” Reid says, slipping out of his jeans and shirt and stalking into the ocean. When he’s submerged up to his waist, he stops, and holds the spear in a pose ready to strike.

“Now what?” Luke cups his hands around his mouth and shouts out.

“Now we wait,” Reid calls back.

And wait they do. Luke leans back on his elbows and watches Reid. True to his word, he’s as still as a statue, his eyes trained below the water’s surface, and the muscles in his arms flexed ready to strike. After about ten minutes or so, Luke calls out.

“Any action?”

“I see fish,” Reid calls out without moving. “But they’re a little shy. I’m waiting for them to come closer.”

Another ten minutes or so passes as Luke continues to watch. Reid hasn’t moved a muscle yet, even as the sun beats down and sweat forms on his bare torso. Luke watches as it clings to Reid’s chest and arms, highlighting the cut of his pecs and abs, and the wiry muscles in his shoulders and arms. Luke’s body responds to the picture Reid makes, and he feels his dick start to harden. He presses his palm against the bulge in his pants, enjoying the sensation for a second, then determinedly moves his hand away and forces himself to think unsexy thoughts. Just because Luke doesn’t remember being with Reid, it’s clear his dick does. Time and time again. Luke sighs, and then suddenly there’s movement, and Reid powerfully forces the spear through the water. A second later, he pulls it out of the water and waves it in the air, a decent sized fish flopping on the end as Reid whoops loudly.

Luke jumps up from the sand. “Oh my God! You actually did it!”

Reid strides through the water, heading for Luke, while the fish flops helplessly on the end of the spear.

Luke grins and throws his arms around Reid in a quick impromptu hug. Reid clears his throat, and Luke pulls away, “I can’t believe you,” Luke says. “You’re amazing!”

Reid smirks. “Told ya so,” he says smugly.

Luke shakes his head in amusement. “How are we gonna cook it?”

Reid’s lips twist in thought. “Hot coals,” he says. “I’ll gut it and you get the coals ready.”

Luke nods, and half an hour later they’re eating steaming hot fish.

“So good,” Luke says around a mouthful.

Reid’s too busy eating to speak, he just nods and moans obscenely before swallowing and licking his fingers in a way that makes Luke’s pants feel uncomfortably tight. Again.

Luke swallows, and pulls some more flesh off his half of the fish with his fingers.

“Some salt would be good,” Reid says.

Luke shrugs. “I’ll take what I can get.”

“True enough,” Reid agrees. “I’ll try and catch two fish next time.”

“Maybe I’ll catch one too.”

Reid snorts.

“What?” Luke kicks some sand in his direction. “Don’t be an ass. I could catch one!”

Reid laughs and brushes the sand off his leg. “You don’t have the patience for it,” Reid says. “You couldn’t stand still out there for five minutes, you'd scare all the fish away.”

“Bet I could,” Luke counters.

Reid’s eyes narrow, and size Luke up. “What are the stakes?”

“Fifty bucks,” Luke says.

Reid scoffs. “Fifty bucks? Out here? That’s not exactly useful.”

“But it’ll be useful when we get out of here and are back in Oakdale.”

“You’re forgetting something.”

“What?”

“We’re married,” Reid says. “Your fifty bucks is my fifty bucks anyway.”

Luke narrows his eyes. “Fine. What do you suggest instead?”

Reid holds two fingers to his lips, and makes a show of thinking.

“If you catch a fish, I’ll collect all the firewood for three whole days,” he says. “And if you don’t, you’re firewood boy instead.”

“You’re on,” Luke says, and holds out his hand so they can shake on it.

They finish up the last of the fish, and wash it down with coconut milk, then Luke heads into the jungle to look for a suitable piece of wood to make his own spear. It’s not until later, when he’s sharpening it with the knife, that he realizes he just made a bet that depended on them needing firewood for three more days out here. He wasn't even thinking of rescue. Reid catches Luke’s eye from where he’s lounging on the sand nearby, and gives Luke a lazy smile. Luke smiles back, and keeps sharpening his spear.

Luke turns out to be a hopeless fisherman. His spear either pierces the water too early, or too late, and his targeted fish swim away time after time. Reid laughs as Luke grows increasingly frustrated.

"It's not nice to laugh at your husband," Luke tells him.

Reid just grins. "You really don't remember me at all, do you?"

After almost two hours, and thirteen failed attempts at spearing a fish, Luke finally concedes defeat and tries to feel cranky at the way Reid crows over his own victory, waving around two fat fish on the end of his own spear, but he can't help but laugh at Reid's antics instead. Luke _does_ suck at catching fish. But he gets really good at collecting firewood over the next three days.

*

 _Day nine._

 

Luke yawns, rubbing at his eyes with one hand. It’s early, Luke can tell, because the light outside their shelter is still dim. Luke rolls over under the blanket covering him, expecting to see Reid sleeping next to him, but he’s not there. Luke crawls forward and pokes his head out of the lean-to, not quite ready to get up yet, but curious about where Reid is.

Reid’s a little way down the beach, and he’s doing what looks like… yoga? He doesn’t seem the type to be into yoga, but there he is, twisting his body in a series of graceful moves. Luke watches him for a while. He’s just wearing his underwear, and Luke can’t tear his eyes away. Reid’s body moves from one pose to the next with so much fluidity and grace, it’s kind of mesmerizing. His sinewy muscles flex as he contorts his body. Who knew Reid was so… bendy? Luke swallows, his mouth suddenly feeling a little dry.

Luke watches as soft, morning sunlight begins to appear. The sun rises on the horizon and lights up the beach, casting a warm glow on Reid’s skin. He rests his head on his hand, propped up by his elbow as he watches Reid go through his movements, until finally, Reid stands, and brings his arms down from above his head, ending with them in front of his chest in a prayer pose, before he starts walking back towards their camp. Luke scrambles back inside the tent and feigns sleep, then silently chides himself for being an idiot as his heart pounds fast in his chest and the sounds of Reid preparing breakfast drift inside.

He throws off the blanket and crawls out.

“Morning,” Reid says quietly.

“Morning,” Luke answers. “Been up long?”

“Half hour or so,” Reid says. “I was doing some yoga.”

Luke feels his cheeks heat up, and he prays Reid won’t notice he’s blushing. “Yoga? Really?” Luke says. “You don’t strike me as the crunchy granola Om type.”

“I’m not,” he says. “But yoga’s great exercise, especially for a surgeon. It helps keep me loose.” Reid smirks.

Luke flushes and looks away, ignoring Reid’s quiet chuckle.

“Sleeping on the beach isn’t doing my body any favors either,” Reid continues. “Thought yoga might help me stretch out.”

Luke nods. “Did it help?”

“Yep,” Reid says. “You should do it too. I doubt your back’s faring much better than mine is.”

Luke grimaces, and reaches a hand behind him to rub his sore muscles. “Definitely not,” he agrees. “But I don’t know any yoga moves.”

“Sure you do,” Reid says. “I taught you.”

“You did?”

Reid nods. “Sometimes I come home late after a long surgery, and I’m wound up tight, yoga helps me relax.”

Luke nods.

“You- you usually wait up for me, when I’m in surgery late,” Reid says. “It’s… nice.”

Luke smiles.

“Anyway, you’d watch me, and then one night you wanted to try it yourself, so I taught you a few things. You enjoy it.”

“I do?”

Reid nods. “Hmm,” Reid says. “Let’s try something.”

“What?”

“Sometimes amnesia patients are able to perform tasks they have no memory of learning, like playing the piano, for example.”

“Really?” Luke says. “That’s kind of cool.”

“Come try some yoga,” Reid says, holding out his hand to pull Luke up. “See if you know how to do it.”

“I don’t know, Reid,” Luke says, a little skeptical. “I don’t remember ever doing this.”

“Just watch me,” Reid says, and moves into a starting pose. Luke mimics him automatically, and Reid moves into the first movement. “Salutation pose,” Reid says, and Luke moves into the pose.

“Warrior,” Reid says, and again, Luke moves into the pose in unison with Reid.

Luke grins. “I know this!”

Reid smiles. “The human brain,” he says. “It’s pretty extraordinary.”

Luke tilts his head. “It’s like a tangled mass of grey spaghetti, right?”

Surprise shows on Reid’s face. “You remember that? The elevator at the Lakeview?”

Luke chuckles. “Feels like it was just a few weeks ago.”

Reid snorts. “Downward dog.”

They both move into the position, and Luke feels the stretch. It’s a good feeling, kind of familiar, and he experiences a little de javu.

“I- I think that’s when I first started to like you,” Luke says.

“When I did the downward dog?” Reid murmurs. “Kinky.”

Luke rolls his eyes. “No,” he says. “That day we were stuck in the elevator together. You were freaking out. You’re claustrophobic, right?”

Reid licks his lips and nods.

“The way you spoke about the brain, and the things it helps us do… walk, talk…”

“Love.”

Luke nods. “That’s when I started to like you.”

Reid sucks in a breath, and his eyes shine just a little brighter. Luke smiles shyly, then Reid begins a series of finishing poses. Luke mimics the movements, enjoying the way his body seems to know just which way to bend and move. He wonders what else he knows how to do that he doesn’t remember.

*

Time is strange out here. Some days feel like they last a week, and others go by in a flash. There’s nothing to do except survive. And so, their day is divided into tasks; collect firewood, keep the signal fire going, gather food and water, fishing for Reid, cooking and eating. Sometimes they swim, and sometimes they exercise, but mostly, their days are lazy, and they both spend a lot of time napping out of sheer boredom.

Reid’s iPod survived the crash, and provides a temporary reprieve, but after a week, the battery’s dead and they have no way of recharging it. They play hang man, drawing with sticks in the compacted, wet sand by the shore, but it gets boring fast. Luke would kill for a book to read, but his ereader broke in the crash, and apparently 2014 Luke Snyder doesn't travel with paperbacks.

Reid’s often twitchy, and anxious, pacing along the beach a lot and sighing loudly. Luke remembers him telling Luke that he was nothing without his work, back in Oakdale, before their trip to Dallas.

“Do you miss surgery?” Luke asks later that afternoon, when Reid’s wearing a hole in the sand, his hand tapping nervously against his thigh.

“Of course,” Reid says.

Luke wrinkles his nose in sympathy. “I remember you telling me you hadn’t had more than a day off since med school,” Luke says. “You must be going crazy by now.”

Reid looks at Luke strangely then, his head tilted to one side.

“What?” Luke asks, self-conscious.

“I told you that a long time ago,” Reid says. “Years ago.”

“I remember it like it was last week,” Luke says deadpan, and Reid rolls his eyes.

“Your amnesia humor is not as funny as you think it is, Mr. Snyder.”

Luke grins. “So, what?” Luke asks. “You take days off now?”

“I took ten days off for our honeymoon, didn’t I?”

“I guess,” Luke says. “Did I have to talk you into that?”

“Not as hard as you’d think,” Reid says, then rubs a hand over his face. “Look,” he sighs. “Things changed. We started dating, and you know, we actually _wanted_ to spend time together, believe it or not.”

“No, no, I believe it,” Luke says quickly. “Of course we would, if we were dating.”

“You still don’t believe we dated? Or that we’re married?”

“No,” Luke shakes his head. “I mean yes, I believe it. I’m wearing the proof.” Luke holds up his left hand, flashing his wedding ring. “It just feels like… it happened to somebody else, not to me. “

Reid gives a sharp nod, and looks away, and Luke sighs. He knows he’s disappointed Reid with his answer, yet again, and he can’t even help it.

*

 _Day eleven._

 

Bored beyond belief, Reid tears up their copy of _The Intruder_ , which they’ve both read cover to cover – twice – and makes a makeshift chessboard, coloring in the black squares with a pen he fishes out of his bag. He tears up more paper to make pieces, labeling each one, and they play endless games of chess, sitting in the shade of the trees by the jungle’s edge.

There was all kinds of eye-opening stuff in the newspaper. Luke was surprisingly choked up to read about his fourth grade teacher, Mrs. Hudson, passing away, and equally choked up to read about Maddie's engagement, to some guy named Todd.

Reid mocked him, but Luke just shrugged. He figured being stranded on a desert island entitled him to be a little emotional.

There was a story about Craig Montgomery's latest failed business venture, which was on the shadier side of the law, though police were merely "investigating" at the moment and no charges had been laid yet. Luke didn't even know about the previous business failures listed, including a French perfume factory he'd apparently invested in with Luke's mother. Luke shook his head.

There were articles on a group of Oakdale University students who were holding a charity bike race to raise money for Memorial Hospital, which made Luke smile, and less savory articles, including the gossip section, which was a thinly disguised attempt at news, but was really all about airing people's dirty laundry, like which "mystery" Oakdale residents were having affairs, or getting plastic surgery. Luke could always tell who was being talked about in that section - he'd been the subject of some of the gossip himself over the years, but Luke couldn't make any sense of the items. Reid, however, knew exactly who was being talked about, and Luke was equal parts amused that his husband seemed to be such a gossip hound, and sad that life in Oakdale had changed so much in the four years Luke had forgotten, that he couldn't even recognize it anymore.

Reid turns out to be a chess shark, and Luke protests when Reid beats him in under two minutes the first time they play.

“How did you get to be so good at this?” Luke asks, both amused and annoyed.

Reid sighs. "When I was a kid I used to hang out with these old guys who played chess in Harvard Square,” he says. “They taught me a few things and I got to be pretty good.”

“Wow.”

Reid nods. “Play again?”

“Sure,” Luke agrees. “I’m not going anywhere in a hurry.”

Reid snorts, and Luke grins. It’s become their unofficial catchphrase. It’s funny, in a perverse way. Nope, they’re not going anywhere in a hurry.

“I’m going first,” Luke says, setting up the pieces again. Reid just nods and smiles in a way that lets Luke know this game’s lost before they even begin. Luke sighs, and makes his opening move anyway.

*

 _Day fourteen._

 

“So who proposed?” Luke asks Reid. “Me or you? What was it like?”

“Why do you want to know?” Red asks cautiously.

Luke shoots him a look. “Uh, because I’m curious? Duh.”

Reid opens his mouth, and then closes it again, not sure what to say. Luke senses his reticence.

“Is it embarrassing?” Luke asks. “Did you get down on one knee? Did you cry? Were there _rose petals_ , Dr. Oliver?” Luke asks, cheekily.

Reid snorts a laugh. “You seem pretty sure that I was the one doing the asking, Mr. Snyder.”

Luke shrugs amiably. “So tell me if I’m right.”

Reid pulls his lips into his mouth for a moment, studying Luke’s open face.

“Look,” he says. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but I don’t want to talk about it, okay?”

“Why not?” Luke frowns.

“Because it’s – and I can’t believe I’m about to say this it's so gag-worthy – _special_ , and Luke, _my_ Luke, he knows how it happened, and it’s just for him and me.”

Luke’s mouth wobbles slightly, and Reid can tell he’s hurt, but he tries to smile anyway, and nods his assent, then slaps his hands against his thighs and stands up, muttering something about needing the bathroom.

Reid sighs, and pinches the bridge of his nose between two fingers. He feels like a jerk, but the alternative – telling Luke about the proposal, and everything it was wrapped in, Reid’s accident and his long, painful recovery – is just not an option.

*

 _Day fifteen._

 

“I wonder what’s going on back home,” Luke says. They're idling at camp, sick of playing chess and too hot to do anything else. “I wonder how my mom’s coping? Not very well probably.”

Reid frowns. He’s pretty sure everyone’s written them off for dead by now. It’s been more than two weeks since they crashed and they haven’t spotted a single ship or plane. Reid’s sure any official search would have been called off by now, but he has no doubt Luke's family hasn’t given up on them. They have the money to keep a search-and-rescue mission going indefinitely, and even if they've written them of as dead too, Reid’s sure they'd want their bodies found and returned home.

Luke is telling Reid how Holden had once been presumed dead, killed in Kentucky, and how Lily had fallen apart and become basically useless. Reid's pretty sure she'll be equally useless now, but he has faith in Lucinda. That tough old broad won't have given up on them just yet.

“When we thought my dad was dead,” Luke continues. “She was a wreck. I moved back in to help out with the kids because she was a total mess.” Luke lets out a sharp breath.

“She has your dad to lean on this time,” Reid says, trying to be reassuring.

“And the kids,” Luke says, ignoring him. “Poor little Ethan and Natalie. They must think I’m dead. And… and you too. They’d be mourning you too, Reid. You’re their brother in-law.” Luke presses his palms to his eyes, and a moment later he hears Luke sniff.

Reid can handle almost anything, but he hates it when Luke cries. He moves over to sit next to Luke, and places an arm around his shoulders. To his surprise, Luke leans into him, burying his face in Reid’s neck and wrapping his arms around Reid in a sideways hug. Luke must be feeling really crummy for him to react like this. Reid sighs. Luke's already taken half of his meds. They both thought they'd be rescued days ago, but they're still here, and the clock is ticking. Fifteen pills left.

“Hey,” Reid soothes. “Come on now, it’s all right. You can’t think like that. We’re okay, we’re alive, and we’re going to get out of here soon, and get back home safe and sound.”

Luke’s clinging to him pretty hard, and still hasn’t taken his face away from Reid’s neck. “Okay?” Reid says again, gently.

Luke exhales shakily and nods, his soft hair brushing the underside of Reid’s chin. Luke sniffs again, and Reid drops a kiss on the crown of his head, wishing that Luke wasn’t so upset, but enjoying the feeling of holding him so close without needing the excuse of huddling together at night for warmth. He’s missed it more than he even knew.

*

 _Day sixteen._

 

Luke joins Reid for yoga again the next morning. He's feeling in need of some centering and calming after yesterday's emotional breakdown. They perform a series of moves together, and Luke focuses on his breathing. He pictures the air as a blue cloud going in his mouth and down into his lungs until it fills every corner, then expelling it slowly with each exhalation. He used to do breathing exercises like this to try and control his alcohol cravings, and sometimes it worked, and sometimes it didn't. He feels pretty good now though. That might have something to do with the view, Luke decides.

Reid's wearing just his black boxer briefs, as usual, miles of his tanned, taut flesh on full display as he contorts his body, and holds his poses steady.

Luke takes another steadying breath, and focuses on not getting an erection. He's grateful Reid's standing next to him, instead of in front of him, because he'd have no way of hiding the fact his focus is failing. He discreetly readjusts himself as they move into a new pose, and if Reid thinks it's weird Luke mutters something about a swim and dashes into the cold ocean as soon as they're done, he doesn't say anything about it.

"Sixteen days," Luke says glumly later that day. "We've been here sixteen days."

Reid swallows, and nods. It's a long time. Too long. "Oh hey," he says, calculating the math. "Happy Thanksgiving."

"It's Thanksgiving today?"

Reid nods.

"Happy Thanksgiving to you too," Luke says politely.

Reid snickers. "Well yes, we _do_ have so much to be thankful for," he says sarcastically.

Luke shrugs. "We're alive, aren't we? There's always that."

"True enough," Reid agrees. "We're supposed to be having dinner at the farm today," he says. "I think I'd actually kill someone for turkey and pie right about now."

"Well, I'm the only someone around," Luke says. "And killing me won't get you pie so, hands off."

Reid chuckles.

"Do we usually go to the farm for Thanksgiving?" Luke asks. "Together?"

"Usually," Reid says.

"Ah," Luke says, waggling his index finger. "But have you tamed the mighty Hubbard Squash? It's a Snyder male bonding tradition of the ages. Grandma Emma must have offered you the cutting honors our first Thanksgiving together?"

"Uh, no," Reid says. "I cut it the second year though."

"Macho," Luke says, waggling his eyebrows.

Reid smiles weakly, and turns away, digging into a coconut with his pocket knife just to give himself something to do. Luke and Reid's first Thanksgiving together was spent in the hospital. Reid was still recovering from his latest surgery, and his hand was too weak to cut his own turkey, let alone saw through a squash. He wasn't entirely convinced he'd ever be able to saw through a skull again at that point, and when Luke had had to cut up his meat for him, he'd snapped that he wasn't a baby and could Luke stop trying to mother him, it was insulting.

The whole room had gone silent then, and seeing the look on Luke's face made him feel like the world's biggest asshole.

"Sorry," Reid had muttered. "I apologize to you all. That was out of line."

"That's all right, dear," Emma had said, smiling kindly. "We know this is a difficult time for you."

Reid had just nodded, his jaw tight, and the Snyders who had gathered in his hospital room, bringing their Thanksgiving dinner there to share with Luke and Reid, had all gone back to eating and chatting quietly to each other.

Luke hadn't moved though, still staring down at his lap from where he was perched on Reid's hospital bed so they could share the tray.

"Hey," Reid had said quietly. "Look at me."

Luke's face was a mess of emotions, his eyes shiny with unshed tears, and his mouth wobbling.

"I'm an ass," Reid said quietly. "I didn't mean any of that. I'm sorry."

Luke swallowed and gave an almost imperceptible nod.

"I mean it," he said seriously, needing Luke to believe him. "I- I can't use a knife at the moment. I _do_ need your help to cut my meat, and that makes me feel like crap, like a useless kid."

"Reid." Luke frowned.

"But I shouldn't take my frustration out on you," Reid continued. "I'm a jackass."

"But you're my jackass," Luke had said, a small smile lifting on his face.

Reid had breathed a sigh of relief, and Luke had finished cutting up his turkey for him, and they'd finished eating dinner together, Reid's weak left hand clasped in Luke's the entire time.

After everyone had gone home, and it was just Luke's mother left in the room, she'd smiled stiffly and wished him a happy Thanksgiving. "Walk me out?" Lily had asked Luke.

"Sure. I'll be right back," Luke had said, smacking a kiss against Reid's cheek.

They hadn't gone far though, when Lily started. "Luke, baby, that man is not good for you."

Reid raised one eyebrow, wondering if they realized he could hear them.

"Mom," Luke said. "Please don't start this again. Not today."

 _Again?_

"Baby," Lily said condescendingly. "He's a difficult man. Even more so now than he was before the accident. Is he really the sort of person you want to... saddle yourself to? His recovery will be so long and difficult. You're so young, baby! You shouldn't feel obligated to take on this burden."

Reid had swallowed nervously. Although Lily was way out of line, she was asking the sorts of questions Reid had asked himself. Luke _was_ young, and Reid was difficult. Luke deserved better than a broken boyfriend who was a burden. Hell, they hadn't even made love yet, and Reid didn't know when he'd be well enough for that. Lily was right. Luke _did_ deserve better.

But Luke had laughed. "It's not a burden, Mom! I don't feel _obligated_ ," he'd said incredulously. "I love Reid. I want to be there for him."

"But honey-"

"No buts," Luke had said firmly. "Mom, I'm serious about this. If you can't support my relationship with Reid, well... Mom, just please don't make me choose. Because Reid needs me right now, and if I had to choose..."

"You would choose that man over your own mother?" Lily had hissed.

"I don't want to have to make that choice, Mom. Please don't make me."

There had been silence for a long moment then. Then Lily said, "Fine, I- I'll stay out of it. As long as you know what you're doing."

"I do," Luke had said sincerely. "I love you, Mom. And I love Reid, and he loves me too. Trust me."

"It's not you I don't trust, baby."

"Mom!" Luke had said exasperatedly.

"Okay, okay. I love you too, baby. I'll talk to you later."

"Bye, mom."

Lily hadn't tried anything like that again, as far as Reid knew, but she'd always been stiff and formal with him over the years, and it wasn't until their wedding day that the ice had thawed.

"Reid?"

Reid was still caught up in the memories, and didn't realize he'd carved far too big a hole in the top of the coconut.

"Reid?"

"Huh?" Reid looks up at Luke, who nods down at the coconut in amusement. The water inside is trickling out onto the sand, and Reid shakes his head. "Sorry, just thinking about stuff."

"Good stuff?" Luke asks.

Reid just shrugs.

*

 _Day twenty-one._

 

Luke knows it's wrong. He knows he shouldn't be sneaking around like this, but he does it anyway, his heart kick hammering in his chest the whole time.

Luke had just rolled out of bed a few minutes earlier, when Reid had picked up his soap and told Luke he was headed for the waterfall to bathe. Luke had nodded disinterestedly, but once Reid was out of sight, he'd scrambled to his feet, and followed behind at a discreet pace.

Luke peers around the base of a tree, doing his best to stay hidden while getting a good view of Reid at the same time. Reid's naked by the waterfall, standing in water that comes up to his knees and rubbing soap lather onto his arms and chest. he soaps up his underarms and then bends at the waist to wash his legs and feet too. His skin is bronzed brown from the sun now. Luke's is too. Sunburn only lasts so long before it becomes a tan, and it's so hot out here that it's pointless for them to wear clothes most of the time, and they usually walk around in just their underwear during the day, before getting back into their clothes when the weather cools down at night. Luke figures he'll worry about skin cancer later, if and when they get out of here alive.

Luke swallows hard. He's followed Reid out here every day for a week, watching as Reid washes his body, and his hair, and sometimes jerks off. It's wrong, and he knows that, especially when he slides his hand inside his own underwear, and beats off in time with Reid, but he's become addicted to the sight of Reid in orgasm, the way his body stiffens just before he comes, and then jerks with shudders afterwards. It makes Luke hard, and he has to muffle his own cries against his forearm when he climaxes. He always feels guilty afterwards, but it doesn't stop him.

Reid soaps up his hair, his fingers vigorously working the lather through, then he rinses off under the sheet of falling water. Clean now, with his hair slicked back and dark with moisture, he lets his fingers skim along his cock, which starts to harden. Luke takes a step closer, and a twig snaps under his feet. He sucks in a breath, and darts behind the trunk when Reid's head snaps around, and he looks in Luke's direction. Luke flattens his back against the tree trunk, his heart hammering hard in his chest and his palms suddenly sweaty. A moment later, he peers around again. Reid's turned to the side, and he has his hand wrapped around his cock now, stroking it in firm pulls. His head is tilted back, and Luke takes a moment to admire his long neck, and the line of his nose. His jaw line isn't visible, covered by the beard they've both been forced to grow, and Luke closes his eyes for a moment, picturing it from memory. He unsnaps his jeans and slides his hands into his boxers, wrapping his fingers around his hard cock. Under the waterfall, Reid's still jerking himself steadily, his other hand roaming across his chest, stopping to tug a nipple, then dip into his bellybutton before pinching his other nipple.

Luke mimics the movements, tugging his own nipples under his t-shirt. He groans softly, it feels good, and he takes his hand away and puts it against the tree trunk instead, steadying himself while he widens his stance and picks up speed on his cock.

His eyes dart all over Reid's body, drinking him in, and he tugs himself faster, whining in the back of his throat as he chases his climax. A second later, he shudders, shooting his come all over the tree trunk, and shivering through the aftershocks.

He tucks himself away, and watches as Reid shoots against his belly, his moan barely perceptible above the rushing sound of the water. As Reid rinses himself off, Luke turns away, heading back to the beach.

He doesn't know what he's ashamed of exactly, watching Reid without his permission, or jerking off. As Reid's husband, Luke figures he's entitled to do both, but it doesn't stop the guilt from gnawing away inside his stomach, wishing he could be the husband Reid wants him to be, the husband that remembers him and the life they had together.


	4. Chapter 4

Reid’s out swimming one afternoon while Luke sits at camp cracking coconuts against a rock. Reid’s a great fisherman but he doesn’t like doing any grunt work, claiming his delicate surgeon’s hands aren’t meant for manual labor. Really, Luke thinks he just gets a kick out of watching Luke do it, if the lecherous look on his face whenever Luke’s doing anything physically demanding is any indication. Given Luke's own somewhat... voyeuristic tendencies, he can't blame Reid. And really, what's not to like? The way Reid just _looks_ at him practically makes his toes curl, Luke thinks he might actually explode if Reid ever made good on any of his sexual innuendo.

Luke wonders about it though. He wonders what it would be like to have sex with Reid, to feel his body moving against Luke's. He wonders what it would be like to kiss him, and suck his cock, and feel it inside him. He wonders about all those things, but he's not sure he's ready to find out, unsure what he'd do with those answers, so he watches Reid in the waterfall and he hides behind the safety of the trees, and he keeps his secret. If Reid's allowed to have secrets, Luke figures he is too.

Luke stands up and stretches, tilting his head from side-to-side. Luke likes to swim too, but he prefers the pond to the ocean. Reid though, likes the challenge of swimming in the surf, pushing against the powerful force of the ocean’s waves. He strolls towards the water and sees Reid swimming a few hundred yards out, his strong arms moving in a steady rhythm, and can’t help but smile. He stretches his arms up above his head, working out the kinks from being hunched over his pile of coconuts, and keeps one eye on Reid and one for signs of life on the horizon. But just like the day before, and the day before that, there’s nothing. They’re the only two people for miles. Luke sighs.

Suddenly, his eyes flicker to the right, in the distance just behind Reid, and he sees movement. Luke holds a hand above his head, shielding his eyes from the brightness of the sun and squints, trying to figure out what it is he’s seeing, and when he does, his entire body turns cold.

“Reid!” Luke shouts as loud as he can. “Reid!” Luke waves his arms in the air above his head, and shouts again. “Reid! Shark!”

Reid keeps swimming, oblivious to the danger, and Luke runs into the water until he’s up to his waist, cupping his hands around his mouth and screaming Reid’s name. Reid stops swimming, and his head pops up out of the water. Luke waves again, and Reid waves back and smiles. Luke groans in frustration, and points behind Reid. “Shark!”

Reid’s head tilts to the side, and he frowns as he treads water. Luke screams again. “Shark!”

Reid’s head whips around behind him, and he spots the fin hovering out of the water, and then dives forward and starts swimming back to shore as fast as he can.

“Hurry!” Luke shouts. “Hurry, Reid!” Luke’s heart is pounding so hard it hurts his chest, and he can barely breathe as he watches Reid swimming toward him. The shark is following close behind, and Luke swallows hard, his hands shaking as he watches helplessly. “Reid!” Luke calls out again, but his voice cracks on the word, and he holds a hand up to his mouth, his eyes trained on Reid’s form. The shark looks close, too close, and Luke’s terrified Reid’s body is going to disappear at any moment. The idea of seeing that petrifies him, but he’s too scared to look away, so he keep watching, his heart hammering in his chest as Reid gets closer and closer, the shark on his tail the entire time.

He’s only about 30 yards away and still swimming at full speed when Luke sees the shark stop advancing. It’s fin makes a wide circle in the water, and as Reid gets closer to shore, close enough that Luke can run in and help pull him out, the shark turns and swims back out to deeper water as Luke pulls Reid toward the safety of shore where he collapses onto his knees, his hands flat on the sand as he pants, trying to suck more air into his lungs.

Adrenaline is surging through Luke's veins. “God,” he says, his voice cracking again. “I was so scared! I thought I was going to lose you!” Luke falls to his knees beside Reid and wraps his arms around him. Reid hugs him back, his chest heaving with every breath he takes, as his overworked lungs try and get enough air into his body.

“I thought I was going to lose you,” Luke mumbles into Reid’s neck. The fear that had overtaken Luke at the thought of something happening to Reid was so intense it was like a punch in the gut. He pulls back to look at Reid’s face. He’s still panting, and Luke brushes the wet hair back off his forehead, the joy of seeing his face, of seeing Reid alive and safe is so overwhelming, it’s matched only by the overwhelming fear he had at the idea of losing Reid, of being left out here alone. “I don’t know what I’d do if you weren’t here,” Luke says, closing his eyes against the sudden sting of tears. “Please don’t leave me,” Luke whispers. “Please.”

“Never,” Reid says fiercely, his thumb brushing across Luke’s cheekbone. “You don’t have to worry about that, Mr. Snyder,” he says. “I’m not going anywhere. I promise.”

Luke can’t help the sob that escapes, and he leans forward and presses his lips against Reid’s.

Reid cups Luke’s face between his palms and pulls away from his lips, his eyes searching Luke’s.

“I was so scared,” Luke whispers.

“Me too,” Reid whispers back. “But I’m okay.”

Luke nods and closes his eyes, pressing his lips back to Reid’s, and after a moment, Reid kisses him back gently. But Luke’s suddenly ravenous for more, and he deepens the kiss, slipping his tongue inside Reid’s mouth. Reid groans, and Luke tastes salt water, and underneath that, _Reid_. Luke licks and nips at Reid’s mouth, unable to get enough, and he strokes his tongue across Reid’s, lets his tongue trace the shape of Reid’s teeth and lick at the roof of his mouth. Luke falls onto his back and drags Reid down with him, unable to stop kissing him. Luke’s hands are fisted into Reid’s hair, and his heart is still beating wildly.

Reid’s saying something but Luke’s not sure what, he can’t hear anything over the thundering of his own heart and the white noise in his head. Luke moans into Reid’s kisses, out of breath and practically sick with fear, and then he hears what Reid’s saying.

“Luke,” Reid whispers. “It’s okay.”

Luke’s head falls back to the sand and he blinks up at Reid who’s looking down at him with soft eyes. “It’s okay, Luke,” he repeats. “I’m okay.”

Luke squeezes his eyes closed again and pulls Reid down to lie against him. “I'm okay,” Reid mumbles from where his head rests against Luke’s chest. “I'm okay.”

Luke takes a shuddering breath, and strokes his hands up and down Reid’s back, slick from the ocean, his flesh firm and smooth, his body alive under Luke's hands.

They lie there for a long time, as Luke keeps the tears at bay, his heart thudding hard, but no longer out of fear.

*

They sit close to each other by the fire that night. Luke’s afraid for Reid to be out of his sight, so he hasn’t strayed more than ten feet from him since the scare earlier in the afternoon.

He watches as Reid fusses with the fire, stoking it up, and muttering about how hungry he is. He hadn’t gone in to catch fish after the incident. Luke wouldn’t let him anyway, so he’s had to settle for bananas and berries for dinner.

“Eat,” Reid urges him, but Luke just shakes his head. His appetite disappeared hours ago, and he’s still a little shaky and feeling sick to his stomach whenever he thinks about what might have happened. He can’t stop looking at Reid, drinking in the sight of his face and his body, the way his fingers hold his food, the way his lips wrap around the bananas, and the way his tongue darts out to lick up stray drops of juice from the berries off his fingers, relieved beyond belief that Reid’s still alive and here for Luke to look at. He's beautiful.

“I’m okay,” Reid says. “You don’t have to stare, I’m not going anywhere.”

“I- I know that,” Luke says.

Reid rolls his eyes but he wipes his hands on his pants and wraps one arm around Luke’s shoulders, and they sit and watch the fire in comfortable silence for a while. The fire crackles and spits as the wood burns. Luke’s exhausted, yet energized, his body humming with adrenaline and nerves, and he rests his forehead against Reid’s neck, cuddling into the safety of his arms.

Luke tilts his face up, and his nose touches the underside of Reid’s chin. His beard is soft, and Luke noses at it.

Reid smiles down at him and lifts a hand, thumbing at Luke’s chin, also covered with scruff.

“It’ll be nice to be able to shave again, huh?” Reid says.

Luke shrugs. “I guess.” He tugs at one of Reid’s curls. “I’m getting used to you looking like this.”

Reid groans. “I look like a bum,” he says. “Or a hippie.”

Luke chuckles. He kind of does. His hair’s longer than Luke ever remembers seeing it, curls springing up and out in all directions. It’s ridiculously adorable, and Luke can easily imagine what Reid looked like as a kid, all skinny legs and a head full of curls. He hides his smile in Reid’s neck.

Luke pulls back and nods seriously. “I wouldn’t trust you to cut into my brain looking like that, Dr. Oliver,” Luke says.

Reid snorts. “You don’t exactly look like Mr. Responsibility yourself right now, Mr. Snyder.”

Luke grins. “No one cares what you look like when you’re handing out money.”

Reid snorts again. “True.”

"Maybe I'll keep the beard," Luke says. "Even after we get out of here."

Reid grimaces, and Luke laughs, cuddling back against Reid. He rests his palm over Reid’s heart. It beats strong and steady, and Luke lets it soothe him, his overwrought nerves finally calming down. They sit like that for a long time, and then Reid pulls away.

“It’s been a long day,” he says. “Let’s go to bed.”

Luke nods and stands up, but he stops Reid from walking away with a hand on his wrist.

“Wait,” he says.

Reid tilts his head questioningly.

“You know I was scared today.”

Reid’s face softens, and he opens his mouth, but Luke stops him from speaking with a finger against his lips. Reid’s eyebrows shoot up.

“I was scared of lots of things,” Luke continues. “Scared that you’d get hurt or… or worse.” Luke licks his lips. “I was scared I’d be left here all alone, and I don’t know how I’d cope. I don’t think I could do it without you.”

“Sure you could, Luke,” Reid says gently, cupping Luke’s cheek in his palm. “You’re the strongest person I know.”

Luke huffs out a laugh. He doesn’t feel very strong. He wishes he knew the Luke Reid knows.

He shakes his head. “The thing that scared me the most though,” Luke says. “Was that you’d be gone and I’d never get the chance to do this.”

Luke takes a step forward, bringing his body flush against Reid’s, and he looks into Reid’s eyes, and then down at his lips, slightly parted and glowing in the firelight. Luke closes the gap and presses their mouths together. He licks gently at the seam of Reid’s mouth until he opens up, and then slips his tongue inside. The kiss is soft, and sweet, and Luke sighs into Reid’s mouth. When it ends, Luke pulls back and rests his forehead against Reid’s. Reid tucks a strand of Luke’s hair behind his ear, and presses a kiss to Luke’s cheek.

“I want to be with you, Reid,” Luke says. “I want to make love.”

Reid pulls back sharply, his eyes intense.

“What?” Luke asks.

“You- that’s what you said the first time we did it,” Reid says. “The exact words. Do you remember?”

Luke searches his mind, then gently shakes his head no. “I don’t remember,” he says. “But, Reid, I’m still me. I’m still Luke, _your_ Luke.”

Reid swallows. “You want to be with me?”

Luke nods.

“Are you sure?”

Luke studies Reid’s face, sees the hunger in his eyes, and it sends a thrill down his spine. “I’m very sure.”

Reid swoops in then, kissing Luke hard and fast, and Luke groans, wrapping his arms tightly around Reid and pressing their bodies close together. Reid kisses him deeply, fiercely, and Luke’s cock starts to throb. Reid’s answering erection presses against Luke’s hip, and Luke gasps, pulling his mouth away to suck in air as Reid’s lips move to his neck, kissing and sucking him there, while his hands reach for Luke’s ass, pressing their hips flush. Luke whimpers, humping against Reid, while his mouth does wondrous things to Luke’s neck.

Luke’s hands scrabble at Reid’s back, and he pushes Reid’s shirt up, seeking flesh. Reid pulls away and rips his shirt up and off, exposing his torso, and he grabs at the hem of Luke’s t-shirt, yanking it up too. Reid strokes across Luke’s chest, running his palms over Luke’s pecs, and abs, and clutching handfuls of Luke’s chest hair and tugging it firmly while his mouth moves lower to tongue at Luke’s nipples.

Luke groans, and grabs a fistful of Reid’s hair, holding him against Luke’s chest. His cock is so hard it’s starting to hurt, and he unbuttons his jeans with his other hand, sliding them down and stepping out of them.

Reid’s hand cups the bulge in Luke’s underwear, rubbing his hard-on through the fabric before slipping inside and wrapping his fingers around Luke’s shaft. He’s already leaking pre-come, and Reid wipes it away with a fingertip, spreading it along the shaft to provide lubrication. Luke hauls Reid back up for another kiss while Reid’s fingers play along Luke’s dick.

“Off,” Luke manages to say. “Get your pants off.”

Reid obliges, and Luke finally gets to see Reid completely naked. His mouth goes dry at the sight. Reid’s _gorgeous_ , and _hung_. When Luke watched Reid before, it was always from a distance. This is the first time he's seen him up close, and his eyes widen nervously. Reid’s definitely bigger than Noah, and Luke’s kind of… intimidated? No, scared. He’s kind of scared.

“Uh, you’re big.”

Reid snorts. “Don’t worry,” he says. “It’ll fit.”

Luke’s suddenly overcome with nerves. “I- I’ve never. I’ve only done this with Noah…” Luke takes a step backwards, his eyes glued to Reid’s sizable erection.

“Hey,” Reid’s voice is firm, yet surprisingly gentle. “We’ve done this before, Luke,” he says. “ _Lots_ of times.”

Luke swallows, and drags his eyes away from Reid’s big cock and back up to his face. Reid holds his hands up in a non-threatening pose, a crooked smile on his face. “It’ll be good,” he says. “Trust me.”

Luke bites his lip, and gives a jerky nod, and Reid comes closer, resting his hands on Luke’s shoulders and looking him in the eyes. “Do you still want to do this?”

Luke nods. He does want this. He wants Reid. “I’m nervous.”

“I know,” Reid says. “You were nervous our first time too.”

“I was?” Luke whispers.

Reid smiles. “You were shaking,” he says. “Like you are now.”

On cue, a shiver runs through Luke’s body, and Reid rubs his hands down Luke’s arms, rubbing gently.

“I’ll tell you a secret,” Reid says.

“What?” Luke’s eyes are wide.

“I was nervous too,” Reid says.

“You were?”

Reid nods. “I’d been with guys before,” he says. “But no one I really cared about. Not like you.”

Luke’s heart is beating fast and his skin feels hot and cold all at once, and Reid’s looking at him with so much in his face – tenderness, desire, love – it’s overwhelming.

Luke lets himself fall into it headfirst, his lips meet Reid’s, and Reid’s tight, lean body presses against him. Reid’s mouth is everywhere at once, on Luke’s mouth, his cheeks, his neck, and his hands roam all over Luke’s body, stroking his skin and clutching handfuls of his ass. Luke pants, his skin feels on fire from Reid’s touch, and his cock is leaking pre-come, sticky strings of it dripping from the tip. He moans as Reid sucks on his pulse point. His beard tickles, and Luke shivers, alternating between the desire to push Reid away and pull him closer at the same time.

Reid decides for him, pulling away from Luke’s body and snapping him out of his lust-crazed stupor. “Let’s lie down,” he says, and Luke nods, stumbling in the sand as he follows Reid into their shelter. Luke lies on his back on the blanket. The palm fronds they’d lined the floor of the shelter with provide some cushioning, and Luke wriggles around, trying to get comfortable while Reid digs through the outer pocket of his carry-on bag. He pulls out a tube and drops his weight down on top of Luke, lining their bodies up and beginning a slow rub that feels incredibly good.

“Whatcha get?” Luke asks, moaning as his cock rubs against Reid’s with the perfect amount of friction.

“Lube,” Reid says. “Glad I packed it in my carry-on instead of my suitcase.”

“Me too,” Luke says. “That thing’s huge, I’ll need all the help I can get.”

Reid snorts, then laughs, and Luke grins, grabbing two handfuls of Reid’s curly hair and pulling his mouth down for another kiss. He can't get enough of Reid's mouth, moaning into the kiss.

Reid hooks his arms under Luke’s thighs and pushes them back as they kiss, his fingers dancing along Luke’s flesh and making him squirm. “Ticklish,” Luke says.

Reid grins. “I know,” he says. “Lie back.”

Luke does, and Reid starts trailing kisses down his torso, laying one between each of Luke’s ribs, and making him squirm again. When he gets to Luke’s cock, he noses around it, laying two soft kisses on Luke’s balls before lapping at the head with just his tongue.

Luke groans, and Reid lazily licks it again, humming a little at the taste of Luke’s pre-come.

Luke grunts, his hips pushing up and trying to get more of his cock in Reid’s mouth. Reid huffs, and Luke feels his warm breath on his groin, then a moment later his cock is surrounded by the wet warmth of Reid’s mouth sucking him in.

Luke groans. It’s good. Really good. He can’t remember the last time he felt this good. Reid seems to know exactly what will feel the best for Luke. He alternates between long pulls on Luke’s entire shaft, and short sucks just at the head, while his fingers dance around Luke’s perineum and skitter across his hole, never quite penetrating him but making him wish they would.

Luke scrabbles his hands against the blanket underneath him, trying to get a grip on it, trying to tether himself. He feels like he could float away otherwise, and as Reid increases the speed and pressure of his hands and mouth, Luke feels his balls draw up. “Gonna come,” he gasps. Reid just keeps sucking, and a moment later, Luke floods his mouth with come, panting as Reid swallows it all down and keeps lightly sucking Luke’s cock.

Luke bats him away when the sensitivity gets too much, and Reid hauls himself up and plants a wet kiss on Luke’s mouth. Luke can taste the remnants of his orgasm in Reid’s mouth, and he swipes at it with his tongue, loving the way Reid’s lips yield to him.

“Good,” Luke whispers. “So good.”

“That was just the warm-up,” Reid says, patting Luke’s hip. “Roll over.”

“I can’t move,” Luke complains, his body limp.

Reid chuckles, and rolls Luke over, shoving Luke's knees under his body and running one finger all the way down Luke’s spine, from the back of his neck to the crack of his ass. Luke shivers, his body still experiencing aftershocks from his orgasm. Suddenly, Reid pulls Luke’s ass cheeks apart and dives in with his mouth, licking a thick, wet stripe down Luke’s crack.

Luke clenches. “Oh, God.”

Reid just lifts Luke’s ass higher, forcing Luke’s shoulders down against the ground, and starts licking again, spearing his tongue inside Luke’s ass between licks.

Luke squeezes his eyes closed. His whole body’s on fire, sweat breaking out all over as Reid does things to Luke’s ass he’s only dreamed of. Noah never did this, had clearly never wanted to, so Luke had never asked, even though he’d seen it in porn, and jerked off thinking about it more times than he can count, and now Reid’s doing it, and it feels better than Luke ever could have imagined. And Luke didn't even ask for it, Reid just dove in as though he did it all the time. He probably _does_ , Luke thinks, and groans at the thought. He keens, thrusting his ass backwards against Reid’s face, wanting his tongue even deeper.

Reid grunts, the sound muffled, and Luke cries out, turning his head, desperate to see Reid’s face buried in his ass. It’s too dark though, and all Luke can see is shadows. He presses his cheek against the blanket, lifting his hips even higher, wanting Reid to go deeper still, and he reaches underneath himself for his cock with one hand. It’s fattened up again under the onslaught of Reid’s mouth, and he tugs it a couple of times. It’s still a little damp from Reid’s mouth, and he twists his fingers around the shaft, stroking up and down.

Reid’s mouth pulls away then, and Luke makes a sound of frustration. Reid chuckles, and slaps Luke’s ass cheek hard, then rubs the sting away. Luke’s cock jerks, and he pants as Reid turns him back onto his back, trying to catch his breath as he watches Reid sit back on his heels and squeeze some lube out onto his fingers.

Luke draws his feet up, spreading his legs, and Reid watches him, his eyes dark with lust as he takes in Luke’s body, sweaty and flushed red, with his hard cock flexing against his stomach.

“There are no condoms,” Reid pants. “We gave them up years ago. We’re both clean.”

Luke blinks.

“Do you trust me?”

“With my life,” Luke says. It's true, he does. He doesn't know when or how he came to this conclusion, but as he thinks back over the last few weeks, and the way Reid's taken care of him, looked out for him, and _loved_ him, he knows it's true.

Reid nods, and presses two fingers to Luke’s hole, rubbing in circles, around and around, until Luke squirms, then Reid smirks, and presses them both inside. Luke’s loose from the rimming, and they slide in easily. Reid works them in and out a few times, then slips in a third. That’s a tighter fit, but Reid bends forward and sucks Luke’s cock head into his mouth as he plays in Luke’s hole, and Luke’s so distracted by the sweet, hot pressure, he doesn’t even notice when Reid slides in a fourth finger. After a couple more good, hard sucks, Reid pulls away, wiping the excess lube onto his cock, and sliding forward on his knees until he lines up against Luke’s hole.

Luke takes a deep breath, and bears down as Reid slides inside. He’s big, and it’s a tight fit, but Luke’s hole draws him in, clinging to him after the sweet torture of his mouth and fingers. Reid slides all the way in and then pauses, looking down at Luke’s face for signs of discomfort. “Okay?” Reid asks.

Luke can only nod, not trusting his voice, and Reid bends down and kisses him, his mouth tasting like semen and something else, something musky and earthy. It's Luke’s ass, he realizes, and Luke groans at the dirtiness of it, equal parts embarrassed and turned on, he whimpers into Reid’s mouth.

Reid pulls away and rests his palms flat on the ground, holding himself up, and pulling his cock almost all the way out of Luke's ass, then sliding back in. Luke groans. The stretch burns, and Luke’s ass has never felt so full. Reid pulls out again, and starts a steady rhythm, thrusting into Luke’s ass as chills break out on Luke’s skin. Reid’s so big, and so deep inside him, and when he changes angles, his cockhead rakes over Luke’s prostate making him cry out. It’s like a string of firecrackers are going off inside him as Reid pummels his prostate again and again.

Luke strokes his cock, ready to come again already, and Reid groans as Luke’s ass clenches around Reid’s cock.

Reid bends low then, and stares intensely into Luke’s eyes as he fucks into him. The fire burning just outside their shelter turns Reid’s skin a warm orange, and Luke studies his face in the flickering light. Reid’s eyes are so warm, and so soft, even as his cock hammers relentlessly in and out of Luke’s body, and Luke can’t tear his eyes away. There’s so much emotion in Reid’s eyes, so much love that Luke can’t deny the truth of it. Reid loves him. Reid loves him so much.

Luke whimpers, tightening his anus around Reid’s shaft and dragging him down against Luke's chest, and as Luke’s hard cock rubs in the sweat and pre-come between their bodies, and his orgasm builds, he squeezes his eyes closed, striving to reach that threshold, and then plunging over the edge with abandon, shooting and shooting between them as Reid gives a final thrust and comes deep inside Luke’s ass, groaning loudly against Luke’s ear.

Reid collapses, and Luke’s legs drop down. They lie there, trying to catch their breath, and Luke’s head is nothing but white noise. After a while, he becomes aware of the sensation of Reid’s semen running out of his hole, and he shivers, sliding a hand down to where his body is joined with Reid’s, running the pad of his finger around the rim of his hole where it still grips Reid’s thick shaft, and feeling the wetness of Reid’s jizz sliding out.

Luke closes his eyes, picturing Reid’s face before he came, and the look of adoration in his eyes. He shivers again, clutching Reid’s sweaty, heaving body against his own. He feels like he's been turned inside out, and he falls asleep, exhausted, deeply satisfied, warm, and happy.

*

Luke's dreaming. He feels warm and snug, and happy. Really happy. He's got a little morning wood, and he can feel another hard-on pressed against his ass. He moans happily, not quite ready to wake up, just enjoying the sensations for now. Soft kisses are pressed to the back of his neck and shoulders. Luke sighs, his whole body beginning to tingle, and then the hand that's resting against his chest slides lower, and grasps his erection lightly, the fingers teasing Luke's shaft.

"Reid," Luke sighs. "Feels good."

Reid’s hand tightens on Luke’s cock, and jerks it a few times. Luke turns over and blinks his eyes open. “Morning.” Luke grins.

“Morning,” Reid smiles lazily.

Luke leans in for a kiss, then pulls back and wrinkles his nose.

“I know,” Reid says. “My mouth tastes like ass. It’s not as sexy the next morning, huh?”

Luke snorts and blushes all at once, and Reid pats Luke’s bare ass under the blanket. Reid must have covered them up after Luke fell asleep last night.

“Let’s go clean up,” Reid says, rolling out of the shelter and stretching his arms up over his head. Luke licks his lips, admiring the long line of Reid’s body.

Reid bends over to fish soap and his toothbrush kit out of his bag, and Luke grabs his own, and then pulls on his clothes, grimacing at the dried come stuck to his chest hair.

At the pond, they brush their teeth and scrub their bodies clean, then meet under the waterfall to exchange lazy kisses while they jerk each other off. Reid’s deep groan when he reaches orgasm sends a shiver through Luke’s body, and he moans into Reid’s mouth while Reid’s hand jerks him through his own orgasm, milking him through aftershocks until Luke shivers, and bats his hand away from his sensitive cock.

They walk back to camp hand in hand, and Luke can’t keep the grin off his face. Reid’s happy too, Luke can tell. He walks with a relaxed gait, a smile just barely turning up the edges of his mouth, but his eyes give him away. They shine every time Luke catches his eye.

They have coconut milk and bananas for breakfast, and Luke can’t stop smiling. Reid just shakes his head, which makes Luke grin even more. They had sex together at the waterfall, and for once, Luke didn't have to feel guilty, he wasn't watching Reid from behind a tree, he was right there with him, and the sex they had last night… Luke gets goosebumps just thinking about it. Reid seemed to know exactly what Luke liked, even if Luke didn’t know it himself. The way his hands seemed to be everywhere at once, the way he’d… licked Luke’s ass. He feels a blush rising on his cheeks, and clears his throat, forcing his mind onto a new subject before he grows another erection.

Reid smirks at him, as though he knows exactly what Luke’s thinking, and Luke feels strangely reassured that Reid probably _does_ know exactly what Luke’s thinking. It feels nice to be so _known_ , even if he doesn’t remember Reid well enough to know him just as well in return. He’s getting there though, and the more he learns about Reid, the more he likes him.

“So,” Luke says. “Got any big plans today, Dr. Oliver?”

Reid quirks one eyebrow, and hums as though thinking. “Yes, Mr. Snyder,” he says. “I have surgery this morning - corpus callosotomy for an epileptic patient.”

Luke nods seriously. “Sounds very interesting.”

“Meh,” Reid says. “Pretty standard procedure, for someone of my genius.”

“Oh, of course,” Luke says. “And after surgery?”

“Rounds,” Reid says. “Duh.”

Luke snorts a laugh.

“And you, Mr. Snyder?” Reid asks, equally serious. “What are your plans?”

“Oh,” Luke waves a hand disinterestedly. “I have grant proposals to review,” he says. “Millions of dollars to give away. Same old, same old.”

Reid grins, and Luke can’t help but smile back. It feels so natural to joke around with Reid like this.

“As fun as all that sounds,” Reid says. “Maybe we should take the day off? Stay in bed all day instead.”

Luke’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise. “Stay in bed all day?”

“We don’t exactly have anywhere to be,” Reid points out.

“No, no I know,” Luke stammers.

Reid groans. “Don’t go all Victorian romance novel heroine on me again.”

Luke wrinkles his nose. “Again?”

Reid nods. “When we first started dating, you were, well, kind of a prude.”

“Reid!”

“What?” Reid throws up his hands. “You were! It took me ages to get in your pants.”

“Oh, that’s romantic,” Luke mutters.

“It’s true!” Reid insists. “Hey, you don’t remember, so you just have to trust me on this.”

“Nice,” Luke says dryly. “Using my amnesia against me.”

Reid’s lips twitch a little, and he’s clearly fighting off a smile.

“So why didn’t I want to sleep with you?” Luke asks. “What was wrong with you?”

“What was wrong with _me_? You were the one who was still hung up on Mr. Mayer.”

Luke laughs. “ _Mister_ Mayer? Oh my God, you are _so_ jealous!”

“Am not,” Reid sulks.

Luke bursts out laughing. “You’re such a baby,” Luke says.

Reid scowls, and Luke curbs his laughter. “Aww, are you okay?” Luke asks, his lips turning down in a faux pout.

Reid snorts. “Come over here,” he says, his eyes growing hot.

The laughter dies in Luke’s throat, and he swallows, shifting closer to sit by Reid.

Reid tilts Luke’s head back with a finger under Luke’s chin, and he studies Luke’s face, his eyes so blue and intense.

Luke swallows again, and Reid’s lips curl up in a gentle smile before he descends, pressing a soft kiss against Luke’s lips.

Luke sighs, and Reid rubs his nose against Luke’s gently before kissing him again.

Luke’s mouth opens up for him, and Reid’s tongue slips inside, tasting of coconut. Luke moans, sucking on Reid’s tongue as all the blood in his body seemingly rushes straight to his cock, which grows hard in his pants. Reid pulls away, and Luke pants softly. Reid brushes some spit off Luke’s lips with his finger, then sucks the digit inside his own mouth, his cheeks hollowing as he pulls it in and out.

Luke’s mouth goes completely dry, and he’s sure his lust must be written all over his face.

Reid moans obscenely, and finally pulls his finger out with a wet pop. Luke’s cock is leaking pre-come, and is already so hard it’s becoming uncomfortable trapped inside his pants.

Reid smirks, and pats Luke’s cheek. “We may have waited a while,” he says. “But believe me, it was worth waiting for.”

Luke doesn’t doubt it, and he throws himself against Reid, kissing him furiously and scrabbling at his shirt at the same time. Reid laughs against his lips, and helps get their shirts off, and then he’s falling back against the sand while Luke humps his hips down against Reid’s, desperate to get some friction on his cock.

“Stop, stop,” Reid pants, pushing Luke away.

“What? Why?” Luke blinks.

“Sand in uncomfortable places,” Reid says. “Let’s go inside.”

Luke blinks. Right. Sand in uncomfortable places. He winces, and follows Reid inside the lean-to.

Reid pushes Luke down on the blanket and helps him shimmy out of his pants, tossing them over his shoulder and diving down to lap up pre-come from Luke’s cock head.

Luke groans, his toes wriggling against the blanket as he clutches Reid’s soft hair in his hands, feeling the way his head bobs up and down as he licks and sucks Luke’s cock.

Reid pulls away and shucks his own jeans until he’s naked, and then he falls onto Luke and kisses him. Luke rolls them over until he’s on top, and he straddles Reid’s thighs, sitting up and looking down at him. He runs one finger lightly down the scar on Reid’s chest, watching as Reid shivers a little, and his nipples tighten into hard little peaks.

“Is it sensitive?” Luke asks.

Reid shakes his head. “It’s numb,” he says.

“Mine too,” Luke says, referring to his transplant scar. “But you’re shaking?” Luke asks, confused.

Reid rolls his eyes. “Because it’s you,” he whispers, his face radiating heat, and love.

Luke swallows hard, and leans down, pressing his lips to Reid’s. Reid’s eyes flutter closed, but Luke keeps his open as they kiss, watching Reid’s face. It makes his chest ache, deep inside, and he moans quietly into Reid’s mouth.

Reid reaches one arm out, blindly searching for something, and then Luke hears the snick of the tube of lube being opened, then two slick fingers probing at his hole while they kiss.

Luke gasps as Reid’s fingers breach him, and it turns into a moan when they find his prostate. Luke’s body is on fire already, and he marvels at how quickly Reid can turn him on.

Reid stretches him open, then withdraws his fingers and rubs a little lube on his hard cock, holding it up for Luke. Luke slides down it slowly, inch by inch, exhaling in a whoosh of air when it’s all the way inside him. He moans, breathing rapidly and trying to adjust to the stretch. This angle makes the penetration deep, and Luke feels full, so deliciously full, as Reid watches him, his pupils blown out black with lust. Reid reaches up and rolls Luke’s nipples between his fingers until they’re stiff, then he pinches them hard. Luke cries out, and his anus clenches around Reid’s cock. Reid pinches them again, then licks his fingers and soothes them with wet, gentle strokes before raking his fingers through Luke’s chest hair, lightly scratching him. It makes Luke's body hum.

“Ride me,” he murmurs, and settles his hands on Luke’s hips, clutching him there tightly.

Luke nods and pulls up until just the head of Reid’s cock is still inside him, then he slides back down slowly, relishing the feel of every inch. Reid humps his hips up impatiently, and Luke smirks at his eagerness, beginning a medium paced ride. The lean-to’s small, and Luke’s head touches the roof as the force of his movements increases, his hair brushing against the bright orange heatsheets he and Reid had erected all those days ago.

Reid’s fingers are clutching Luke’s hips so tightly, Luke thinks he’ll have bruises there later, and the thought of it makes him moan appreciatively. He likes the idea of being marked by Reid, of having Reid’s brand on his body. He pulls Reid’s left hand away from his hip, pressing it against his own hand so that their wedding rings clang together. It’s another brand, one that tells the world that Luke belongs to Reid, and Reid belongs to Luke, too, and the knowledge of that makes him heady. The idea that this man, this brilliant neurosurgeon, has given himself to Luke? It's a compliment, and it’s the biggest turn on Luke’s ever experienced. Luke didn't even know how much being owned was something he wanted, but he does. He craved it with Noah, but he never had it, he realizes. He never would have. He and Noah weren't right for each other, but he and Reid? Even if he doesn't remember all the details? He and Reid are.

“Luke,” Reid chants, thrusting up from below Luke. “Luke, Luke, Luke.”

Luke kisses Reid’s hand clutched in his own. His tongue darting out to lick at Reid’s wedding ring, and then he releases it, putting his hands flat on Reid’s chest and increasing the speed of his ride.

Reid grunts, digging his feet into the ground below and using it for leverage to fuck up into Luke so hard he feels it all the way in his throat.

Reid’s cock presses relentlessly against Luke’s prostate, and the stimulation is so intense Luke’s teeth ache. Sweat drips off Luke’s nose, and he tastes it on his lips, salty and hot, and he gives in to the sensations, squeezing his eyes shut and falling headlong into the abyss. His cock spurts out semen between their bodies, without anyone even touching it, and Luke cries out. He’s never come without touching his cock before, not that he can remember anyway, and he’s shocked, and amazed, shivering through the sheer goodness of his orgasm as Reid gives a final lunge and comes with a grunt, shooting wet and hot inside him.

Luke collapses onto Reid’s chest, his heart pounding a million miles an hour. He laughs a little, out of his head on endorphins, and Reid huffs from beneath him, where his own chest is heaving as he tries to catch his breath.

Reid laughs, and pats Luke’s damp back. “Best way to spend the day, for sure.”

Luke snorts, pulling his face out of Reid’s sweaty neck and looking down at him. Reid smiles, his lips just barely turning up, and his eyes glow with sated satisfaction, and affection. Luke rubs their noses together, and drops a kiss on Reid’s forehead before collapsing again. “I’m going to need another shower,” Luke groans, wriggling a little as Reid’s come drips from his ass.

“Not necessarily,” Reid says, and rolls Luke off him.

“What do you mean?” Luke asks, confused, and then Reid’s spreading his cheeks and lapping his own come away and Luke’s entire body seizes in shock, before he moans, amazed at how good it feels, and how turned on he is at the dirtiness of it, and Reid's willingness to go there.

*

Luke dutifully swallows his meds that night, trying not to outwardly show his fear at the fact there are only six pills left in the bottle.

True to his word, Reid kept Luke in bed all day. His ass is sore, and his body is humming with a kind of exhausted buzz. He's sated, but he's still hungry for more of Reid. He wonders if this is what their sex life is usually like, then quits wondering and just asks Reid. After all the things they've done today, being bashful just seems kind of silly.

"Reid?"

"Hmm?" Reid smiles lazily over the fish he's cooking. The only break they took from sex was when Reid went fishing for their dinner while Luke sat on the beach and watched, admiring Reid's graceful form.

"Is it always like this?" Luke asks. "With us?"

"Fucked out, you mean?"

"Reid!" Luke huffs. "Don't be so crass."

Reid smirks. "Kind of," he says. "We're usually both so busy with work these days we don't have time to spend all day in bed. But we've had a few all-day marathons." Reid waggles his eyebrows, and Luke shakes his head, fighting off a smile.

"And we usually do it at least once a day, barring late-night emergency surgeries."

"Once a day?" Luke's eyes widen. Sometimes, he and Noah would go weeks without touching each other, and that was when things were _good_ between them.

Reid smirks again, and Luke wonders if he knows Luke's thinking. He wonders just how much Reid knows about Luke and Noah's sex life. He shudders, it's not a subject he wants to broach right now, still riding the high from the multiple orgasms he's had today.

"Soup's up," Reid says, when the fish is cooked, and Luke picks up a piece of steaming hot fish, blowing on it before shoving it in his mouth, and sucking on his hot fingers, too hungry and impatient to wait for it to cool down.

"'M starving," Luke says, and Reid nods while scarfing down his own fish. Luke doesn't know where they found the energy for all the sex they've had that day. They've both lost a lot of weight, and their food supply is paltry, but he supposes the endorphins have something to do with it. Luke can't get enough of Reid. They've made love so many times today already, but Luke's still hungry for more, wanting as much of Reid's body under his hands as he can get.

Today was almost... idyllic. They're on a gorgeous beach, they have fresh water, and food - though never as much of it as either of them would like - and there's a certain freedom in being away from Oakdale, and the responsibilities they both have there. Luke can almost pretend they're just away on vacation, but then he remembers that his family probably thinks they're dead, and he feels guilty that he's finding pleasure in just being out here with Reid.

After dinner, they curl up by the fire and exchange soft, lingering kisses for a while. Luke sighs, and closes his eyes, resting his head on Reid's chest. Reid's fingers card through his hair, massaging Luke's scalp, and he practically purrs in contentment. "Feels good," Luke murmurs, as exhaustion starts to take over his body. His mind turns back to his meds. Six more pills. Six more days. They've been out here for more than three weeks and haven't seen or heard another human being or spotted a rescue plane or boat. Luke swallows hard. If it wasn't for his kidney, they could survive out here indefinitely, there wouldn't be a countdown hanging over their heads. But because of Luke's stupidity, because he's a drunk, and he's saddled with a transplanted kidney, Luke's days are numbered. And his number is six. Luke rubs his face against the soft cotton of Reid's shirt, willing himself not to cry. Reid deserves better than him, but Luke can't help feeling grateful he has Reid in his life anyway.

*

Luke falls asleep, and Reid keeps up the rhythmic stroking of his fingers through Luke's hair. It's soothing to them both, and Reid sighs, his mind turning over a dozen different thoughts. He'd joked with Luke earlier, about surgery and rounds, but the truth is, Reid knows exactly what he'd be doing if they were home in Oakdale. He took ten days off for their honeymoon, but he had half a dozen surgeries scheduled after his return. Twelve days ago, Reid was supposed to be placing cerebral shunts into Bill Walters' ventricles to relieve hydrocephalus. A week ago, Reid was scheduled to perform a medulloblastoma on Grace Yang, and today, he should have been cutting a tumor out of six-year-old Holly Bennet's brain.

Reid rubs a hand over his face, digging his fingers into his tired eyes. His number two at the neuro wing, Peter Gryzbowski, probably performed a few of Reid's procedures, and delegated the rest to the staff Reid had personally hand-picked when Reid and Luke were reported missing. He would have taken over Holly's case too, as one of the more complicated ones they were treating at the moment. Peter's competent, a good doctor, and if Reid can't be there to do the operation himself, Peter's the next best thing. Holly trusted Reid, though, and he wants to get up and scream and shout and shake his fists at the world at the injustice of him being stuck out here, helpless, while patients who are dying need him and his expertise.

He can't do that though. Luke shifts a little, then re-settles, his soft snores starting up. Reid presses his lips to Luke's forehead, and watches his face, relaxed and slack with sleep, in the glow from the fire. He loves Luke so much. Luke, who has six pills left in his bottle of meds. Luke, who he loves more than his own life. Luke, who needs to get off this island because his life depends on it. Angry tears spring up in Reid's eyes, but he blinks them away, refusing to let them fall.

Luke doesn't remember their life together. He doesn't remember the accident, or their wedding, or the experiences they've shared that Reid holds so close to his heart. But as he watches Luke's face, so open and trusting, even as he sleeps, Reid decides, it doesn't really matter. He loves _Luke_ , the Luke who is in his arms right now, and just maybe, this Luke could learn to love him too.

It's enough.

*

“Reid?”

“Hmm?”

“How did your parents die?”

Reid stiffens, and Luke’s head shifts a little from he’s resting with his cheek pressed against Reid’s heart. It's become Luke's favorite position to lie in, and Reid wonders if Luke somehow subconsciously knows that Reid's heart was once almost taken away. His old Luke spent a lot of time with his head resting there too, after the accident. It makes Reid's chest ache just thinking about.

“Car accident,” Reid says, reluctantly.

Luke strokes his fingers across Reid’s chest scar. “Was it the same accident that hurt you?”

Reid closes his eyes, sinking into the memory of being twelve years old, and the police coming to the door of his house to tell Reid his parents were dead. They’d gone out to dinner and left him with a babysitter, Billy Thomas, the boy next door. Billy was sixteen and had soft blond hair and beautiful brown eyes, and Reid had a huge crush on him. Billy thought Reid was just a weird, skinny kid, and mostly he just talked about boobs a lot, but he’d come over whenever Reid’s parents went out to make some easy money.

Billy had been bitching that Reid’s folks were late coming home that night, and that they’d better pay him overtime when the doorbell rang. A police woman with red hair and kind eyes had told Reid that his parents had been in an accident. They’d tried to cross a set of train tracks in front of an oncoming train and underestimated how far away the train was. It had slammed into their car. His mom died at the scene, and his dad in the ambulance on the way to hospital. He stayed with the Thomas’s that night, and didn’t even care that Billy saw him crying like a baby in Mrs. Thomas’s arms, while he looked at Reid pityingly.

He went to live with Angus the next day.

“Reid?” Luke murmurs.

Reid's mind turns to his own accident, and he thinks about being trapped in his car five miles from Bay City, how he’d frozen, memories of his parents rushing through his mind. He wondered if this was how they’d felt, if they’d been scared when they were dying, and he panicked, tugging helplessly at the seat belt, unable to pull it free, his mind trapped in the past.

“Reid?”

Reid blinks, and shakes his head. That was more than four years ago. It’s over now, and he’s alive, and healed.

“It’s okay,” Luke whispers. “It doesn't matter.”

Luke presses a kiss between his pecs, his lips lingering right at the top of the scar, before he smacks two more quick kisses against Reid's skin. It’s something he’s done a thousand times before, and it’s so _Luke_ , his Luke, that his chest tightens and he has to close his eyes against the hot tears that threaten to fall. He kisses Luke’s hair, and tugs him closer, and they don’t speak about it again.

*

Luke's on his back, his knees up around his ears, and his legs spread wide as Reid eats his ass. Luke groans, clutching a handful of Reid's curls in a death grip as Reid sucks and licks his hole, occasionally nipping the rim with his teeth before thrusting his tongue back in.

Luke whimpers, and shoves Reid's face even closer. He loves this so much. His dick is leaking strings of pre-come, and he's so turned on he can hardly stand it. His heels drum against Reid's back, and he pulls Reid closer still, while his other hand wraps around his cock, unable to wait a second longer. He jerks himself while Reid rims him, and as the pleasure mounts, coiling up his spine and spreading out through his limbs, he makes sounds he didn't even know he was capable of. Reid grunts, and shoves his tongue in even further, his hot breath like fire on Luke's ass as he works a finger in around his mouth, aided by the copious amount of spit that's dripping from his ass.

When Reid's finger presses against his prostate, Luke comes with a shout, jizz shooting so hard some of it lands on his throat, which makes Reid chuckle, even as he laps it away while Luke lays panting, black spots dancing in his vision.

"Good?" Reid asks a moment later, licking his lips.

"Nngh." Luke can't manage anything else.

Reid chuckles, then gets up on his knees and starts jerking himself off, his own cock flushed with need, neglected while he was at work on Luke.

Luke watches, unable to tear his eyes off Reid's cock, moving through Reid's tight fist so fast it looks blurry. He wants it in his mouth. He wants to wrap his lips around it again, like he had earlier that day, and taste Reid's tangy semen. He licks his lips.

Reid grunts, his hand flying on his cock, and as he reaches orgasm he aims his cock at Luke's face, and Luke moans as hot come hits his wet lips, opening his mouth up and swallowing as much as he can. Reid flops down next to him in the lean-to, swiping up stray jizz from Luke's cheek and sucking it into his mouth.

They've done it three times today, and Luke doesn't even know if he can move after this latest round.

"That was hot, Mr. Snyder," Reid pants.

"Mmm," Luke agrees. "If I'm going to die, I might as well go out with a bang!" Luke chuckles, but Reid doesn't join in, and he turns his head to the side. "What?"

"That's not funny," Reid says. "Don't even joke about it."

"I was kidding," Luke says. "Come on, it was just a joke."

Reid's face is impassive.

"I'm sorry," Luke sighs. "It was a bad joke."

Reid nods, but turns onto his back, staring stubbornly up at the roof of their shelter.

Luke sighs, and slithers on top of him, lining up their naked bodies in all the right places and forcing Reid to meet his eyes.

"I'm sorry," Luke apologizes again.

Reid gives a tiny nod. "You're not going to die, you hear me?"

"Okay," Luke agrees. "I promise."

"Good." Reid's eyes are intense, and he pulls Luke down to rest against his body, then wraps his arms and legs around Luke, anchoring him, and keeping him safe.

Luke has two pills left.

Neither of them mention it.

*

Thirty days after the crash, Luke shakes his last pill out of the bottle, and stares at it on resting on his palm. These pills keep him healthy. They stop his body from rejecting his transplanted kidney. Without these pills, Luke’s body will see the kidney as a foreign body, something that doesn’t belong inside Luke, and it will try and fight that enemy. He’s never been in a situation where he hasn’t had his meds. Well, the time he and Noah were kidnapped, but they were rescued within a couple of days. Luke closes his hand around the pill, clutching it in his fist. He feels all of fifteen years old again. Young, and stupid, and so messed up. He didn’t care if he lived or died then, not really. He cares so much now.

Reid watches him with sharp, knowing eyes from across the camp fire.

“Should I… maybe I should cut it in half?” Luke suggests. “Get two days out of it instead of one?”

Reid shakes his head. “It won’t be effective,” he says, dismissing the idea. “You might as well discount both days if you do that.”

Luke opens his fist and picks up the pill, taking a deep breath before swallowing it with a mouthful of water from his bottle.

Reid holds out his hand, and Luke scoots close and lets Reid wrap his arms around Luke, burying his head against Reid’s chest. “I’m sorry,” Luke whispers.

Reid sighs. “Shut up,” he says, so gently it sounds like ‘I love you’ instead.


	5. Chapter 5

It doesn't take long. Luke starts feeling sick two days later. At first, it's just a little uneasiness and discomfort, and he tries to laugh it off, thinking that he's just psyching himself into believing he's sick. But by the third day off his meds he knows it's more serious than that. He starts to feel nauseous and fatigued, and by day four his legs, ankles and feet are swollen with retained fluid, and he can barely stand up without feeling dizzy. Reid confines him to their shelter, sternly telling him to rest while he performs the daily tasks; collecting firewood, boiling water, fishing, and gathering coconuts and fruit.

Reid monitors him closely, fretting about his decreased urination, which stops completely on the fifth day, and doing everything he can to tempt Luke to eat; preparing fish for him, and gathering up the tiny berries Luke likes, even though they're a pain in the ass to pick, but Luke's appetite has disappeared, and he can only manage a few mouthfuls before he has to stop or risk vomiting it all back up, making his dehydration even worse.

“Reid?” Luke taps his fingers against Reid's back

“Hmm?” Reid mumbles from where his head is buried in the groove between Luke’s neck and shoulder. It turns out, Reid likes cuddling, and these days, he only leaves Luke alone when he absolutely has to, spending the rest of the time by his side - a lot of the time in moody silence. Luke doesn't have to wonder what he's thinking about, it's pretty obvious, and he hates himself for putting Reid through this.

“What’s our house like?” Luke asks.

“What?” Reid lifts his head and blinks himself awake. It's so hot, it's hard to stay awake most of the time.

“Our house,” Luke says. “Or our apartment? Where do we live? What’s it like?”

Reid sits up, crossing his legs, and Luke smiles up at him. "I want to know before I... I just want to know."

Reid clears his throat, and looks away, his eyes focusing on the waves lapping against the shore nearby. "It's nice," he says.

"Nice?" Luke scoffs. "What sort of adjective is that? I want details, Dr. Oliver."

Reid smirks, looking back down at Luke, a smile in his eyes. "It's a house," he says. "On Mayfair Avenue."

Luke hums approvingly. "Swanky neighborhood."

Reid nods. "We renovated it," he says. "New kitchen, new bathrooms, but we kept some of the original features. Restored the old fireplaces, kept the big, claw-footed bathtub."

Luke smiles dreamily. "Sounds great. How long have we lived there?"

"About two years," Reid says. "We- you lived with me at Katie's apartment for a while first," he says. "And then we bought the house."

Luke closes his eyes, and smiles at the picture of the house in his mind, thinking about the life he shares with Reid there. Luke doesn't remember it, but he knows it's a good life, a happy one. He's happy. Reid makes him happy.

"You okay?" Reid asks quietly.

Luke nods without opening his eyes. "Jus' tired," he sighs. Before he succumbs to the tempting pull of sleep, he feels Reid's lips brush across his forehead. "Sleep then, Mr. Snyder," he says softly.

*

Luke slips into dreams. He dreams that he and Reid are rescued, and he's filled with joy. He feels it suffuse through him, warm and yellow, like sunshine, starting in his chest and radiating out over his whole body. He dreams about being back in Oakdale, and seeing his family. He dreams of Faith and the baby nephew he's never seen. He dreams of his grandmothers and his brothers and sisters. He dreams of his and Reid's house, wondering what the rooms look like, and what sort of furniture they'd picked out to fill each room. He dreams of Reid, looking handsome and healthy, and smiling at Luke like he's the only thing in the world worth looking at. He dreams that they'll renew their wedding vows, by Snyder Pond. He might not remember their first wedding, but he'll remember their second one. He dreams of how Reid will look, with the sun in his hair as they pledge themselves to each other again, and he feels warm all over.

*

Reid watches Luke after he falls asleep. His color is terrible, and his body is puffy and swollen. Reid rests the back of his hand against Luke's forehead. He's feverish, and Reid frowns. Luke's been off his meds for five days and even without the facilities to run tests, Reid knows Luke is in renal failure. He can only guess at the extent of the damage to Luke's kidney, but he knows the longer they're stuck out here, the closer Luke gets to needing another transplant.

The doctor part of his brain knows what's happening. _Luke's dying_ , the voice in his head says, but the rest of him refuses to believe it. "Shut up," Reid mutters through gritted teeth as he cards through Luke's hair with trembling fingers. "Shut up."

That night, Reid spoons up close behind Luke, burying his nose in the back of Luke's neck and smelling his hair. Luke hasn't washed in days, he hasn't had the strength to walk down to the pond, but Reid doesn't care. He clings to Luke's thin frame, his hand underneath Luke's t-shirt, stroking his soft skin, feeling each rib that protrudes. He's lost even more weight over the past few days. They're both too skinny as it is, but Luke definitely couldn't afford to lose the extra weight. His heart still beats though, under Reid's palm, and Reid squeezes his eyes closed. Luke doesn't even stir, not even as hot, tears slide down Reid's cheeks, wetting the back of Luke's hair as he sleeps.

*

Luke's whole body aches. He's hot, but somehow cold at the same time. He vaguely hears noise, but it's so far away, he can't make out what it is and he tries to ignore it. Luke groans as the noise gets louder, until he can't keep his eyes closed any more, and he blinks them open with some effort.

Reid's concerned face is hovering just inches above his own. "Luke!" Reid says, relief evident in his voice. "I've been calling your name for a while." Reid swallows hard, his adam's apple bobbing. "You wouldn't wake up."

"Sorry." Luke winces, his throat feels like it's on fire, and it hurts to speak. He licks his lips. "M'okay."

Reid's eyes are wide, and terrified, and Luke weakly lifts his hand, trying to offer some comfort, but it flops uselessly back onto his stomach.

"You want some water?" Reid asks.

Luke inclines his head a little, and Reid darts out of the lean-to. Luke hears him swear under his breath, and he reappears a moment later. "We're out," he says. "I'll run and get some. I'll be right back."

"No," Luke protests. "Stay here."

Reid cups Luke's cheek in his palm, and bends down to drop a kiss on his forehead. "You need water," he says. "I'll be back before you know it."

Reid disappears before Luke can protest, and he rolls onto his side and attempts to sit up. Everything spins then, and Luke clutches his head, blinking away the black spots that dance across his vision.

His head clears a moment later, and Luke crawls out of the lean-to on his hands and knees. He's dying, he knows that. He sees it objectively, and he accepts it. He messed up when he was a teenager, and he's going to pay for it now. Reid though, he doesn't deserve this, and Luke's heart aches for him, hoping that he'll be okay after Luke's gone.

Luke crawls a few feet, his knees dragging uselessly behind him, and leaving furrows in the sand. He just needs to get to Reid before he dies. He needs to tell Reid that he loves him, because he does. He's in love with Reid. The past doesn't matter, he's in love with Reid now, and Reid deserves to know that. He takes a shuddering breath, and crawls a couple more feet, then an overwhelmingly sharp pain hits him in his side, and his last thought before everything goes black, is _Reid_.

*

Reid fills the empty plastic bottles as quickly as he can, cursing himself for not doing it earlier, and having them boiled and ready. Luke had looked like hell this morning, his breathing was shallow, and it took Reid so long to rouse him. Too long. Luke's ill, deathly ill, and the thought of it makes his fingers shake so hard he can barely screw the caps back onto the bottles. When they're full, he runs through the jungle and back to camp as fast as he can. When he's about fifty feet away, he spots a lump on the sand outside the lean-to, and he squints, trying to figure out what it is.

"Luke!" Reid sprints forward, his feet kicking up sand, and as he approaches, he sees that Luke's slumped forward on the sand, unconscious.

"Luke," Reid says, turning him onto his back. "Luke!" Reid slaps his cheek lightly, trying to wake him up. "Luke," he calls again. "Luke, wake up."

But Luke's not moving, so Reid grabs him from under his arms, and drags him back to the lean-to. He's always been slightly bigger than Reid - taller and broader, but now he's like a rag doll, and he's lost so much weight even his dead weight is easy to heft. _Dead weight_. "He's not dead," Reid mutters to himself, and manages to get him inside the shelter and out of the sun.

"Luke, wake up," Reid says, checking his pulse. It's erratic, and so faint he can barely feel it. Chills run down Reid's spine, and he wipes an angry hand across his eyes. "Wake up, Luke," he says. "I need you to wake up. I- I need you. I love you."

Luke's still, and unbearably quiet. "Luke!" Reid shouts. "Open your eyes, goddammit!"

Luke doesn't move, and Reid's heart squeezes painfully inside his chest. "Luke, please," he chokes out. "You can't leave me, you can't!"

He doesn't move, his face is deathly pale, and Reid chokes on a sob, clutching Luke's shirt in his fists and resting his forehead against Luke's chest. "I can't do this without you, Luke," Reid whispers. "Don't make me, because I can't. I need you. Please wake up. Please."

Reid prays to a God he stopped believing in years ago, asking for help. "Please, I'll do anything," Reid begs. "I don't care if he never remembers me, or he never loves me. I'll do whatever you want just don't take him."

Time passes. Reid doesn't know how long, and after a while, he hears a low, humming sound. He lifts his head, wiping his wet eyes on his forearm and cocks his ear. The sound is getting louder, and Reid's confused, unsure what it is. He pokes his head outside and looks around the beach. It's deserted, the way it always is, but the humming is getting louder, becoming a low rumble. Reid crawls outside and stands up. The rumble is louder, and Reid shakes his head. "No," he says. "It can't be."

Reid runs toward the water, then turns around, looking above the jungle's tree tops, and there, in the distance, coming closer by the second, is a plane. Reid can't control the sob that bursts out. Relief, incredible, overwhelming relief overcomes him, and has to bend over and catch his breath. The plane is close enough to see properly now, and the air is thick with the hum of the plane's engines.

Their signal fire is looking a little depleted. Reid hasn't stoked it today at all, too concerned with waking Luke up this morning, and then everything that followed.

He takes off in a sprint, heading toward the stockpile of firewood, and throwing as much of it on the fire as he can. It sizzles and crackles as it ignites, and slowly, the flames start to rise.

It must be a rescue plane, Reid thinks. It must. They haven't seen anyone else out here in over a month, no planes, and no boats. If someone's flying near the island, they must be looking for Luke and Reid. Still, he's seized in terror at the thought of the plane not seeing them, and he starts to run along the beach, waving his arms in the air and shouting up at the plane.

It's futile - they won't hear him, and he knows it - but he can't help it, and he shouts until his throat is hoarse. The plane passes over the island, and Reid chases it down the beach.

"Come back!" Reid yells. "Come back here!"

Reid suddenly remembers the flares they'd recovered from the plane all those days ago, and he frantically digs through Luke's carry-on bag, pulling them out and running back to the beach to release one. It produces a brilliant flash in the sky, and Reid grins, sure they must have seen it.

In the distance, the plane slowly starts to turn, sweeping in an arc and heading back toward the island. Reid can see it more clearly now, and recognizes it as a seaplane, which means it won't have any trouble landing. He closes his eyes and sends up a silent thank you, then pumps his fists in the air.

"Yes!" Reid shouts. "Come back!"

The plane makes another sweep past the beach, flying low above Reid's head. They've seen him. Reid sinks to his knees. They've seen him.

Everything happens fast then.

They stretcher Luke onto the plane, where there's a middle-aged guy with a receding hairline who introduces himself as Dr. Petersen, and a nurse on board, as well as the flight crew.

"Ms. Walsh will be pleased," the co-pilot tells Reid as they climb on board.

"Lucinda sent you?"

At the pilot's nod, Reid sighs in relief. "I knew she wouldn't give up," he says. "But what took you so long?"

"We've been looking for you in the waters close to New Zealand," he says. "But you are quite far off course."

"Just take us to the nearest major hospital," Reid says. "Luke needs a kidney transplant immediately. He's in renal failure."

"The closest city is Santiago, Doctor."

Reid thinks for a moment. "Chile?"

He nods. "You were exceptionally off course, Doctor."

Reid rubs a hand across his tired eyes and swears under his breath. "No wonder you couldn't find us," he says. "Just get us there fast. Luke doesn't- he doesn't have much time."

"But Doctor, there is no guarantee of a donor kidney being available there."

"He'll have mine," Reid says. "I was tested years ago. I'm a match."

"Very good," he nods. "What about the pilot? John Henderson? Is he with you?"

Reid rubs a hand across his eyes, then shakes his head. "He had a heart attack in the air," Reid says. "Before we crashed. His body in the wreckage but we don't have time to retrieve it right now. We need to get Luke to a hospital STAT. You'll have to come back for John later."

"All right," he agrees. "Now strap in, we're about to take off."

Once they get Luke hooked up to oxygen, IV fluids and a mega dose of anti-rejection meds, the doctor on board tries to examine Reid. "I'm fine," he snaps, batting away the doctor's hands. "Just a little dehydrated. And malnourished. If you want to help, get me some food."

Dr. Petersen raises one eyebrow at the order but sends the nurse off to get a small meal for Reid. The food is like sawdust in his mouth, but he eats it anyway. His body needs the nutrition, and he needs to be healthy for Luke.

Luke is still unconscious, his face is swollen and off-color. Reid holds his hand tightly, squeezing his cold fingers, and murmuring words quietly by his ear. _I love you. You're going to be okay. Hold on just a little while longer. Don't leave me._ The last one he whispers over and over. _Please don't leave me._

Reid's not sure how long the flight takes. He's not aware of anything except Luke, so it's almost a surprise when the nurse nudges his shoulder gently, and tells him to buckle up because they're preparing to land.

The trip to the hospital is a blur. They get off the plane and immediately into an ambulance, speeding through the crowded streets of Santiago and arriving at the Clinica Las Condes.

Reid barks orders in Spanish at the emergency staff when they arrive, grateful not only that his photographic memory makes learning foreign languages easy, but that his time in Dallas helped improve his accent. He's so overwrought he can barely choke out the words, but they seem to understand him just fine. They're both immediately prepped for surgery, and as Reid counts backwards from ten, waiting for the anesthesia to take hold, his last thought before everything goes black, is _Luke_.

*

Luke blinks awake, his eyes darting around the room. He looks down, and sees that he's in a bed, covered in white sheets and a white blanket. There's a chart clipped to the end of his bed, and the sound of beeping and humming of machines around him. He's in a hospital. _Thank God_. They were rescued. And he's alive. He tries to sit up, but a sharp pain in his side halts his movements. He carefully slips a hand down under the covers, and feels a bandage on his side. He must have had another kidney transplant. He wonders who the donor was. When he had his first transplant, no one in his immediate family was a match. His little sisters were too young to be tested then, but maybe one of them was a match now? Even with the four years he doesn't remember, Ethan's still too young.

Luke clears his throat. He wonders where Reid is, or his family, and why they're not here in his room. Before he can do anything though, a nurse bustles in and smiles, apparently surprised to see him awake.

"Buenos días!"

"Huh?"

She smiles kindly, and pats his arm as she checks his blood pressure and vitals.

"Where's Reid?" Luke asks, his throat scratchy and sore.

"Qué?"

"Reid, my husband," Luke croaks. "Where is he?"

The nurse just shrugs, and smiles again before bustling back out.

"Wait!" Luke calls after her, but she disappears. He presses a hand against his forehead. His head aches, and he's confused, and he wants Reid.

Luke takes a few deep breaths, preparing to get out of bed and find Reid himself, when a man walks in.

"Wonderful to see you awake!" He says. "My name is Dr. Petersen. You've just had another kidney transplant, but you're doing well."

Luke says. "Where's Reid?"

"Dr. Oliver is still in recovery," he says.

"Recovery? From what?"

Dr. Petersen's surprise is evident. "He donated a kidney to you," he says. "I assumed you knew he was a match?"

"I- I didn't know," Luke says. "I have amnesia. Didn't Reid tell you?"

Dr. Petersen frowns. "No he did not," he says. "He was extremely agitated when you were rescued. You were gravely ill and Dr. Oliver's only priority was getting you to hospital. You were in renal failure."

Luke swallows hard. "Where are we? Where's my family?"

"Your family is flying in as we speak," he says. "They should be here within hours. You're in Santiago, Chile, Luke."

"Where?" Luke can't make sense of anything the doctor's saying. He aches all over, and his head is killing him.

"Chile," Dr. Petersen repeats. "South America. You were rescued from a small island off the coast of here."

Luke blinks. "How? What happened?"

"Your grandmother, Ms. Walsh, has had a search party scouring the ocean for you both for weeks. I was hired to be on board to provide medical assistance for when you were found," he says. "It's a good thing we arrived when we did. You were in a bad way."

Luke nods. "I remember being sick," he says. "Reid was worried about me."

"He was frantic," Dr. Petersen agrees. "But you were rushed into surgery and you're going to be just fine. There are no rejection issues so far, and we've started to repair the damage done to your body during the renal failure."

"How long until Reid wakes up? I want to see him?"

"A few more hours," he says. "You should get some rest in the meantime."

"But I want to see him."

Dr. Petersen smiles, and pats his hand. "Get some rest, Luke. Your family will be here soon, and we'll talk more then."

Luke wants to protest, but his eyes are already drooping closed, and he sleeps.

*

A few hours later he opens his eyes again, and this time his parents, and his grandmother Lucinda are sitting in chairs by his bed talking quietly.

"Mom," Luke says, grimacing as his throat burns.

"Oh, baby!" His mom kisses his forehead and hugs him as best as she can while he's lying in bed, then his dad hugs him too. "Hello, Son," Holden says, subtly wiping a tear from his eye.

"Darling!" Lucinda chirps, smacking a kiss on his forehead, then wiping away the lipstick she left behind. "You gave us quite a scare."

"I'm sorry," Luke apologizes.

Lucinda tsks. "You have nothing to be sorry for, darling," she says. "I knew we'd find you eventually. You didn't make it easy for us though, did you, hmm?" She cups his cheek, stroking his beard. "I like this. Very rugged."

Luke can't help but smile. "Sorry, Grandmother, but you know I like to keep you on your toes."

Lucinda laughs throatily, then squeezes his hand, serious now. "We were very worried, darling."

Luke nods. "I'm so happy to see you guys."

His mom squeezes his other hand, and Luke smiles at them.

"Baby," his mom says cautiously. "Dr. Petersen told us you have amnesia."

Luke nods. "I hit my head when the plane crashed. I don't remember anything after 2010."

His mom gasps quietly, and Lucinda frowns at her before shaking Luke's hand lightly, turning his attention back to her. "It's quite all right, darling," she says reassuringly. "I'm certain your memories will return soon."

"It's been more than a month," Luke whispers.

"Pssh," Lucinda waves a hand in the air. "Don't worry about that right now," she says.

"How's Reid?" Luke asks. "Is he awake yet?"

Lucinda and his mom look at each other then, and even his dad looks away, avoiding eye contact with Luke.

"I didn't remember that he was my husband when we first crashed," Luke says. "But it doesn't matter. He looked after me, and he's- he's a good man. I- I fell in love with him."

"Oh, Luke," his mom says, biting her lip.

What's wrong?" Luke asks. No one will make eye contact with him, and he starts to feel panicky. "Where's Reid? How is he?"

"Darling, there were some post-surgery complications," Lucinda says.

"What? What happened?"

His mom and dad exchange looks, and his mom fiddles with a thread on the blanket covering Luke's bed.

"Grandmother, what happened?"

Lucinda clears her throat. "I'm sorry, dear, but he's in a coma."

"No!" Luke pushes the blanket away, and tries to get out of bed,

"Oh ho, no you don't," Lucinda says. "You're not well enough to get out of bed yet."

"Let me go! I need to see Reid!"

His dad and grandmother force him back into bed, and he's too weak to push them away. "Please, I need to see him," Luke pleads. "I- I love him. He saved my life. He gave me his kidney!"

His mom sniffles, and dabs at her eyes with a tissue. "Please, mom, dad?"

Luke tries to sit up again, and Lucinda says, "All right, that's enough. Sit back, darling. I'll arrange for a wheelchair and you can go and see Reid."

"Thank you, Grandmother," Luke breathes out.

Lucinda walks out, her heels clicking on the floor, and Luke sighs, a warring mix of emotions stirring inside him. Reid's in a coma. _Reid_.

"I'm scared," he whispers.

"Oh, baby, I know you are," Lily says, hugging him again. "We're so grateful to Reid for what he did, but maybe... maybe you should start preparing yourself ..."

"Preparing myself? Mom, God!"

"Calm down, Son," Holden says, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder. "Lily, now's not the time," he says firmly.

"I'm just trying-"

"Lily," Holden hisses, and his mom holds up her hands in the surrender pose.

Luke takes a few ragged breaths, squeezing his hands into fists.

Lucinda comes in a few minutes later with Dr. Petersen pushing a wheelchair. "Luke," he says. "You're not physically well enough to be out of bed just yet."

"I don't care," Luke says. "Take me to Reid or I swear to God I'll crawl there myself."

His grandmother arches one eyebrow at Dr. Petersen, who sighs, and wheels the chair closer to Luke's bed.

It hurts when he moves, and he tries hard to stifle a gasp of pain, but he can't.

"Baby-" Lily starts, but Luke ignores her, and grits his teeth as he gets out of the bed and into the chair with his dad's and Dr. Petersen's help.

*

His dad wheels him into Reid's room, and when he sees Reid, he can't help the sob that bursts from his chest. Reid's pale, despite his tan, and he's attached to a myriad of wires and tubes. His face is barely visible beneath the oxygen mask, and the beard that covers his chin and cheeks.

"What- how did this happen?" Luke asks Dr. Petersen.

"Dr. Oliver developed an infection after the surgery," Dr. Petersen says. "It happens, sometimes. Unfortunately, he reacted badly to the drugs which were used to treat the infection, and he slipped into a coma."

Luke shakes his head. "No."

His dad lays a hand on Luke's shoulder, and squeezes gently.

"When- when will he wake up?"

Dr. Petersen and his father exchange glances.

"Don't say if," Luke grits out. "It's not if, it's when. When will he wake up."

"I don't know, Luke," Dr. Petersen says. "We just have to play the waiting game now, I'm afraid."

Luke takes a deep breath. "I want some time alone with him now please."

Dr. Petersen nods. "Of course," he says. "But you'll need to get back to bed soon."

Luke doesn't reply, already turning his attention to Reid. He hears the door close softly behind them, and he picks up Reid's hand, bringing it up to his lips and pressing a kiss to it.

"Hey," Luke says quietly. Reid is motionless, and the only sound in the room are the machines beeping steadily, Reid's been cleaned up a little, and he's wearing a white hospital gown, but his hair is still long, flopping in overgrown curls across his forehead.

"You saved me," Luke whispers. "We're safe now, so it's time to wake up."

Reid's fingers are lax in Luke's hand, and he twines his own around them, bringing Reid's palm flush against his own. He kisses Reid's hand again, and holds it against his cheek.

"Reid, I love you, and you need to wake up now." Luke rubs his cheek against Reid's hand, and exhales a shaky breath.

Reid doesn't stir.

"Please wake up, Reid," Luke whispers the words against Reid's hand. "I love you."

Luke blinks, and then Reid suddenly looks different. He's still attached to tubes and wires, but his hair is shorter, and his face has just a hint of a five o'clock shadow.

 _Please wake up, Reid. I love you._

Luke gasps, as a flood of memories begin to pour through his mind. He moans, clutching his head as piercing pain hits him.

 _"I'm going to go to Bay City and pick up that heart. Then I'm going to bring it back here and put it in Chris Hughes' chest, where it belongs."_

 _"I love you. There I said it."_

 _"Luke, I'm sorry. His injuries are severe. They're beyond repair. It's just a matter of time before his body begins to shut down."_

Luke cries out as the memories assault him. _Reid at Memorial, his face broken and bloody, with wires and tubes covering his body. Bob telling him there was no hope. John Dixon examining Chris Hughes. Fighting with Tom and Margo about Reid's heart. Chris dying and Katie falling apart. Luke being terrified that Reid would die, and begging him not to. "Please wake up, Reid. I love you."_

Luke moans as the pain of it hits him anew. He was so scared he was going to lose Reid. Everyone told him there was no hope, and that he should give up on Reid, but he didn't. And they fought - together. Reid turned a corner, making it through the first night. His lung had collapsed in the accident, and they performed an operation to repair it. It left him with the scar under his armpit. They had to crack his chest too, leaving him with the scar down the center of his chest. He had so many internal injuries, they tried to write him off as a lost cause, but Luke insisted they not give up, and slowly, very slowly, Red started getting better.

They fought so hard, the two of them, and it was long, and it was painful, but Reid got better. And he made a full recovery. He went back to work, and he ran the neuro wing, hand-picking the best doctors in the world to work there. And they were happy, so happy together.

Luke takes a shuddering breath. It was just a few months ago when Luke proposed. Four years to the day of Reid's accident. They were watching TV when Luke clicked off the remote, and got down on one knee in the living room of their house.

 _"What are you doing?" Reid had asked, his eyes widening in unconcealed panic._

 _Luke had just grinned. He knew Reid well enough to know that a wedding was just a formality at that point. They were both in it for keeps._

 _"I love you," Luke said. "And I want you to be my husband. I want to be your husband. We've been through a lot, with the accident and everything." Luke swallowed. "And whatever else comes our way, I want us to deal with it together. Always. Will you marry me, Reid?"_

 _Reid had sighed, and rubbed a hand over his nose._

 _"Yes, yes," he said. "Get up already."_

 _Luke grinned, and punched one fist in the air. "Woohoo!"_

 _Reid had snorted. "You're an idiot, Mr. Snyder."_

 _"But I'm your idiot, Dr. Oliver."_

 _"Is that supposed to be a selling point?" Reid muttered._

 _Luke straddled Reid on the couch and leaned in, pressing their foreheads together._

 _"I love you."_

 _Reid couldn't hide his smile then._

 _"I love you, too."_

"God," Luke moans, tears running down his face as the memories wash over him. "I remember, Reid. I remember everything. Please wake up. Please, Reid. Please."

The machines beep steadily, and as Luke watches Reid's form, so lifeless and pale, he's devastated by everything he has to lose.

*

Two days pass. Luke insists on being moved into Reid's room, refusing to be separated from him, so they move his bed in there, and Luke watches over him, while his family drifts in and out of the room, sitting by his bed, holding his hand, and taking turns going back to their hotel for showers and sleep.

Luke talks to his grandma Emma, Faith and Natalie and Ethan on the phone, and they tell him they love him and miss him, and hope he comes home soon. It makes the knots in his stomach untangle just a little.

Luke goes through the days on auto pilot. He eats the food that's put in front of him, and does the tests his doctors order, making sure he'll be well enough to travel when Reid wakes up from the coma.

Doctors monitor Reid closely, tweaking his medications, upping then lowering the doses, and passing in and out of the room with grim faces.

They try to tell Luke things; Reid's about to pass the point of no return, if Reid doesn't wake up soon he risks suffering permanent brain damage. Luke doesn't listen. The doctors were wrong about Reid once before, and they're wrong again now. He knows it. He _feels_ it. Reid's going to be okay. Because if Reid's not okay... No, Luke refuses to think about that.

On the fifth night, long after his family has left for the day, and the corridor outside their room is quiet, broken only by the night nurses' occasional squeaky footsteps, Reid's hand, clasped loosely in Luke's own, twitches.

Luke sucks in a breath.

Reid's eyes move under his eyelids, and his hand twitches again.

Luke squeezes his fingers. "Reid," he murmurs. "It's me, it's Luke, wake up."

Reid's eyelids flutter, and a moment later, his eyes open, unfocused and tired, but still blue and beautiful, and still _Reid_.

Luke lets out his breath. "Reid!" He hovers a few inches above Reid's face, and Reid's eyes blink rapidly a few times, then lock onto Luke's eyes.

Luke smiles. "Hey," he breathes out.

Reid licks his lips. "Luke," he croaks.

"Yeah," Luke nods. "It's me."

"Alrigh?"

"I'm all right," he says. "You saved me."

Reid's lips turn up at the corners, and he closes his eyes.

"Are _you_ all right, Reid? How do you feel?"

"Crap," Reid murmurs .

Luke chokes out a laugh. "Yeah, I bet you do," he says, brushing the hair off Reid's forehead and pressing his lips there.

"It's so good to see you awake. I've been- I've been so worried," Luke chokes out.

"Mm s'okay," Reid says, blinking his eyes open before closing them again.

"Reid, I have to tell you something."

"Hmm?"

"Reid, wake up for a second, I have to tell you something."

"M'wake," Reid blinks his eyes open, and shakes his head slightly.

Luke smiles, and strokes his fingers across Reid's beard. "I love you, Reid."

Reid's eyes reflect his surprise. "Did you get your mem'ries back?"

"Does it matter?" Luke asks.

Reid blinks slowly. "No."

"It doesn't matter to me either, Reid. But I want you to know that I loved you before we got off the island. I was- I was coming to tell you, but I was sick, and I couldn't get to you in time."

"You did?"

Luke nods, and presses his mouth to Reid's. "I did. I do, love you."

Reid's eyes go impossibly soft. "Love you too," he murmurs against Luke's lips.

Luke draws in a shaky breath, and brushes Reid's hair off his forehead. "Reid, I remember everything."

Reid frowns, a crease appearing on his forehead. "'Mnesia?"

"Cured," Luke says. "I remember the last four years."

Reid closes his eyes, a relieved sigh escaping his lips.

"They've been the best four years of my life too, Reid."

Reid smiles. "Love you, Mr. Snyder." he says,

Luke rubs his nose against Reid's. "Love you, Dr. Oliver."

*

 _Eleven months later._

 

"Welcome, everyone," Emma says, a beaming smile on her face as she stands at the head of the table. Almost every Snyder in town has gathered for Thanksgiving dinner at the farm, and the table is loaded down with a huge turkey and all the fixings, while half a dozen pies are cooling down on the kitchen counter. They make Reid's mouth water.

"I think it goes without saying that most of us here today are especially thankful for one thing this year," Emma says. "And that's that our darling Luke and his husband Reid returned to us safe and sound."

"Hear, hear," Holden says, holding his glass up in a toast, as everyone else around the table joins in.

Emma smiles. "So, Luke and Reid, would you like to say what you're thankful for?"

"Same as you, Grandma," Luke says. "I'm thankful that we're back home with all you guys, and that we can be here to celebrate together today. There were a couple of times on the island when I- I wasn't sure we'd make it." Luke smiles, and swallows visibly, getting his emotions under control. "I'm so grateful to have you all in my life, and especially to have Reid. I love you all so much."

Emma reaches over and pats Luke's cheek, and Luke smiles up at her.

"That was beautiful, sweetheart," Emma says. "Reid?"

Reid clears his throat. "I'm thankful for your pies, Emma," Reid says. "They're the thing I missed the most while we were gone."

"Reid!" Luke scolds, as the rest of the table collectively groans and rolls their eyes.

"Did you miss pie more than you missed me, Uncle Reid?" Jacob asks, his lower lip trembling.

Reid picks him up out of his chair and sits him on his lap. "Of course not, sport," Reid says, tweaking his nose. "I was just kidding around. I missed you a lot." Reid looks around the table. "And I too am thankful that we're able to be here to celebrate with you all today," he says. "Happy Thanksgiving, everyone."

"Cheers!" Emma says, holding up her glass.

"Happy Thanksgiving," the crowd murmurs to each other, before dishes start being passed around. Reid leans close and speaks in Luke's ear. "I'm thankful for my husband too," he whispers. "But I'm thankful for that every day."

"Reid," Luke says softly, his eyes shining. He presses his forehead against Reid's for a moment, sharing a smile with him before he pulls back and starts spooning yams onto his plate.

"Lemme go, Uncle Reid!" Jacob squirms on his lap, and Reid sits him back into his own chair, right next to Reid's - at Jacob's insistence - where he immediately grabs a slice of turkey off his plate and shoves it in his mouth.

"Jacob," Katie sighs. "We've talked about how we can't eat with our fists anymore and we need to use forks now, honey."

"Give the kid a break," Reid says.

"He certainly takes after his Uncle Reid when it comes to table manners," Katie smiles sweetly, still trying to pry the turkey out of Jacob's hand.

Reid snorts and loads up his own plate, and as the table dissolves into laughter and loud conversation, Reid glances around at his family, and a warm, content feeling bubbles up inside him. When Luke slips his hand into Reid's under the table a moment later, it gets even better.

*

"Let's go for a walk," Luke tells Reid after dinner. "To the pond."

Reid shrugs. "Grab a blanket," he says. "The ground's probably wet and cold."

Luke nods and gets one out from the cupboard behind the stairs, then he and Reid head to the pond hand-in-hand.

Luke smiles to himself as they walk. It's been a good day. Heck, it's been a good month. Luke and Reid celebrated their first wedding anniversary a couple weeks earlier. They spent a few days in Chicago, both of them agreeing that they weren't quite ready to fly, or hit the beach again just yet. It had been great - no pager for Reid, and no work for Luke, just lots of good food and lots of good sex. And today had been great too. It was fun to have his whole family there, and he'd gotten to play with his nephew and his brother and sisters. His mom was especially attentive, she has been ever since they flew back to Oakdale from Chile, and he gets a real kick out of how much she seems to have changed, the way she even dotes on Reid these days. Luke grins, remembering the look on Reid's face when she'd left a lipstick mark on his cheek earlier, and called him sweetheart.

"I liked it better when she hated me," Reid had muttered in Luke's ear, swiping at his cheek with a napkin. Luke had laughed, elbowing him gently in the ribs.

When they reach the pond, Luke spreads out the blanket and they sit down. The air is cool, and Luke snuggles up close to Reid, slipping his fingers under Reid's sweater to stroke along the scar on his side. It matches the new scar on Luke’s body, where Reid’s kidney went in and saved his life almost a year ago. Reid's literally a part of Luke now, although he has been for five years now anyway.

As they look out over the calm waters of the pond, Reid sighs quietly, a content smile on his face, and Luke brings up something he’s been thinking about for a while now.

“Reid?”

“Hmm?”

“I’ve been thinking.”

“Did it hurt?"

Luke rolls his eyes and slides his hand around to pinch Reid’s nipple before laying his palm over Reid’s heart. “Reid, listen.”

Reid turns his head to face Luke. “What’s up?”

Luke licks his lips. “I’ve been thinking about- I think it’s time... I want us to have a kid.”

“Now?” Luke detects a note of surprise in Reid’s voice.

“Well, yeah,” Luke says. “We talked about it before we got married and we said we’d talk about it again when the time was right. I think that's now.”

“Why now?”

Luke thinks for a moment. “I don’t know,” he shrugs. “There’s no specific reason. It just feels right. I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately. I’ve been thinking about a little boy with curly hair and skinny little legs. I’ve been thinking we can take him camping, and his daddy can teach him how to fish, since he’s so good at it.”

Reid smiles.

“And we can teach him how to play chess – just for fun though, no competitions – and you can do science experiments with him, and I can take him out to the farm and teach him how to ride a horse.” Luke shrugs. “He’ll be ours, and we can love him and do everything right by him. We can do better than our parents..." Luke trails off. "We can give him a childhood filled with good memories."

Reid thumbs at the dip in Luke’s chin, his eyes glowing with affection. "It could turn out to be a girl, you know."

Luke shrugs. "I don't care, as long as it’s healthy, and happy."

After a moment, Reid says, “That sounds nice.”

“Doesn’t it?” Luke asks, his own eyes glittering with excitement. “So what do you say, Dr. Oliver?”

Reid smiles, brushing his thumb across Luke’s cheekbone. “Sounds like a plan, Mr. Snyder.”

Luke grins, and as they sit together by the pond, a million memories flash through Luke's mind. The first time Reid ever kissed him, in a hotel room in Dallas. Their second first kiss, Luke terrified at the thought of losing Reid. The first time they ever made love, at the old apartment, after months of painful rehab. The second first time they made love, in a tiny lean-to on a beach in the South Pacific. Luke could lose his memory a hundred times and it wouldn't matter. Reid's it for him. He'll always find his way back.

"Hey," Luke says. "I love you."

Reid smiles. "Love you, too."


End file.
